masturbation
Mark Wahlberg Is Off His Rocker Again, Maybe Because He Never Masturbates
Maureen O'Connor · 01/18/12 04:10PMFucksaw U Students Warned of Shower Masturbator
Max Read · 11/29/11 12:10AMIn May, Northwestern University cancelled "Fucksaw 101," officially known as "Human Sexuality," over its infamous live demonstration of a woman being fucked. Or sawed. Or whatever. But now, deviancy once again haunts the sex-crazed Northwestern campus, as this recent campus-wide email, sent to us by several tipsters, proves:
Comment of the Day: Thou Shalt Not Masturbate
Leah Beckmann · 11/16/11 06:30PMToday we learned that some teachers get away with murder. Or at the very least, masturbation. And the fact that this teacher was teaching at a Christian school? Fuggedabouit! It's the perfect crime. One commenter at least, was paying attention during his Sunday school lessons and was able to make a nice little Biblical reference.
Teacher's Been Masturbating Behind the Podium This Whole Time
Hamilton Nolan · 11/16/11 10:11AMStarbucks Has a Serial Bathroom Masturbator
Hamilton Nolan · 10/27/11 11:13AMDude, Your Wife Was Not Raped By an 'Invisible Man'
Max Read · 09/28/11 06:31PMPolygamist Sex Freak Masturbates 15 Times a Day in Jail
Maureen O'Connor · 08/10/11 11:18AMOsama Bin Laden Had a Porn Stash for Masturbating Islamically
John Cook · 05/13/11 12:37PMInvestigators recovered a "fairly extensive" cache of "modern, electronically recorded" pornography from Osama bin Laden's compound, according to Reuters. Considered in concert with the fact that he also reportedly had natural boner juice on hand, one can reasonably conclude that bin Laden spent the balance of his time on the run jackin' it.
Twitter Users Masturbate More
Maureen O'Connor · 04/19/11 12:51PMMasturbating Man Arrested for Stealing Underwear from High School Locker Room
Brian Moylan · 03/25/11 05:34PMPeople are into some crazy stuff, but John Gallagher, 19, was arrested for breaking into his old high school in Missouri, stealing boys' underwear from their lockers, and masturbating on them. He was charged with burglary and unlawfully entering a high school. Being stuck in the past and a general pervert aren't crimes yet, which is just sort of sad.
Anti-Gay Pastor Busted Masturbating in Public
Brian Moylan · 03/01/11 03:04PMTracy Morgan on Sarah Palin: 'Good Masturbation Material'
Max Read · 01/28/11 03:16AMDid NBA on TNT's Kenny Smith think he was in for some lighthearted comedic banter when he asked 30 Rock's Tracy Morgan "Tina Fey or Sarah Palin?" Because instead he got Morgan telling him that Palin is "good masturbation material."