We'd normally just tack this on as an update, but we feel the following clarification merits its own post (before too many more of you email us). Earlier, we posted an email from Eric Alterman in which he announced his need for a new assistant. Among Alterman's prerequisites for employment:

You are independent, efficient, grown-up, well-organized, and discrete.

To clarify, the use of "discrete" is not our typo. A successful applicant must be comfortable with having his or her limbs scattered about the room.

Update: Alterman has just emailed to let us know that the position has been filled. You can stop amputating your left leg now.

You're Not Good Enough to Fetch Eric Alterman's Dry Cleaning [Gawker]