Yesterday, executives from most of America's biggest newspapers held a hush-hush meeting about the future of their dying industry. Isn't that basically, obviously, a huge violation of antitrust laws, probably? No, thanks to the corporate freedom-supporting Supreme Court!

Sometimes the New York Post inches over the line from "amusing" into "despicable." Okay, not sometimes—all the time. Today, in particular! Sandra Boss' husband lied to her, conned her for years, and then kidnapped their child. So Sandra should be thrown in jail, according to the Post.

Roman Catholic priestess and White House correspondent for the Macon-based Georgia Informer Brenda Lee just wanted to give Barack Obama a letter telling him to stand strong against the gays. Why did the Secret Service pervs have to do her like that?

Right this minute, executives from the largest newspaper companies in America are meeting in a hotel outside of Chicago to discuss how to "Monetize Content." Is this the first step towards a (necessary) industry-wide move to charge for online content? And, uh, is this legal?

Ha, noted radical political journal Sports Illustrated is running these ads in South Africa insinuating that SI is very, you know, radical, and political. A big black panther for the '68 Olympics, Fight the Power! How did SI really cover that story? We will show you!

In your misty Thursday media column: no bunnies for Richard Branson, no viewers for NBC, a shot at enlightenment for America's dumb children, and—finally—a classy new porn mag:

Roxana Saberi, the Iranian-American freelance journalist who was freed this month after being (bizarrely) sentenced to eight years in prison in Iran for "spying," gave her first real interview today, to NPR. Her ordeal sounds even worse than you might have imagined:

• Say it ain't so, Sue: WNBC may be planning to drop the 5 o'clock newscast, Live at Five, in favor of a "lifestyle show" of some sort. [NYO]
• Richard Branson does not want to buy Playboy. Sorry, Hugh. [Reuters]
• NBC ratings hit a new low last week. [AP/HuffPo]
• Naturally, NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker painted a much rosier picture when he appeared on stage at the D7 conference yesterday. [ATD]
• Were you aware that some magazines Photoshop their pics? It's true! [NYT]
• If MGM doesn't come up with some cash quick, it could go bankrupt. [THR]
• Page Six's Paula Froelich took time from promoting her new novel, Mercury in Retrograde, to kick Michael Wolff's ass across the room. [BlackBook]

As expected, Time Warner CEO Jeff Bewkes announced this morning that it plans to spin off AOL, a move that puts the final nail in the coffin of one of the most disastrous mergers in history. But if the mechanics of the deal strike you a little too complicated, The Times Bits blog has outlined it in easy-to-understand celebrity tabloid terms:

Vice Magazine is trying to be the coolest magazine in the world and, simultaneously, the biggest bunch of sellouts ever to walk the streets of Williamsburg, in an effort to see if it's actually possible to bend over backwards far enough to give a blowjob to oneself.

Staff favorite Tom McGeveran has been named the *interim* successor to departing New York Observer editor Peter Kaplan. Hopefully the paper lasts long enough for him to become the full-time successor.

Nina Devlin was a partner with fancy financial PR firm Brunswick Group—which was great for her husband, who took information about the deals that Nina was working on and used it to help his friends make millions through illegal insider trading. Now Nina has a new job. With Edelman!

Two more New Yorkers with swine flu have died. Why isn't there a fresh round of PANIC? Because it looks like the worst is over. And we're not all dead!

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: Richard Branson's allegedly stalking Playboy, dead mag foto fun, more ominous signs on the NYT's Social Media Editor, and gag outsourcing is the new "let's hope it doesn't turn into real outsourcing":

• Rumor has it Richard Branson may be interested in buying Playboy. [ChiTrib]
• Two Boston Globe unions have agreed to concessions with the NYT Co. [E&P]
• Why did the Times pick Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim to invest in the paper instead of David Geffen? It seems publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. was "worried about Geffen's ambition to take over the company." [AllThingsD]
• Mayor Bloomberg plans to introduce legislation in Albany to extend the city's popular—but broke—film/TV tax credit program. [THR]
• Tom McGeveran has been named interim editor of the New York Observer. He'll take over for Peter Kaplan, whose last day will be this Friday. [NYO]

Is there a plot to deny Michael Wolff airtime on CNBC? For the second time in the last month, a technical glitch ended up interrupting one of his appearances, although we can't imagine viewers minded the fact that his image disappeared behind a blue screen for a minute or so while he droned on about Jon & Kate Plus 8, a show he explains at the outset he's never even seen before. (That's his shoulder sticking out on the right side of the photo.) The video is here; skip ahead to the 2:45 mark to see Wolff's magical disappearing act in action. [CNBC, previously]

This week, a former New York Times editor revealed that the NYT got handed the Watergate storywell before the Washington Post had it, but they just...forgot about it, or something. Now the full scope of this foolishness is coming out; the comedy of errors continues to this day:

The New York Post cannot contain its excitement about our new Hispanic Supreme Court nominee! The millions of Hispanic people in NYC are encouraged to pick up a copy right away, and celebrate! The white rednecks of NYC are also encouraged to pick up a copy, for routine conservative sneering.

Today the New York Times named Jennifer Preston its first-ever "Social Media Editor." We speculated she would do comical stuffy-NYT-meets-freewheeling-internet activities like cracking down on newsroom Twitterers (and maybe trying out this "Twitter" herself?). We were correct:

In your suddenly Tuesday media column: Conde Nast moves its B-team, Larry Hackett despises humanity, and print is dead, along with baseball and apple pie and puppies: