Who knew that many movie classics—from Scarface, to The Wizard of Oz, to Citizen Kane, to Star Wars, and more—could be improved so greatly just by swapping out a famous line for some Mel Gibson nonsense? Video inside.

We've heard Mel Gibson tell Oksana Grigorieva she "deserved" getting punched. Now, a fight about his daughter: "You hit me and you hit her, while she was in my hands." Mel's response: "You need a fucking kick up the ass."

JULY 20 — We've heard Mel Gibson tell Oksana Grigorieva she "deserved" getting punched. Now, a fight about his daughter: "You hit me and you hit her, while she was in my hands." Mel's response: "You need a fucking kick up the ass." LISTEN »

Lohan's day of surrender is nigh, and she has no lawyer and is tweeting sad little "eeeks." Oksana Grigorieva walked away from $15 million. Enrique Iglesias photographs his junks. Tuesday gossip is full of foreboding.

Today The New York Daily News published an ode to Mel Gibson's rear end. Master butt debater Lindy West argues that Mel's "round and shapely apple pies" are cute enough to justify keeping him in the public eye.

This is the house where Mel Gibson lives. It is where he allegedly punched ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, and where he sat when he yelled into the phone that she "fucking deserved it." Wouldn't you like a virtual tour?

Gwyneth introduces her spiritual guru to boat shoes crowd. Mel Gibson is not actually moving to Australia. (But maybe he should.) The Situation is writing a book. Lindsay Lohan is still in denial about jail. Monday gossip wants to believe.

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Mel Gibson just sold his $24 million mansion outside of New York, and has put his Malibu home up for sale. He's told friends he's moving back to Australia, where his screams will echo across the outback. [Daily Mail]

Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

Paris Hilton gets busted for pot in Corisca. US Weekly paid a lot of money for their Bristol/Levi exclusive. Lindsay Lohan: Going to jail. Wesley Snipes: Also going to jail. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is filled with crime and punishment.

Everyone was crazy and angry and getting engaged this week. Let's take a look at what went down.

Before their hair-raising, curse-strewn telephone calls were the talk of the tabloids, Oksana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson made a music video together. Mel directed Oksana dodging flying knives and writhing rhapsodically in a fire. In retrospect? Kinda creepy.

Pamela Anderson fights for her right to be objectified. Bristol Palin refuses to look at Levi's Playgirl spread. Which iPhone app did Oksana Grigorieva use to record Mel Gibson's terrifying rants? Lady Gaga house-hunts in the Hamptons. TGIFriday gossip.

"You know what mean is now, don't you?" Mel Gibson taunts ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva in the latest phone recording. Then, a revelation: "I don't have any fucking money... I have to sell my box at the Lakers game."

Now we know why Oksana and Mel fought over her dentist: He was helping her leave her abuser. Kelly Osbourne breaks up with her model boyfriend. Angela Jolie is going to Comic Con. Thursday gossip is in a dark place.

Have you seen this website, I Write Like? It's pretty simple: You paste some text, it "analyzes" the writing, and matches it to a famous author. So who does Mel Gibson rant like? What if I told you Margaret Atwood?

Mel Gibson keeps a handgun in his bedroom. Good thing he's so calm.

Here goes Whoopi Goldberg getting mad at bloggers for getting mad at her for defending crazy Cujo racist Mel Gibson. She makes some nuanced point about racism or whatever, but really the whole point is: Whoopi Goldberg knows celebrities!