· Teen magazine sales are on the decline; perhaps our youth are too drug-addled and busy getting botox to read YM? [NY Sun]
· Mass exodus amongst the higher ranks of the Daily News has us wondering if publisher Mort Zuckerman isn't giving his employees the expense accounts they need. Simple lesson: keep the talent drunk, and they'll stay on staff. [NYP]
· Hey, have you heard about these blog things? Or Dan Rather? Something about the future of journalism—oh, let's just shut the fuck up already. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
· Proving that even "stoned slackers" can read, The Daily Show's literary debut, America: The Book will debut in the top slot in the October 10th edition of the Times rankings. [NYDN]

Heads are dangerously close to rolling at CBS, it would seem, as former Attorney General Dick Thornburgh and assorted legal rottweilers have started interrogating CBS bigwigs regarding that memo thingie everyone's yapping about. Now, we know this is a big deal, but Daily News gossip ho Lloyd Grove can barely control himself:

Today marks the exciting! and sexy!! debut of the new Times Corrections page. The page is now divided into two sections: "Corrections," which features the big-ass mistakes ("A map grouping on Tuesday that related the presidential election outlook to state ballot measures for a ban on same-sex marriage coded Montana and Kentucky incorrectly."), and "For The Record," which recounts the tiny slip-ups ("A listing of television outlets yesterday for live coverage of the presidential debate at the University of Miami last night omitted a cable network. Fox News also carried it.").

The Kung Fu Records website announces that Variety has served punk band The Vandals (please no angry e-mails about my possibly incorrect genre-pigeonholing etc etc) with a cease-and-desist letter over the band's new logo. Frankly, we don't see the resemblance. The Vandals' bass player muses, "It's weird that a news organization that depends on free speech for its livelihood couldn't see the artistic merit of what we have done." Weird? Clearly, the band's never read any of the gibberish below the "V" at the top of a Variety page.

On Sunday, public editor Dan Okrent's column called for a change in the format of the New York Times' "Corrections" column. Today, the paper announced they were going to do exactly that. Starting tomorrow. So, just to recap: Dan Okrent says the "Corrections" need to change and, in under a week, it does.

Fuck, we just realized that we actually HAVE heartstrings and, what's worse, the New York Times is pulling on them. Well, it's actually Joyce Wadler's Boldfaced Names and, more specifically, her poor legger Lily Koppel that we want to protect (must we consider them part of the Times? They're too cracky for that. They deserve better, no?).

Dear New York Post Gossip-Mongers,

God forbid one newspaper run a story and the rest jump on the bandwagon. That would be, like, awful. Oh, wait, I just realized that New York magazine said Manhattan teens are popping lots of pills, then the New York Times said they were getting plastic surgery, and now the Observer has put a nice little bow on the package with their article about the pressures of being a freshly waxed, botoxed, and toned Manhattan girl. Hold the phone, I think we have a full-blown trend on our hands. Call the marketing gurus ASAP, we must alert them to this strange new species of rich teenagers!
The Botox Babies [Observer]
[Image via CosmoGirl]

When Vanity Fair's James Wolcott said magazine parties were dead, we thought he experienced a momentary collapse in memory. After all, everyone knows VF exists solely to throw celebrity-infested parties. But then Graydon Carter went and called the culture of celebrity viral, and we have to wonder if these Vanity men are sick in the head. The Daily reports:

A spy tips us that Viacom co-president/toothy, inevitable galactic dictator Les Moonves visited the offices of KROQ as part of a tour of the conglomerate's Los Angeles radio properties. Is Moonves pushing up the date of the invasion that will someday enslave us all, kicking the tires of his instruments of eventual domination? Our spy's transmissions were choppy; no doubt he was hiding in an air duct until Moonves' white-glove inspection passed. Here's what we pieced together:

Why Matt, we thought you'd never ask.
Drudge Report

The New York Times served a giant bitchslap to the Department of Justice yesterday with a lawsuit against John Ashcroft. No, you can't just go and sue someone for being an asshole, but you can sue them for trying to obtain information on journalists' confidential sources. It has something to do with the First Amendment, we hear.

Now that James Wolcott has a blog, it seems his grip on reality is slowly slipping. Take, for instance, his interview with Salon:

In the wake of last Friday's bloodshed in the house Felix Dennis built, Blender magazine's former editor-in-chief Andy Pemberton was left living in a cardboard box. Today brings the announcement that Craig Marks, who has been with the music publication since its launch in 2001, will be Pemberton's replacement. After the jump, the uber-exclusive memo in which the magazine's frequency is upped to 12 times a year and Craig professes a fondness for the word "crunk." Don't we all love a little ghetto slang?

We don't listen to Rush Limbaugh unless we know he's high — and, since he's reportedly clean now, he's fallen off our radar. So it came as much surprise to stumble across a transcript featuring a soundbite from fallen media angel Tina Brown. But why bother with Tina's quote (at this point, it's more fun to guess what she said than read her actual words) when Rush gives us such a stunning introduction:

In the wake of Dan Rather's memo gaffe (you did hear about that, right? It was on "The Daily Show" or something), CBS brass is looking to place blame wherever they can. When you're a pissed network exec, canning Dan Rather isn't satisfying enough, you know? You need to behead as many people as you can! As such, we hear they've turned their attention to PR flackster Gil Schwartz.

The man on the left is Metallica frontman James Hetfield. The man on the right is Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett. The photo editors at Page Six, however, have kindly labeled the man on the left as the man on the right. While we don't particularly care about the correct identification of heavy metal rock legends (other than that little issue of accurate journalism, but it's Page Six, so we're not going there), we did want to give the Post a thumbs-up for the slight improvement over spotting dead men out on the town. Baby steps, gang.
Sightings [Page Six]

· CBS had tentative timelines for Dan Rather's retirement — which, of course, are going to be completely reevaluated in the wake of MemoGate. The network says Rather will be their focus for the next few months, like he's even going to be on air that long. [NYT]
· Will the Washington Post suck up Slate, which has been up for grabs since July? The WaPo Co. is attracted to "Slate's smart-people-procrastinating-at-work readership." Or stoned-and-unemployed. [Intelligencer]
· Celebrity "magazines" get all tangled up in the Britney's sticky web of marriage deception. [NYP]
· Will the LA Times endorse a candidate for President? If so, it will be the first time since 1972. Ah, Los Angeles finally discovers politics. How cute. [E&P]

Now that Cynthia Nixon is out of the closet and openly frolicking about the island of Lesbos, some New York women have taken to reflecting on the advantages of same-sex relationships. But not Tina Brown, oh no:

Aw, look: our slutty step-sister Wonkette finally sold out! Or did the New York Times do the selling? All you have to do, apparently, to make the cover of the magazine is be a "horny housewife" with a blog. Oh, that and willingly squeeze yourself between RW Apple, Jr. and Jack Germond. You don't even want to know where this went after they took the picture.
In Other Magazines [Slate]