Journos Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher had a grand time hosting the Wall Street Journal's D Conference, or at least they've learned to fake it. Reporter Dan Farber has a write-up at ZDNet, and he kindly lent his event photos. Here they are, misinterpreted.

Oh Martha, Martha, Martha. Just when her problems seemed to be over — a handmade poncho heals all wounds! — the long arm of the law comes back for a bitch-slap. Today, Thursday, is the deadline for Martha to respond to a three-year-old civil suit filed against her by the Securities and Exchange Commission for insider trading of 4,000 shares of ImClone in 2001. Having maintained her innocence on the same criminal charges, one would suppose that she'll take the same stand for this round, and trial preparations would begin.

We were pleased over the weekend to notice at our local magazine stand the first issue of Martha Stewart's new Blueprint magazine. And we would have been even more pleased if she'd been able to hire some premier copy editors for her premiere issue.

• Details missed its rate base on eight of 10 issues in 2005. Fun. [Ad Age]
• Martha Stewart launches Blueprint today in a bid to reach younger readers. There should probably be a joke about Alexis here, but we can't think of one. [NYP]
• Daily Candy remains for sale. [NYM]
• Punch Sulzberger has allegedly said that he'll read the Times on the computer when he can take a computer into the bathroom with him. Now, apparently, he can. [NYT]
• Kurt Andersen thinks we're in a tech bubble again. How does he know? Because Michael Wolff wants in. [NYM]
• Simon Dumenco answers the questions you didn't ask, including whether he has a clothing line and what his jingle sounds like. [Ad Age]
• Existentially speaking, who is Brian Williams? [MW]
• NYT M.E. Jill Abramson's grandfather could have invested early in Paramount Pictures but didn't. [NYSun]

In the Times today, there's an article on Japan's "empress of domesticity," Harumi Kurihara. Kurihara is in the States to debut her first English-language cookbook, Harumi's Japanese Cooking, a natural expansion of her Japanese brand which includes "television cooking shows, housewares stores, cookbooks and food magazines" that "have propelled her to rock-star status in Japan." Sound familiar? Of course it does: The Martha is multiplying, like an evil, apron-wearing mogwai.

CNBC's Battlebots.

The spat between Donald Trump and Martha Stewart may be quickly fading from media relevance, but leave it to the Donald to exercise even the smallest platform in order to drown out his naysayers. He's taken the argument to his Trump Blog, where he reiterates his disappointment with Stewart's "ingratitude" regarding her failed version of The Apprentice while reminding readers that his own, wonderfully rated show is now launching into its fifth season. Navel-gazing just like a real blogger — bravo, Donald!

After crapping its pants to the tune of $78.8 million in 2005, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia finally had broke a long-running losing streak with fourth quarter gains of $2.9 million. Ad pages for Martha Stewart Living were up 133% in the fourth quarter; those for Everyday Food were up 30% for all of 2005.

At last, Team Stewart has something to cheer about in the ongoing battle royale between Martha and Donald Trump. On Alexis Stewart's Sirius radio talk show last night, mom called in from her office, and the two had some fun getting a few below-the-belt shots at the Great Combovered One:

• Winona Ryder was in on the JT Leroy hoax and even concocted a detailed story about how she met Leroy for Vanity Fair's profile of him in 2003. Bitch! You are now officially a Fake Actress, Winona, and we don't care how pixie-cute you are. [Page Six]
• The battle of words and egos between Donald Trump and Martha Stewart continues; now Martha's daughter Alexis is getting involved. The two talked ill of the Donald's derriere and its relation to his silver spoon. [R&M]
• Morrissey the terrorist? Think about it. He's got the perfect cover, but those eyes are dark. Too dark. [Contact Music]
• Some cracknut named Larry Garrison claims to "own" the Natalee Holloway story, but he also claims to be "a journalist, actor, producer, motivational speaker and White House media consultant." So, you know. [Lowdown]

Who hasn't, at one time or another, regretted leaving an irate voicemail, firing off an angry e-mail, or issuing an open letter to the media viciously lambasting a longtime friend for ruining a golden reality show spin-off opportunity? Not Donald Trump, however, in whose universe cooler heads never prevail. The Donald follows up his blisteringly personal attack on Martha Stewart not with a reparative olive branch, but with an interview with Newsweek.com today that quickly turns into yet another ad hominem Martha attack, even more vitriolic than the first:

• Martha Stewart disses Donald Trump when discussing her failed version of The Apprentice; the Donald fires back with an open letter promising a world of pain. Battle of the inflated egos; let's get these two behemoths scheduled for a cage match. [Reuters]
• Morrissey used to love Maureen Dowd — until he found out she ate meat. Maybe that's why she's still single. [True to You]
• As far as we know, New York Times bestselling authors don't really troll Craigslist for ghostwriting gigs. Actually, maybe James Frey does. [Craigslist]
• Mag marketing from hell. [Big and Sharp]
• UK Maxim editor Greg Gutfeld introduces the Huffington Post style guide, Aryan Nation edition. [HuffPo]

Like Godzilla taking sucker swats at Mothra high above the New York skyline as innocent pedestrians run screaming for their lives, Manhattan's two towering media titans, Donald Trump and Martha Stewart, are embroiled in a gigantic public battle over the blame for the failure of her version of The Apprentice. Martha arguably threw down the gardening gloves first, with comments in the current Newsweek stating that she thought Donald was supposed to be fired at the start of her season: "Having two Apprentices was as unfair to him as it was unfair to me. But Donald really wanted to stay on." But it was Trump's open letter response an unleashed torrent of seething resentment that even makes reference to her crimes that elevated it from a good-natured, competitive spat between friends and into the realm of disturbing personal attack. People reprints it in its entirety, but here are some highlights:

• Martha Stewart is planning a new mag, this one for "modern, multitasking" women aged 25 to 45. Most significant: In a shocking bout of narcissism-suppression, it's called "Blueprint," not "Martha Stewart Blueprint." [NYP]
• Sumner Redstone — who may or may not have been in a senile flight of nonsense when he said it — claims to dream of combining CNN and his CBS News. Just like Steve Brill suggested, oh, seven years ago. [B&C]
• Dana Stevens's take on Vargas and Woodruff: Fine, competent, but definitely not PJ. [Slate]
• Jonathan Dahl is the new editor of SmartMoney. [NYT]

'Member back to September 2004? When Martha Stewart decided she wanted to go to prison right away, rather than waiting to see how an appeal would go? When she said she just wanted "to put this nightmare behind me," though of course she was sure she'd be vindicated on appeal?

• Impatient with growing public sentiment that she's a whorelet, Jessica Simpson considers leaving her new PR man Rob Shuter — as if there's some magic flack out there who can erase the pain of collagen. [Lowdown]
• His magazine gets killed — AGAIN — and how does Maer Roshan cope? With a vacation to Morocco. When the eventual Radar 3.0 gets murdered, maybe Roshan can buy a yacht and cruise back and forth between Capri and St. Tropez. [Page Six]
• Source co-owner Benzino (aka Raymond Scott) wasn't thrilled when Ozone mag dubbed him the year's Most Successful Extortionist. His professional solution: Call Ozone owner Julia Beverly and call her a "ugly bush pig slutmonkey whore." Which is exactly how we'd react. [Gatecrasher]
• Moments before the live NBC broadcast of Martha Stewart's Apprentice finale, a 6-year-old child declared the winner, forcing a sequestering of the finalist and (perhaps) a changed outcome. This is, of course, exactly how it works in a real-life boardroom — if you're in fucking Baby Boom. [Page Six]

Great news for the six of you who watch Martha with any degree of regularity: Stewart's syndicated daytime talk show has inexplicably been renewed for another season. This is, of course, a stunning development for pie-lovers everywhere.

We are still scratching our heads as to what went wrong with The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. For starters, the boardroom showdowns -on The Donald's version, they're a three-ring Circus Maximus of campy, vicious (and sometimes sex-educational) entertainment -were about as compelling as watching dough rise. Part of the blame must fall to Martha's daughter Alexis, whose advisor role was a bland and sedated phone-in affair. As it turns out, however, this chick's got pluck! She was just saving all the good stuff for her own Sirius radio show:

• Well, well, well! Look who's on the cover of the latest People magazine: It's the family Federletus! You know, didn't OK! change their Britney-Kevin cover story and bend over backwards with their edit, just to get those baby pics? Yeah, we think they did. Sucks to be them. [People]
• We're thankful for our Adderall abuse, Michael T. of Motherfucker is thankful for his cocaine abuse, and Fancy of Fannypack is thankful for his Asian teen escort abuse. [VV]
• The Holiday Market eats Union Square alive. But the little crafts are so cute, no? [Manhattan Offender]
• The Real David Cross offers his thoughts on the Fake David Cross. [Radar]
• NASA still plagued with pressing dildo problems. [CNN]
• Is that a VULVA on the cover of New York mag, or are you just happy to see us? [Scanner]
• Martha Stewart struggles with whether or not to name her new kitten "Keira Knightley." Seriously. [MarthaStewart]
• The Golden Girls are alive, well, and shilling in Chelsea. It's just not the same without Estelle Getty, however. [OAN]

• Martha Stewart's next mag, Blueprint, will cater to 20-somethings buying their first homes. God, might we actually have to read it? [AdAge]
• Talking Points Memo'er Josh Marshall hires two bloggers to report for him. Bloggers who have to report?! Huh? Wha? [NY Sun]
• Craig of Craiglist to launch journalism project. Which is good, because he's slowly killing newspapers by taking their classifieds, anyway. [Guardian]
• Total mag ad pages up ever so slightly in 2005. Woo-hoo! Not dead yet! [MIN]
• Disaggregated media content confuses Simon Dumenco, who generously offers to disaggregate his column. [AdAge]
• Greg Mitchell says John Tierney is full of shit. [E&P]
• NBC Universal to close Trio, leaving one fewer cable network you don't watch. [Hollywood Reporter via MSNCB]