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Days after implicating Mary-Kate Olsen but months after it began, the DEA inquiry into the death of Heath Ledger has finally wrapped, filing charges against exactly no one. Does it perhaps seem like the U.S. Attorney's Office spent an awful lot of time and money with nothing to show for it? According to TMZ, that's just the beginning — the gossip website alleges that DEA agents essentially used the Ledger investigation as an excuse to talk to supermodels, fly all over the country, and meet people from Hollywood:

Sources connected with the Heath Ledger investigation say the Drug Enforcement Administration set a new low for starf**king.

People who have talked to TMZ off the record are now willing to go on record — still anonymously — about one of the most bizarre DEA power grabs ever. How's this for starters ... no one we've spoken with connected with the case can point to a single DEA case where a massive investigation was launched over an accidental death in which no criminality was even hinted at. We know the DEA went all over the country, in one case tracking down a guy in California who smoked a joint with Ledger in the '90s, telling him he had to testify in a Grand Jury probe. And how's this for chutzpah ... the DEA told the guy he would have to pay his own way to NYC to testify before the Grand Jury!

Still, that errant joint smoker was hardly the most obscure witness tagged by the DEA; agents interviewed not just high-profile targets like Michelle Williams and Helena Christiansen but also the shirt from Brokeback Mountain, a guy who bought a ticket to The Four Feathers, and Julia Stiles. Finding nothing of value, the agents hung out long enough to see The Dark Knight in IMAX at The Bridge, eventually concluding their investigation when the pimply sixteen-year-old at concessions was unable to determine where exactly the Joker got those wonderful toys.