In a Times magazine piece about gay romance novels, we were presented with perhaps the best lede ever:

It can't be a good sign when your posters are defaced before Crobar's.

Back in his pre-Times days, some of David Brooks' best-known writings were about the Times wedding page. "Unabashed elitist, secretive, and totally honest, the 'mergers and acquisitions page' (as some of its devotees call it) has always provided an accurate look at at least a chunk of the American ruling class. And over the years it has reflected the changing ingredients of elite status," he wrote in Bobos in Paradise. "The Times emaphasizes four things about a person — college degrees, graduate degrees, career path, and parents' profession — for these are the markers of upscale Americans today."

Gather round, children. It's time for a game of Who's Earning Their Keep?, in which we vote on the comparative worth of two staffers based solely on their output. For our inaugural competition, we're pitting somewhat error-prone, fluff reporter Sarah Boxer against real estate-obsessed, hard-nosed news slave Anna Bahney. First, as of last Friday, the facts:

We're passport-carrying residents of Romeneskoland, and, even so, we admit we find an awful lot of media criticism to be stultifyingly boring. We agree entirely with one famously incisive observer, who recently wrote, "It's not that I don't believe emphatically in square dealing and maximum honesty, but the customary righteousness, disingenuousness, futility, and wonky tedium of such debates are for me almost unbearable."

Next week in Amy Sohn: And what's the deal with guys never putting down the toilet seat? Am I right, ladies?

The latest issue of Time magazine has a stunning — if not nauseating — account of prisoner abuse at Guantanomo Bay:

· Landesman gives Shafer 26 words in response. Sadly, none of them are "poop." [Romenesko]
· CNN decides that, you know, it needs a personality. [MarketWatch]
· University of Illinois j-school graduates ponder just how they got it wrong. (And "not going to Medill" is not the answer.) [Chicago Reader]

As mentioned yesterday, the Times' Marketplace Weekly hit the streets yesterday, to reactions ranging from a yawn to pummelling rage. The Post, cackling as always, finds vendors who couldn't get rid of them. Part of the problem: The lead story was more than a month old and had been heavily cut down.

A lot of women marry for money, but if they're truly wise they'll marry for money and direct access to an industry of interest. Take, for instance, MacKenzie Bezos, wife of online book behemoth Amazon.com founder and CEO Jeff Bezos:

Better than salt and vinegar, we suppose.

One of the many things we love about Slate's Jack Shafer is, despite his hyper-intelligent writing style and non-ruffled coat demeanor, that he's not afraid to hop in the scrum and rough it up a little. He throws some more fluid on the Peter Landesman fire today, responding to Landesman's response to Shafer's response to Landesman's response to ... oh, it's all kind of confusing.

You know what's really sad? Those fancy-pants National Magazine Awards. Sure, the awards were, like, two months ago, but from what we hear, the sting of being overlooked and thus empty-handed has been long lingering in the fey soul of New York magazine editor-in-chief Adam Moss.

Imagine applying for a new job. You've gone through all the channels, you've met with your potential boss, you've said the right things, you've even complimented him on his vomit tie. All you have to do now is go see the HR department. You walk in the door, and there, waiting for you, is ... Jayson Blair! (You'll have to look close. He's very tiny.)

This morning, we presented you with the biggest question since, say, why the latest Vanity Fair has a 11-page spread on the saga of 5th Avenue hawks Pale Male and Lola six months after the fact.

· Daily News staff all angry-like at new EIC. Post setting world record for most consecutive cartwheels. [NY Post]
· Uh, anybody out there see this Downing Street Memo? Anybody? Come on: Somebody had to read it? Anyone? Hello? [Salon]
· Apparently, they give out awards for journalists. Where are the red carpet shots? Joan Rivers? At least some dude without pit stains? [National Press Club]—WL

Cityrag raises an interesting question: What's the amount of free advertising Starbucks gets from all the paparazzi photos of of A-List celebrities and their ubiquitous 'Bucks cups? We'd look into it, but we're too busy relishing every last calorie of our Frappucinos. That caramel goes down real nice.






Click the image at right to enlarge.
We Are The Starbucks Children [Cityrag]

We'll be honest: We never pick up the crappy free newspapers. In fact, we hate people for picking them up. We live in the greatest newspaper city in the world: Break out the freaking quarters already, tightwad.

Huffington Post resident crack-monkey Greg Gutfeld has created a bit of a stir amongst his contemporaries, as he recently posted instructions on how to make a "media container," which was really a Gutfeldian diatribe on burying alive fellow Huffposters. As with the launch of any grand idea, there has been an inevitable backlash:

Two years ago, Donny Deutsch was the hottest guy in advertising, boasting of his net worth, high-brow clients and "the best body of any CEO in advertising," which is kind of like being the richest blogger. (He was even contemplating running for mayor, which is all we need.) These days, however, the CNBC host appears to be spending too much time primping and not enough time minding the store.