Look, it is the blog of professional journalist Lu Parker, the new reporter-girlfriend of L.A.'s mayor. Top post: "This blog is by no means about me." It is about her abs. And her Monkey. [LuParker.com]

In your woozy Wednesday media column: multiple music magazines die, the Boston Globe thinks it's too tough to kill, Harvard newsies can't find jobs, Surface magazine gets a cheaper office, and a report from the newspaper conspiracy meeting:

• Stephen Colbert will be Newsweek's guest editor next week. [NYO]
• Conan O'Brien's second Tonight Show dropped 30 percent from Monday's record-setting premiere, although that was probably to be expected. [THR]
• For the third straight month, MSNBC bested CNN in the cable news ratings. Fox News remained in first place, as usual. [Daily Finance]
• More bad news for CNN: Campbell Brown returned from maternity leave this week and immediately returned to fourth-place in the ratings. [THR]
• A new Harvard Business Review study reveals that 10 percent of Twitter users account for more than 90 percent of Twitter messages sent. [AdAge]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 is still generating obscene ratings, sadly. [AP]

Newsweek has enlisted Stephen Colbert as a guest editor in a desperate attempt for "buzz." It's totally working! Because we have obtained, via a publicist, via Newsweek's marketing team, a direct (outrageous!) quote from Colbert about his upcoming fake editorialism:

Newspapers have been having problems, and whatnot. Why have they not asked Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter's advice sooner? Despite this error, Carter has deigned to stop having amazing sex for a few minutes to tell you how to save newspapers:

The outlook wasn't brilliant for Young Sulzberger that day; His stories had been boring, tho' his wit's on full display; But then an editor cried out, "AG! Come earn your pay!"; "Your presence is required at the baseball game—hey hey!"

Hot TV reporter-screwing L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is screwing another TV reporter! In the most literal sense. But not in the figurative sense, because her news station is just fine with the mayor-screwing thing! L.A.'s ridiculous in all ways:

As of this morning there are 171 news articles about the totally harmless rat snake—a popular type of pet—that was found in a Bronx apartment. It did not eat anyone, yet.

From Steve Fishman's chat with Vanity Fair editor-in-chief (and restaurateur) Graydon Carter in this week's issue of New York:

• Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show debuted last night. The reviews were mixed, although he did very well in the ratings, not surprisingly. [Variety, THR]
• Playboy Enterprises named Scott Flanders as its CEO yesterday. [NYP]
• Lawyers for author J.D. Salinger have filed suit against an author who is publishing a book billed as a sequel to The Catcher in the Rye. [NYT]
• Five magazines—Popular Photography, Flying, Boating, Sound & Vision and American Photo—have been sold to Bonnier Corp. by Hachette. [Crain's]
• Paris Hilton and producer Michael Hirschorn have teamed up to bring a version of Paris Hilton's My New BFF to Dubai. Yes, Dubai. No joke. [Variety]

Beau Breedlove, scandalous gay lover of Portland's mayor, tried to get a restraining order against an Oregonian reporter who was covering him. That's been denied! The judge basically laughed him out of court. But he looked spectacular at his hearing! So, partial win for Beau Breedlove. [Romenesko]

In your merry Monday media column: Hearst Magazines is not dying quite so quickly as others (news!), the New York Times wants more of your money, a thing happens at 'Morning Joe,' Sun-Times people invite Bill Rancic to suck it, and more:

• Conan O'Brien makes his debut this evening as Tonight Show host. [BN, EW]
• Bravo is ditching its tagline "Watch what happens" and replacing it with "By Bravo." We'll just have to watch and see what happens with that. [AdAge]
• More on the recent ratings meltdown at CNN. [Politico]
• The Times Magazine will be 9 percent smaller starting in two weeks. [E&P]
• DirectTV chief Chase Carey is in talks to join News Corp. as Rupert Murdoch's second-in command, taking over for Peter Chernin. [THR, BN]
• Disney's animated pic Up was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]
• New York's cover story on Condé Nast, in case you missed it. [NYM]

Conde Nast has always been able to afford the luxury of publishing money-losing magazines, thanks the other half of their parent company—the Newhouse newspaper chain—subsidizing them with cash. Those days are gone. Now, a cable company is all that keeps Conde afloat. And the Newhouse family's getting antsy:

Former co-host of The View, Lisa Ling, is hitting the press this week for the first time since her sister, Laura (pictured, right) and fellow Current TV journalist Euna Lee were detained by the North Korean government. Their trial's on June 4th, and things aren't looking good.

Cinematically-named and pornily-inclined 18-year-old Beau Breedlove, who had a fling with the mayor of Portland, is back in the news, thank god! He would like a reporter to stop stalking him, please:

Someone placed a personal ad in the Warren (Penn.) Times-Observer calling for Barack Obama's assassination. But to understand the ad you have to know history and stuff, so no one at the paper really got it. It's kind of like The Da Vinci Code.

In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else:

• It's not just TLC that is happy about the Jon & Kate nonsense. Putting them on the cover of Us six times in a row has been a "windfall" for Janice Min. [NYP]
• Get ready to pay for People.com: Time Warner chief Jeff Bewkes says the company may begin charging for access to online magazine content. [AP]
• With book sales plunging and attendance down at BookExpo America, the mood in the publishing industry is kinda gloomy at the moment. [NYT]
• Keith Olbermann is in hot water again. The waterboarding video on his show last week was staged, it turns out, and MSNBC was made aware of that fact before the show, but they went ahead with it anyway. [Gawker]

I have no idea! It's just an eye-grabbing headline. Like Michael Wolff's own headline on his onanistic daily column today: "Is Sonia Sotomayor Gay?" Michael Wolff has no idea. But he made you click, ha!