• Are Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams on the rocks? Heath's solo Valentine's day at Teddy's might be a clue. Then again, this chummy photo was taken last Saturday. Hmm! [Gatecrasher, second item]
  

• Kate Moss will not be charged with possession stemming from her September '05 cover shoot with the UK's Daily Mirror. Apparently something about a lack of evidence or being able to definitively prove she was bumping rails of blow and not, say, powdered sugar. You know how those skinny models love their powdered sugar! [Guardian]
• Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams didn't mean to snub Howard Stern at Nobu last week; they were just having "a very deep conversation about something in our personal life," says Ledger. Go ahead and read into that all you want, but they were likely just whining about Brooklyn. [Page Six]
• MSNBC host Keith Olbermann apologizes for telling a viewer to go fuck his mother. That was meant for Rita Cosby. [Lowdown]
• In a remarkable display of maturity, Lindsay Lohan turns down a round of shots, noting that she's underage. She still stayed out until 7 AM — thankfully, there's no age restrictions on marching powder. [R&M (bottom of page)]
• And after all that partying, Lohan still has the energy to be Madonna's new BFF. Though admittedly the starlet's not thrilled about getting Britney Spears' sloppy seconds. [Scoop]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood has headed off to rehab. How are these guys even alive enough to be addicts? Were they all given new livers at some point in the mid-90s? [Fox411 (2nd item)]
• First daughter Barbara Bush uses Craigslist for job-hunting. Suddenly, we soften. Just a little. [Page Six]

• After serving five days in jail rather than do community service for drunk driving in Honolulu, Michelle Rodriguez has been sentenced to 60 days for violating parole on a previous drunk driving incident in LA. She's also been ordered to rehab and must serve 30 days of community service. Clearly, the law is no fan of the way things have been going on Lost. [TMZ]
• Bad news for Brooklyn: Michelle Williams' father, Larry Williams, is in jail on tax evasion charges and stands accused of hiding $1.5 million from Uncle Sam. Which is exactly how he became a financial guru. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton plays an angry voicemail from Lindsay Lohan for a group of friends, then calls her a cunt." We believe the correct term is firecrotch. [R&M (last item)]
• The ballad of Axl and Tommy continues: while the official line is that Hilfiger punched Axl Rose after Rose moved his drink (presumably so that Rose could take his table), Hilfiger's rage may be heightened by the fact that Rose is dating Diane O'Connor, the ex-wife of Hilfiger's adopted brother, Michael H. [Page Six]
• Namibians want to declare a national holiday on the day that Angelina Jolie gives birth. [MSNBC]
• Socialite Tory Burch's clothing line isn't selling, despite an Oprah endorsement in 2004. Will O save face by frying Burch on an upcoming episode? [Lowdown]

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw the lonesome Brokeback cowboys going through the paces with their women.

Vigilant anti-Ratner organization Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn announces today the formation of an Advisory Board, full of celebrity superheroes willing to fight the crime, injustice, and the Nets Stadium. Notable Brooklynite members include Rosie Perez, Steve Buscemi, Jonathan Lethem, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams, Jhumpa Lahiri, and the Prince of Park Slope, Jonathan Safran Foer. In the release, Williams recovers from her Supporting Actress loss to chase the glory of Best Random Spokeswoman:

The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke returns from a long vacation with her annual slash-and-burn Oscar predictions. Perhaps fearing an arson conviction if she actually torched the Kodak Theater, Finke settles for kicking George Clooney in the balls, accusing conservative Academy members of fearing that Brokeback Mountain will give them a boner, calling Paul Giamatti a troglodyte (actually a point in his favor, she says), and, perhaps most sensationally, questioning Heath Ledger's taste in women:

Call it Dawson's Curse: wherever they are, ex-cast members of Dawson's Creek are haunted by the Question. No setting is too inappropriate: Joshua Jackson was asked in a public men's room. Now Michelle Williams, under the auspices of a Newsweek interview about her performance in Brokeback Mountain, once again falls victim to its pernicious prying:

After two years of pregnancy, actress Michelle Williams has finally spit out actor Heath Ledger's baby girl, named Matilda (not a great name, but better than Inspektor Hazel and cute enough, we suppose, in an ugly hipster baby sort of way). The baby was born in Brooklyn, but the couple is otherwise incredibly private, so that's about all we've got for you on the matter. But? You can finally — finally! — stop spotting the previously ginormous version of Ms. Williams waddling around Brooklyn. And that, dear friends, is the miracle of life.

Big news from the world of ambivalent celebrities: Actors Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams — often spotted out and about in Brooklyn being alternately "cute" or "greasy" — are reportedly engaged. At the LA premiere of The Brothers Grimm, the two made their first official appearance since Williams had grown visibly with-spawn; Williams was also seen sporting a large diamond ring on her engagement finger. (Does this mean we'll stop hearing about Ledger cavorting about town with cute women who aren't Michelle? Oh, we hope so.)