· Hurricane Katrina causes the evacuation of the productions of Michael Keaton's The Last Time, Lucy Lawless's The Vampire Bats, and, perhaps most disappointingly, Road House 2. Don't miss the "Stars Flee Hurricane Katrina" graphic on the Variety homepage. [Variety]
· "With possibly hundreds dead, many injured and millions displaced — including most of New Orleans, which was underwater — reporters found themselves covering a story that got bigger as daylight rose on what looked on television like a scene from a Hollywood disaster movie." Do we really need the Hollywood point of reference when we can see the actual tragedy on TV, not recreated on sound stages? [THR]
· Jim Carrey is in talks to costar with Ben Stiller in Fox comedy Used Guys, about two obsolete "pleasure clones" who are "rendered obsolete by superior models whose enhancements include better listening and lovemaking skills." [Variety]
· Producers continue to flounder trying to fill James Bond's empty tuxedo, with Casino Royale's start date looming in January. They're hilariously picky about who gets to replace to the too-pricey Pierce Brosnan—Broadway-loving Hugh Jackman isn't "masucline enough," Ewan McGregor is "too short," Eric Bana's not "good-looking enough," and we think we all know about what's wrong with Colin Farrell. [THR]
· Need something to take your mind off of the hurricane coverage? How about a story on the Venice Film Festival being on high-alert for potential terrorist attacks? [Variety]

No, it won't make a sound. Not today, at least:

Maybe it's just our innate skepticism, but isn't this going to be a really boring "look?" Let's check it out:

The Front Page Award, given by the Newswomen's Club of New York, is, in certain rarefied circles, a big deal. The winners come from the city's finest publications, and the whole event is an estrogen-fuelled banquet of honors and accolades. So you can understand how absolutely strange it was, then, for a close associate to find the above award sitting discarded in a pile of garbage on the North side of 19th street, just West of 3rd avenue.

The Feh blog thinks that the folks at The Hollywood Reporter could've offended Chinese people a little more effectively than this headline's hilarious reduction of the culture to their tasty food:

After spending two development seasons discovering that merely being Jewish didn't guarantee the pick-up of one of his sitcom pilots, LAT Sunday Hollywood opinion-haver Joel Stein briefly thrusts himself into the bosoms of Scientology and Kabbalah. Stein finds the hot fake-Jewesses of the K-Centre preferable to the tasty brunch of the Celeb Centre, leading to some truly disturbing red-string cockring and handjob imagery:

RIP Peter Jennings, 1938-2005.

From time to time, we dip into the mail bag and turn over some blogspace to an opposing viewpoint. In response to our posts about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's recent trip to Lake Havasu, Arizona (in which the couple's local itinerary was recreated in painstaking detail, right down to Pitt's choice in IHOP breakfast). Writes "Disgusted with Your Story":

The premiere issue of OK! magazine (think US Weekly, but without the edge) wastes no time in establishing its trendspotting chops, whispering the location of the secret "Hollywood getaway" that lures the A-list with its siren call. And where exactly is this exotic locale, where the jet-set seeks refuge from the grind of Los Angeles? Hint: You may be standing on it right now! The answer after the jump:

As if it weren't bad enough when Google News sullied the West Nile Virus's good name by associating it with Kathy Hilton, now their crazed news-bot is trying to use the Hilton matriarch and her mindless reality show to bring down the entire Texas public school system. [Scroll down the page until you see the pic.]

No, we didn't not make this up. The Poynter Institute's six-figure media blogger Jim Romenesko has a dorky little secret. It's an old blog entry, where readers could go to share fond memories of their favorite "news bloopers." Like, remember back in 1988 when the Savannah Morning News made a dummy box that actually went to print?! Ah, good times, man.

We'd normally just tack this on as an update, but we feel the following clarification merits its own post (before too many more of you email us). Earlier, we posted an email from Eric Alterman in which he announced his need for a new assistant. Among Alterman's prerequisites for employment:

It's a tough time to be an aspiring public intellectual. You've got the master's, you've got the recognized byline, and you discover those things qualify you for what exactly? To be lefty pundit Eric Alterman's researcher/secretary. According to an email forwarded to us last night:

• The Deep Throating trio of Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, and Ben Bradlee think Time Inc.'s editor-in-chief Norm Pearlstine has half the balls of late WaPo publisher Katharine Graham. Time whipping-boy Matthew Cooper is inclined to agree. [R&M]
• When learning that Glamour magazine is planning an exposé of Scientology with a former Scientologist for its September magazine, the "church" sent a gang of OT-IVs to bully up the Condé Nasties. Let the battle of the cults begin. [Page Six]
• Donald Trump, Jr. is rumored to be shopping around exclusive rights to his November wedding to Vanessa Haydon and looking for around six figures. Like father, like son. [Lowdown]
• Here's a shocker: Journos forced to interview celebrities say the stars don't shine all too brightly. [Page Six]

Forgive us a moment of non-smartass, non-Manhattanite comment, but we wanted to stop and tip our Romenesko bookmarks to David Shaw, the Los Angeles Times's magisterial media critic.

• Jude Law is simply too hot for one woman. His lithe love must be shared with the world, which is exactly why he cheated on his fiancée Sienna Miller. At least he kept it close to home by doing the nanny. [SMH]
• Bonnie Fuller screws Shar Jackson the only way she knows how: Public hate-fucking, complete with photos. [Lowdown]
• Writer Robin Gregg sues Post sachem Col Allan for not paying up for Gregg's story. The catch? Gregg stole the piece from the National Enquirer. There're so many levels of wrong here, it feels right to us. [Gatecrasher]
• Happy anniversary to Courtney Love, who's now been clean and wobble-free for one year. [R&M]
• After Today co-host Matt Lauer is spotted flying solo in the Hamptons, rumors of his divorce from Annette Roque are refueled. In a perfect world, he'd hook up with Katie Couric and they'd make little NBC babies. [Page Six]
• Florida's former Secretary of State Katherine Harris gets into the healing powers of Kabbalah water. Too bad that stuff can't wash the shit clinging to her since 2000. [Scoop]

• Be silent, dear reader, and behold the pastoral glory that is Madonna's Vogue spread with her British chickens, all of which are outfitted in little cone-shaped bras. [Just Jared]
• Is Desperate Housewives a comedy? An IM debate in thirty seconds or less. [Defamer]
• Meth abuse is on the rise in the workplace; finally, our economy is looking up! [USAT]
• From Academy Award winning to shilling toothbrushes in NYC, the rise and fall of Halle Berry. [OAN]
• The Voice's Tricia Romano loves Cock, whether it goes in the Hole or not. [VV]

A query from the Times on today's e-mail blast from ProfNet, the PR Newswire service to help journalists find sources:

Can't bear waiting until early August to learn what's on the cover of the traditionally ginormous September issues of the big monthly mags? Of course not. And that, friends, is why Women's Wear Daily has a media column.

Ask yourself, what's in a name?