Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; this is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your tales of celebrity hunting to tips@gawker.com.

• Last week Jim McGreevey hawked his memoir to desperate housewives on Oprah. This week he hawks his memoir to desperate college students at The New School. [Paper]
• Bloomingdales, Kenneth Cole and InStyle host a party for Model Student, Robin Hazelwood's account of her days as a Yale undergrad/couture model. A few lucky shoppers will receive a free, autographed copy of the book — just try to wait a couple weeks before selling it on eBay. [WUNYC]
• Once again, we defer to the descriptive insanity of flavorpill: "Kiahkeya Productions transforms Hiro Ballroom into a reverie of frenetic tribal dance." Seriously, what more do you need to know? BYO peyote. [flavorpill]

This fellow is Andrew Beran, an adjunct professor at NYU, Pace and Marymount. According to ratemyprofessors.com, he's the 10th hottest professor in the country and the top hottie in New York. Given that Beran teaches math, you have to remember that this is all relative — but, um, is this the best we can do? If the University of Texas can have someone like hipster-scientist-prof Sam Gosling on board, surely New York's institutions of higher learning could boast of a lust object who doesn't wear loafers.

• While you were rocking the Aquanet or, if you're a bit younger, the snap bracelets, acclaimed Mexican director Alfonso Cuar n was busy directing his first film, S lo con Tu Pareja. Fifteen years later, the film, about a "yuppie and womanizer falsely diagnosed with AIDS," finally makes its American debut. [flavorpill]
• Continuing with the AIDS beat, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Parker Posey dance for charity at AmfAR Rocks, an AIDS research benefit. All in a day's work for the rich and semi-fabulous. [Paper]
• Republican Playbook author Andy Borowitz kicks of the third season of his eponymous show with fellow comedians Jimmy Carr, Dean Obedidallah and the Daily Show's John Oliver. Nothing about AIDS, at least to our knowledge. [NYM]

We've always been of the mind that realtors are the human incarnation of pure evil (see: the CorcoDevil), but perhaps the situation is a bit more literal than one might think. It's one of those great, insane, "Christ, we love this town" sort of stories: Upper West Side resident Daniel Farash put his condo up for sale and then left town for the weekend so that his broker, Julie Johnson of Warburg Realty, could host an open house. The open house didn't go so well, which may have something to do with what Farash encountered upon his return, which was traumatic enough to merit a lawsuit:

Via Grub Street, some disturbing news about Chinatown Brasserie, the restaurant for those who want great Chinese food but don't want to wade through the aromas of Chinatown and will happily pay three times the price for the privilege. It seems Executive chef Tyson Ophaso attempted to intervene in an altercation between three men and the restaurant's ma tre d', "the biggest and youngest... man then dragged the hapless chef by his feet onto the sidewalk and proceeded to beat him up, despite the best efforts of Brasserie staff — but no other onlookers — to protect him."

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; this is our occasional, retro-style rundown. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• Michel Gondry finally puts you in a darkened room with Gael Garcia Bernal. Try not touch yourself while watching The Science of Sleep, which opens tonight. [flavorpill]
• Fake priests, Jews for Jesus and a man who claims to be Christ remind you of your sinful ways in The Gods of Times Square, Richard Sandler's 1999 documentary about your not-so-friendly neighborhood street preachers. [Paper]

• The new McDonald's advertisements in China are downright sexy. Funny how'd they'd encourage any sort of sexuality in a country where the female seeds get killed. [WSJ]
• Frat boys, mount up: tonight's the launch party for Times Square's latest horror, the Hawaiian Tropic Zone Restaurant and Lounge. It's the 700 cubic tons of sand you've always dreamed of. [The Real Estate]
• The 22-year-old founder of Facebook wants to sell for $1.5 billion, and the twit just might get away with it. You ready to kill yourself yet? Here, use our knife and be sure to cut vertically. [WSJ]
• Fox News partially sponsored the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association convention in Miami Beach. Don't tell Rupert. [New Times BPB]
• Wow: Weird Al is back. We didn't realize he was gone, but hey. [YouTube]
• You can do a lot in NYC in a single day and spend less than $100. You just might have to go to Luke and Leroy's. Sacrifices, people. [Gridskipper]
• You still have a chance to have your dirty secrets immortalized in print — the forthcoming Gawker book is still taking submissions, and it's about time you told someone about how your refusal to do anal with your boss ultimately cost you that promotion.

• The well-meaning, good-hearted, trust-funded kids at Good magazine take a break from saving the planet in order to pound a few PBRs. Grandmaster Flash hits the turntables and everyone proceeds to party like its 1982. [flavorpill]
• Sex! (Orson Welles has three baby mamas.) Murder! (Someone mysteriously dies on set.) Politics! (We're not sure, but it probably involves Rosebud.) It's all happening at the North American premiere of Fade to Black at the MoMa. [Paper]
• Anderson Cooper teams up with Doctors Without Borders to discuss humanitarian efforts in Darfur, Lebanon and other vacation hotspots. He proceeds to warm the hearts of middle class New Yorkers who couldn't locate Darfur on a map, but love those blue eyes. [Cooper]

Our wanderlusting brother Gridskipper has been tirelessly running his "Most [Whatever] City" polls (if you recall, you dumped champagne on your head on Monday, when New York was declared the World's Sexiest City in a NSFW showdown); now, via a nomination process, New York is up against Detroit for the title of Most Masculine City. Really, the title should probably go to Detroit — if you've been there, you know what we're talking about. But because we are on a constant quest to rationalize a lifestyle in which $1500/month gets you a 100-square-foot studio apartment and a crosstown cab takes 7 hours of your time, we must win.

Sightings are sent by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Sex columnists such as Rachel Kramer Bussel, Laura Leu, and Jamye Waxman gather at Happy Ending to share dating mishaps that led to a not-so-happy ending. Comfort food is conveniently provided to make up for the lack of action. [Paper]
• Norwegian pop sensation Sondre Lerche performs a "genre-bending oeuvre" at the Maritime Hotel. Go for the music, stay because he's cute. [flavorpill]
• Mugshots of awkward social misfits are a lot like My Super Sweet Sixteen: slightly repulsive, but slightly reaffirming of your superiority. [NYM]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Nouvelle Vague is a lovely little French group that performs creative, interpretative covers of classic post-punk and new wave hits. Go and hear the Buzzcocks like never before. [flavorpill]
• The Who performs their greatest hits from the 60s and 70s for their loyal army of overzealous fans, plus that one kid that likes that song they used in Girl Next Door. [MSG]
• Aerosmith performs their greatest hits from the 70s and 80s for their loyal army of overzealous fans, plus that one kid who still thinks Alicia Silverstone hot. [NYM]

Those of you who worry about the safety of the city's water supply should sleep a little more easily this evening. According to the News, our drinking water "is being guarded around-the-clock against toxic and biological weapons" by, uh, a couple of bluegill fish on loan from the U.S. Army. The fish are apparently able to detect any waterborne hazards and are constantly monitored by the city's Department of Environmental Protection. Woo hoo! We feel safer already! All we need now is to borrow a couple of canaries from the Marines to monitor the air supply and we're free and clear.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

It's apparently Pedophile Day in state politics: The News' Ben Smith notes a controversy concerning the image above, used in a flier by failed Attorney General candidate Sean Patrick Maloney. Gay City News claims that the image perpetuates a stereotype of gay men preying on young boys. Smith finds the concern "overwrought," wondering how we even know the predator in the picture is supposed to be gay. (It's the hair, Ben.)

• Henri Bendel hosts a one-month sweater sale; fashion editors proceed to spend .05% of their annual salary on items that will be used as presents for their very unstylish relatives. [WUNYC]
• Shrinking wages! Reduced pensions! Say it aint so! For only $25, a few upper middle class people, including former senator John Edwards, Wall Street Journal editor Stephen Moore and author Barbara Ehrenreich remind you of your place in the caste system. [NYM]
• Once again, we're amazed at flavorpill's never-ending fragments. Brazilian vocalist Otto dabbles in "hip-hop, post-psychedelic Brit-hop and traditional Afro-Brazilian maracatu with ambient techno rhythms and funky bossa nova samples." There's also some mangue percussion in there somewhere. [flavorpill]

Bad news for New York's young learners. And David Amsden.