Vanity Fair columnist and public intellectual Christopher Hitchens is a twice-married straight man. In his boyhood, however, he had torrid affairs and circle jerked with male classmates. A leaked excerpt from Hitchens' forthcoming memoir documents necessary bisexuality in horny teens.

Gay prep school sex is, of course, a frequently joked-about trope for boarding schools. (Especially British ones.) But seeing a man who once chronicled the resolutely straight-man-ickiness of his pubes, pores, and back hair describe gay childhood romance tenderly, and the politics of boyhood boning seriously, is a thing to behold. In memoir Hitch-22, Hitchens says the combination of raging teenage hormones and an "all-male school featuring communal showers, communal sleeping arragements, [and] communal lavatories" frequently gave way to orgies. Hitch-22 also describes gay adult sex with Tories, but here, we will merely explore the mating rituals of bicurious British youth.


In this excerpt, Hitchens explains how the horniness of teenagers is a force greater than sexual orientation. Click any image to enlarge.





Hitchens was a pretty, "girlish" boy, making him popular with older boys. In this excerpt he explains how this led to myriad sex experiences—consensual and nonconsensual.





At his school, the sexual pecking order required younger boys to submit to older boys, thereby allowing a senior named Peter Raper to ruin Hitchens' "white-hot" romance with a young peer. In this excerpt, Hitchens aches for his long-lost love, and describes how school disciplinarians handled the oversexed teen masses.




Same-sex advances taught Hitchens—who once dedicated 2800 words to Why Women Aren't Funny—to understand the fairer sex and to be suspicious of "family values" politicians.




Basically, Christopher Hitchens owes his entire career to prep school wank sessions and a sadistic bully named Peter Raper. [Pic via]