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• After serving five days in jail rather than do community service for drunk driving in Honolulu, Michelle Rodriguez has been sentenced to 60 days for violating parole on a previous drunk driving incident in LA. She's also been ordered to rehab and must serve 30 days of community service. Clearly, the law is no fan of the way things have been going on Lost. [TMZ]
• Bad news for Brooklyn: Michelle Williams' father, Larry Williams, is in jail on tax evasion charges and stands accused of hiding $1.5 million from Uncle Sam. Which is exactly how he became a financial guru. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton plays an angry voicemail from Lindsay Lohan for a group of friends, then calls her a cunt." We believe the correct term is firecrotch. [R&M (last item)]
• The ballad of Axl and Tommy continues: while the official line is that Hilfiger punched Axl Rose after Rose moved his drink (presumably so that Rose could take his table), Hilfiger's rage may be heightened by the fact that Rose is dating Diane O'Connor, the ex-wife of Hilfiger's adopted brother, Michael H. [Page Six]
• Namibians want to declare a national holiday on the day that Angelina Jolie gives birth. [MSNBC]
• Socialite Tory Burch's clothing line isn't selling, despite an Oprah endorsement in 2004. Will O save face by frying Burch on an upcoming episode? [Lowdown]