masturbation

Work of Art's Miles is Excited to See Jaclyn Masturbate

Lissette Aguilar · 07/28/10 11:39PM

In another team challenge, the six remaining artists were asked to create pieces based on "opposing themes." In this clip, master-manipulator Miles convinces his teammate Jaclyn to take nude pictures of herself masturbating to represent their male/female theme.

Have You Seen This Masturbating Gentleman?

Maureen O'Connor · 07/26/10 04:30PM

Riding a Brooklyn-bound 4 train, amateur photographer Kate Black noticed a man "pitching a tent" and "thrusting his hips" in ladies' faces. Thinking quickly, Kate photographed him, then declared a jihad against the pervert on her Flickr page.

Handjobs for Handicrafts

Daniel Barnum-Swett · 04/16/10 04:25PM

A pottery demonstration takes a perverse turn for the worse when the instructor unintentionally teaches masturbation technique in the guise of ceramics skills.

College Paper Uproar: Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation

Hamilton Nolan · 10/06/09 02:37PM

The editor of Towson University's college newspaper has resigned amid scandal. Sexy scandal! The Towson University community was just not ready for sexy mutual masturbation talk. What? It's natural and human. Masturbation 69 orgasm dildo masturbation masturbation. What? Be mature.

Study: Jerking Off Now Will Kill You Later

Hamilton Nolan · 01/26/09 11:48AM

Will scientists ever stop destroying our lives? We're sorry to report, men, that according to a new study, masturbating throughout your 20s and 30s will totally give you cancer.

Ernest Borgnine's Secret To Aging Well: Self Abuse

Richard Lawson · 08/14/08 11:00AM

Poseidon Adventure thespian Ernest Borgnine is 91 years old and hale and hearty and writing books. What's the secret to his vim and vigor, the bozos at Fox & Friends wanted to know. So Borgy leaned in close and whispered-apparently unaware of that newfangled "micro phonic" technology-"I masturbate a lot." Then everyone's heads exploded. Including Borgy's. (Do you get the gross joke that I just made?) Clip is above. [via BWE]

Masturbation At New York Times Alleged By Super-Friendly Copy Editor

Hamilton Nolan · 08/11/08 11:17AM

Let's just put it out there: copy editors are vaguely creepy. There they sit in their corner, poring over pages while all the reporters and (other) editors are doing the real, sexy work of journalism. What makes someone want to be a copy editor in the first place? Could it be... sexual perversion? (Kidding of course! We love copy editors, platonically). Charles Cretella, a veteran New York Times copy editor, is now going to court over a sexual harassment case that centers on-you guessed it-a fellow copy editor, who was masturbating at work. Goodness. The strange details: Cretella says the Times didn't give him a promotion because he was falsely charged with sexually harassing a new 33-year-old copy editor that Cretella was training. Very enthusiastically:

Em & Lo Need Some Masturbation Advice

Hamilton Nolan · 07/23/08 03:34PM

See, this is why I will always stand behind Profnet as my preferred place for reporters to find sources for bizarre stories, no matter what cheaper competition comes along: because of Profnet's unparalleled sophomoric joke opportunities! For example, are you an expert on masturbation and all of its ins-and-outs, ha? Well "Em" of "Em & Lo," sex book authors and your source for "all things love, sex, and star related," wants to talk to you right away! And she'll happily promote your masturbation projects in return:

Heeb Magazine Ad Will Make You Laugh Hysterically, Throw Up Everywhere

Maggie · 01/16/08 04:34PM

Ever indulged in a little autoeroticism to images of Sarah Silverman or Natalie Portman and then wished with all your heart and soul that you might be rid of your cursed goy-tell foreskin, just so they might consider, ever so fleetingly, nailing you? Can't say that I have, per se, but the latest promo ad at Jewish hipster bible Heeb Magazine will show you the way. NSFW, if you think your boss might be uncomfortable with a WASPY 16-year-old hacking into his Gentile genitalia. Though really, what finally puts him over the edge might be more disturbing.