There's money in them thar tweens, and Forbes knows it. The magazine has just published its Rich Tween list, a ranked list of moneymakers who appeal to the elusive eight-to-14 demographic that is like, so over Spongebob. Coming in at #1 with $25 million is Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe, who had middle school playgrounds abuzz with his daring take on Equus (coming to Broadway this fall!). But wait! Could a precocious teen starlet have tied him for the pole position? Where are the Olsens? The Jonases? The High School Musical-ites?

• Supposedly, Mary-Kate Olsen could get drawn back in to the Heath Ledger investigation "should new information become available... 'She's somebody they still have their eyes on.'" [The Awful Truth]

Days after implicating Mary-Kate Olsen but months after it began, the DEA inquiry into the death of Heath Ledger has finally wrapped, filing charges against exactly no one. Does it perhaps seem like the U.S. Attorney's Office spent an awful lot of time and money with nothing to show for it? According to TMZ, that's just the beginning — the gossip website alleges that DEA agents essentially used the Ledger investigation as an excuse to talk to supermodels, fly all over the country, and meet people from Hollywood:

• The federal probe into what exactly caused Heath Ledger's death has officially been closed. Which means Mary-Kate Olsen is off the hook, will not have to testify, and can return to her normal (or not-so-normal) life. [NYDN]

Mary-Kate Olsen WINS. Twice law-enforcement authorities have tried pressuring the dopey lil' actress into telling what she knows about the death of close personal friend Heath Ledger, and twice now she has successfully beaten them back — the only person connected to Ledger to successfully do so. Federal sources told first the Daily News and now the Post that U.S. prosecutors have withdrawn their investigation into the death of actor Ledger, forcing the Drug Enforcement Administration to drop demands to interview Olsen. That's a fairly humiliating retreat for an agency that just two days ago implied it would use a Grand Jury subpoena to force Olsen to tell what she knows after word leaked of frustration in its offices over Olsen's demands for immunity. Especially because the feds really did have a subpoena. Reports the News:

The recent taping of Bob Saget's Comedy Central Roast was bound to take a wrong turn sooner or later — sooner, in fact, if the comic's filthy inner circle evinced in The Aristocrats and other blue rooms over the years had anything to do with it. In fact, we'd bet dollars to donuts that the Gilbert Gottfried riff below was merely a mild, early pacesetter for an even more sordid night to come, which should roughly result in a seven-minute broadcast on Aug. 17 after the censors get a hold of it. We're told this clip is among those slashed, but really, aren't the Olsen Twin molestation gags we've been hearing about almost too easy under the circumstances? Would Candace Cameron jokes just be too on the nose? You tell us after the jump, and come on, Gil — don't get soft on us now.

• If nothing else, all this new Heath Ledger investigation press may help generate interest, to the extent that's possible, in the Olsen Twins' coffee table book in which they interview their influences. [Scoop - third item]

• Mary-Kate Olsen's lawyer said she had nothing to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger's home or his body. The feds don't seem to be entirely satisfied, though, because they've now planning to get a subpoena to force Mary-Kate to testify. [NYP]

The Associated Press now has its own law-enforcement source stating that Mary-Kate Olsen is demanding immunity before she will talk with federal agents investigating the January death of actor Heath Ledger, as the Post reported this morning. The immunity request is now all but confirmed. Olsen's attorney didn't bother to deny it in a statement addressing a number of other questions raised by the Post story, such as whether Olsen helped Ledger procure OxyContin:

Uncle Jesse would be very disappointed: according to the New York Post, Mary-Kate Olsen is refusing to speak (wait, they talk?) with federal investigators looking into the death of Heath Ledger — that is, until she receives immunity from prosecution. It seems the feds are making inquiries to determine when and from who Ledger obtained the drugs that may have led to his death, and Olsen (who, as you'll recall, was the first person called when Ledger's masseuse discovered the body) is the only one who isn't talking:

• Kate Moss has introduced her daughter Lila to the exclusive perks of the fashion A-list: Hanging out with a bronzed, sweaty Marc Jacobs and his gay posse on a yacht in the Balearics. [Pop Sugar]

In the heated days of confusion and mourning immediately following the January death of Heath Ledger, many of the actor's admirers loudly proclaimed it absurd to raise questions about the role played by the actor's friend Mary-Kate Olsen in his death and aftermath. New York police concluded their investigation into Ledger's death without even interviewing the elfish young actress, even though, as the Post repeatedly pointed out, she was told of Ledger's death before emergency responders and even though her bodyguards may have arrived at his apartment just before paramedics, who Olsen did not bother to call. Having stayed on the story, the Post today reports that federal drug agents are pressing Olsen hard to cooperate in their investigation into how Ledger obtained the powerful painkiller OxyContin without a prescription — and into what happened to the bottle:

• Mary-Kate Olsen is the last person federal investigators want to question before they close the Heath Ledger case. But the 4-foot-11, 90-pounder is refusing to talk unless she's granted immunity from prosecution. [NYP]

• Vanity Fair's "International Best-Dressed List" (international meaning Americans, a few aristo/celeb Brits and random Eurotrash/royals) isn't exactly controversial, but listees like Carla Bruni, Ivanka Trump, Michelle Obama, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matt Lauer, Kanye West and Julian Schnabel can feel pleased (or even more pleased) when they look in the mirror today. [VF]

• Kyle MacLachlan and Desiree Gruber are officially parents. The Desperate Housewives actor and Project Runway executive producer had a son named Callum Lyon MacLachlan on Friday. [Us]

Silly Kirsten Dunst. Temporarily living outside of her natural celeb-friendly West coast habitat where any late-night messiness is handily kept on the DL by celebrity-catering club warlords, the recently rehabbed star is currently staying in New York while filming All Good Things. And the many sightings sent in by helpful Manhattanites haven’t exactly painted Dunst as the soberific poster child perfected of late by Miss Lindsay Lohan. The NY Post chimes in today reporting that Dunst continued her boy-crazy habits of yore by making out with the DJ at the celeb-infested Beatrice Inn two nights ago. But a Defamer tipster had the pleasure of spotting Kirsten last night at the same bar, and rather than cozying up to the same DJ, the actress spent the entire night flirting, following, and eventually frisking another Beatrice regular: that talented thespian, Josh Hartnett. Details on what our tipster witnessed, and which Olsen twin watched the romance blossom from afar, after the jump.

• Seasoned jetsetter Diane von Furstenberg plans to take the angst out of packing with her new cruise collection La Petite Valise: "Packing is the key to everything. It can be painful to do it properly and keep it light, but afterwards you'll be so happy, so proud." It also helps if you can afford to travel with an entourage of eight assistants. [Telegraph]

The upcoming issue of Star breathlessly reports that Spencer Pratt Attack ringleader and excellent on-screen kisser Mary-Kate Olsen might be headed back to the floral pastures of celebrity rehab any day now. The mag's sources cite a quasi-recent “collapse” outside an LA club, ongoing depression over her “lover” Heath Ledger’s sudden death, and brewing tension between MK and her more low-key twin, Ashley. But, as we pointed out earlier this month, the twinset’s more rebellious (and interesting) half is on a roll. After appearing on her first Elle cover solo, starring in a critically praised indie movie and, of course, teaming up with David Letterman in a campaign to destroy everyone’s most hated reality villain, Mary-Kate hasn’t shown any signs of crumbling. We took a closer look at this alleged collapse, the odds that Ledger and the itty bitty billionaire were in any way involved romantically, just how grave the tiny twosome’s differences are, and came up with three reasons why we don’t buy it.

• Billionaire mogul Bruce Wasserstein is leaving his youthful, second wife Claude for an even more youthful "Asian beauty," whom he has been introducing to friends as his girlfriend. According to the Daily News, this practice of old, white men stepping out with younger Asian chicks might just be a trend! [Rush & Molloy]

• Is Madonna have a secret romance with Alex Rodriguez? The two have been spending late nights together at her apartment and they've been spotted working out together, too. Rodriguez's wife Cynthia can't be pleased by any of this. [Us]