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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw the lonesome Brokeback cowboys going through the paces with their women.

In today's episode: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore; Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst; Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams; Kevin Smith; Linda Cardellini and Thomas Ian Nicholas; Scott Caan; Lara Flynn Boyle; Donatella Versace; Paula Abdul and Dante Spencer; Thandie Newton; Kevin Anderson and Chrisine Lahti; Renee Russo, Jackie Collins and Jack Klugman; Kathy Griffin; Rockmond Dunbar, Amaury Nolasco and Lane Garrison; Eric Szmanda and Paul Adelstein; Nick Cannon; Nick Cannon, Justin Long and Bill Maher; Talan Torriero; and Michael McDonald.

· Yesterday, 5/7. Runyon Canyon. Not even five minutes after smoking a bowl, saw Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore with their two dogs, one big, one small. Ashton was tall as hell, Demi was a small, tight bundle of MILF. As my gf was grabbing for a poopbag, Demi kindly handed hers to her, speaking in her raspy voice. My high-on girlfriend didn't know who it was until I told her. It was hot out despite Demi's cold weather indicators saying otherwise. Later on, spotted Diane Farr of Numb3rs. Everything is numbers.

· Jake Gyllenhaal in his ever present blue hoodie and Kirsten Dunst with Spiderman hair at The Guillemots show at The Roxy last night. Very low key. No NOTICE ME WE'RE STARS type attitude.

· Evidence that a late-ish dinner at the Chateau Marmont patio will end any celeb sighting drought: Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams were seated at a table in the middle with about 3 or 4 other peeps last night (5/9). It's hard to see clearly there, what with the dim candle light and hedges that get in the way and whatnot, but I did notice them holding hands and displaying what appeared to be sincere (and thankfully, appropriate) PDA.

· Kevin Smith @ the Arclight last night (5/7) buying tickets to a movie that may not have been MI:3. He was shamelessly self-promoting CLERKS 2 by wearing a bright red baseball jersey with the movie title in huge letters on the back.

Coachella sightings (I know I'm late!)

Spotted Linda Cardellini just outside the tent after Clap Your Hands Say Yeah hanging out with all the regular people. Later on that night, saw Thomas Ian Nicholas backstage during Daft Punk. He seemed completely not interested in one of the best performances of the weekend. His friends were also jockeying Paul Oakenfold who stood next to me, stone faced, during the whole set.

· Just had breakfast at Lulu's on Beverly. Scott Caan was a few tables away, having breakfast with a similarly hoodied and long-shortsed fellow. Looked good. After they paid their bill, the two of them got into Scott's car and sat there behind tinted windows for a few minutes. And then the other guy got out, counted his wad of 20s, and stuffed it into his wallet. Awesome.

· Tuesday, saw Lara Flynn Boyle walking her black lab on La Cienega and Third across from the Beverly Center. Tiny but not as skeletal as I expected—didn't look like she was going to drop dead in the street or anything. No makeup but has beautiful skin, which suprised me. I thought anorexics aged early? Excellent posture, looks like she took ballet lessons once upon a time.

· Saw Donatella Versace and many bodyguards at the cafe at Fred Segal Santa Monica on Saturday. This is the second time I've seen her, and she never looks as bad as you'd think she would look. The best part is that she was eating what I believe may have been a cheeseburger.

· Saw Paula Abdul at the Glen Center, hand and with her HOT boyfriend Dante Spencer and her dogs (I have to admit the little rats were cute, and they looked naked for celeberty dogs no clothes, no jewels, only colars and leashes). They were coming from the direction of Pets of Bel Air, so maybe they were on a family outing. Both Paula and Dante looked cute, casual and oh so stylish in jeans and t-shirts. Paula had on at least 6 inch heels but they didn't do much to help because he still towered over her. I never noticed before what a nice ass she has, But you got to give credit where credit is do. They're a sweet looking couple and if you believe the rumor mill, together for almost a year now. Someone should tell her, she can quit hiding him.

· Thandie Newton in the petting zoo @ Studio City farmer's market, Sunday, noonish

· Two weeks ago went to the Brentwood street festival. Saw Kevin Anderson at Starbucks. Also caught eyes with Christine Lahti, who was wearing a very fresh Spring suit. Very pretty, and very tall.

Went to the opening of Salome with Al Pacino. Kevin Anderson is in it. Red carpet event. Saw Renee Russo, who is inexplicably beautiful. Also, Jackie Collins and Jack Klugman (not together!).

· Tuesday, May 9, I was breakfasting at Toast and saw none other than Kathy Griffin leaving and collecting her car at valet. Maybe she as having a celebratory cupcake for her new TV special "Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman" — I believe it airs tonight. I'm not much of a Kathy Griffin fan (her reality show is cringe-worthy), but the title makes me giggle. Anyway, homegirl was in an all green ensemble, very soccer mom. Her hair looks like straw and is the color of Fanta. Cool! Her face didn't look as plastic surgery worked over as it does on TV. She climbed into a sporty new metallic blue Mercedes and drove away. Sweet ride!

· While watching the Lakers blow it in Game 6 against the Suns, saw some of my favorite felons from Prison Break. C Note (Rockmond Dunbar), Sucre (Amaury Nolasco) and Tweener (Lane Garrison) were there to take in the game. C-Note seemed into the game, Tweener seemed into being seen and Sucre just seemed incredibly hot. Being trapped in a cell with him and Wentworth Miller seems like the perfect way to spend an evening.

· Jury Duty, Downtown Criminal Court on Wednesday, May 10: saw CSI's Eric Szmanda (Greg Sanders). He got his service postponed, which makes no sense since he's basically on summer vacation for the next 3 months, but with all this talk of the "CSI effect" on juries, maybe he figures he's part of the problem. Also saw Prison Break's Paul Adelstein (Agent Kellerman) who I'm happy to report did not shirk his civic duty and served all day, but he's kind of a slob in person.

· Was on the same flight as Nick Cannon and posse coming back to L.A. from San Francisco this weekend. He was keepin' it real...real gaudy with a thick link gold chain that must have weighed about ten or twenty pounds around his skinny little neck and a Louis Vuitton backpack carry on. I was disappointed that there was no "Wild 'N Out" in first class during the hour long flight. He and his posse followed us all the way to the curb where they packed up into an SUV and we waited for a shuttle. Nick didn't help his posse pack the bags into the back. Neither did the limo driver.

· My friends and I managed to talk our way into Jeremy Piven's/Perez Hilton's Cinco de Mayo party at the Velvet Margarita Cantina last night. We got there kind of late, so the celeb sightings were at a bare minimum — no Piv, no Perez. But we had the fortune of seeing Nick Cannon leaving the party (he's looking really good these days), Justin Long (who I will always think of of the guy who almost got to bang Britney in "Crossroads" and nothing else) looking cute, and we had the grave misfortune of seeing Bill Maher making out with several skanky LA "hotties" on a big, red couch in the corner. Ew.

· Was having drinks yesterday at The Cat & Fiddle patio at around 5 p.m. and was sitting right next to Talan Torriero from Laguna Beach. No Kim Stewart in sight, but he was chatting up a pretty brunette. Talan was also wearing the ugliest shirt ever: a yellow Miami Vice t-shirt that's meant to look vintage and worn but was obviously just bought at Urban Outfitters a couple days ago.

· Does Michael McDonald from MadTV count for PrivacyWatch? What if it's at a leather-y gay bar in Silverlake? I'd always suspected the comedic semi-genius behind "Stuart" was a poofter but was nice to have it confirmed — the Faultline isn't really one of those gay bars that "cool" straight people frequent. Seemed to be enjoying himself. Wanted to go up and say "I can doooo it!!!" but was too crowded.