In his latest New York Magazine column, Kurt Andersen takes on everything from Dan Rather to bloggers and asserts his old media bona fides. We're not talking about his fond remembrance of his TIME Magazine-era Selectric typewriter and 6PM cocktail: we're talking about really old media:

Click to enlarge, frat boy.

In today's New York Times, Katharine W. Seelye looks at the growing luxury lifestyle magazine genre, with specific attention paid to Absolute.

After taking a week off so she could make puppy chow for her Oscar party, you'd think Tina Brown would come back to Topic A refreshed and revitalized. But you'd be wrong. It was hard to coax Henry the Intern into even writing a review of this week's show, which featured a whole lotta nothing (with a dash of discussion on female binge drinking — quite the hot topic these days, no?). After the jump, Henry braves the boring for his weekly report.

The Economist, March 5, 2005... Newsweek, March 14, 2005.

· Our crazy sister site thinks she might know the Pulitzer Finalists. Let's hope the little birdies who told her are different from those Exit Poll birdies. Those birdies sucked. [Wonkette]
· Gosh, no one seems to have found the NYPress' Pope cover story funny. [Lowdown]
· Our brother site looks at what W might think of Lindsay Lohan. He calls it unfortunate juxtaposition; in New York, we call it subtext, 'cause we're pretentious snobs. [Defamer]
· Folio looks at Vice. Sounds like a good magazine. Wish we'd heard of it sooner. [Folio]

Last night on Charlie Rose's eponymous talk show, This is Charlie Rose, featuring the Charlie Rose Orchestra, he talked with Esquire editor-in-chief David Granger.

· Not Cool [Slate]
· Don't Be Cool [NYP]
· 'Be Cool': Not cool [Detroit Free Press]
· 'Be Cool' ain't so cool [DetNews]
· Be Cool' just isn't that cool [Kansas City Star]
· 'Cool' falls 'Shorty' [Grand Rapids Press]
· Be Cool -er than this [Washington Blade]
· Be Cool ends up lukewarm [The Gazette]
· Sequel to 'Get Shorty' is quick to lose its cool [Philadelphia Inquirer]
· 'Be Cool' is lukewarm [Lexington Herald-Leader]
· 'Be Cool' should have been kept on ice [Redlands Daily Facts]
· 'Be Cool,' skip this film [Washington Times]
· Comedy 'Be Cool' not so hot [Times Leader]
· 'Be Cool' is vaguely entertaining [Statesman Journal]

In her review of The Great Mortality — John Kelly's new book about the Black Plague — Michiko Kakutani embraces the power of metaphor:

First Legs McNeil came out swinging at Martin Amis, and now Kurt Andersen is puffing his chest up at James Wolcott. The usually timid literary/journalism scene is starting to resemble the hip hop world with all these feuds. We haven't seen this much beef in lit land since Norman Mailer stopped advertising for himself. (And, no, that's not a shot at Mailer's weight: we don't want a feud of our own.)

The New York Times just announced two new features to the 'Metro' section: 'Ink,' and 'Lens.' According to the press release:

Porn-loving writers, can't you all just get along? Today's 'Page Six' reports on the ugly words Legs McNeil, author of The Other Hollywood, has for his not-quite rival in highbrow porn appreciation, Martin Amis:

We made a plea to Bill Keller to reconsider the fate of the Times' struggling Circuits section (why not, like, up the ante and get some new writers/beats?) but, alas, talk continues of a metrosexual revamp:

Who's that rakish young New Yorker with the tousled hair and the watch worth more than our parents' house sitting in the Oval Office talking with the president? Why, it's none other than New York Post publisher Lachlan Murdoch, this week's heir apparent to his father's vast News, Corporation. (Sorry, Jimmy!)

jessicagawker: Hey, buddy! Long time, eh?
jessicagawker: Listen, I just wanted to let you know — not to be nitpicky or anything, but...
jessicagawker: It's HOBBIT. But it's okay, we all make mistakes!
jessicagawker: I mean, have you ever read Gawker?

Due to poor judgement, there was a mistake in the lives of two 'Op-Ed' page contributors, Maureen Dowd and John Tierney. According to The New York Daily News' 'Rush & Molloy':

Our brainy kid sister site turns us onto an amazing web ap today called Montage-a-Google.

You tell us, motherfuckers.

We'd say Unilever is insensitive, but that depends on what the definition of "is" is.

· Ari Fleischer: The man so dull, TIME snoozed on his interview. [Wonkette]
· How do you punish Armstrong Williams for taking cash to write government propaganda? By giving him a new gig on the radio, of course. [NYT]
· Adam Penenberg on the annoyance of pop-up ads. Luckily, we don't have to deal with this problem because we don't read pop-up books. [Wired]
· Martha Stewart's exit from prison will be a classy, private affair for her family and close intimates. And a flatbed truck for the fleet of reporters present. [Money, CNN]