masturbation

Comment of the Day: Thou Shalt Not Masturbate

Leah Beckmann · 11/16/11 06:30PM

Today we learned that some teachers get away with murder. Or at the very least, masturbation. And the fact that this teacher was teaching at a Christian school? Fuggedabouit! It's the perfect crime. One commenter at least, was paying attention during his Sunday school lessons and was able to make a nice little Biblical reference.

Dude, Your Wife Was Not Raped By an 'Invisible Man'

Max Read · 09/28/11 06:31PM

Hello, unidentified Malaysian dude who lives in Bintulu, Sarawak! We read with interest the news that you had contacted police, hoping they'd arrest the "invisible man" who was—according to a medium—"us[ing] black magic to take away [your] wife's 'soul' and rape her."

Twitter Users Masturbate More

Maureen O'Connor · 04/19/11 12:51PM

The statistical wizards at OKCupid have once again analyzed the sexual mores of their users, and reached two vital conclusions: Twitter users masturbate more, and vegetarians are more likely to enjoy giving head.

Tracy Morgan on Sarah Palin: 'Good Masturbation Material'

Max Read · 01/28/11 03:16AM

Did NBA on TNT's Kenny Smith think he was in for some lighthearted comedic banter when he asked 30 Rock's Tracy Morgan "Tina Fey or Sarah Palin?" Because instead he got Morgan telling him that Palin is "good masturbation material."

James Franco Is a Chronic Masturbator

Maureen O'Connor · 09/07/10 02:11PM

"I do masturbate a lot. I don't know why," James Franco tells the Hollywood Reporter, describing the rationale behind having a "four- or five-time day," which he apparently does with great frequency.