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At last, Team Stewart has something to cheer about in the ongoing battle royale between Martha and Donald Trump. On Alexis Stewart's Sirius radio talk show last night, mom called in from her office, and the two had some fun getting a few below-the-belt shots at the Great Combovered One:

"Donald is not a normal businessman," said Martha, speaking from her office. "Remember Donald was born with a silver spoon in his mouth."


"Or up his a-," sniped Alexis.

"He's a spoiled brat," agreed Martha.

Martha went on: "Guess who is replacing [Trump employee] Carolyn Kepcher on the next version of the show? His daughter Ivanka!"

"I feel sorry for her," said Alexis. "She seems like a nice girl. It must be hard to have such a freak for a father."

Told that shares of Martha Stewart Omnimedia had risen that day, Alexis wondered, "Do you think your stock is going up because Donald is talking about you?"

"No," replied Martha. "I don't think serious investors listen to Donald Trump, actually."

Signing off, Martha said she had to write a column for her magazine.

"Really?" Alexis asked, dryly. "You're not busy riding around town seeing if your name is polished properly on the front of all the buildings you don't really own?"

Now that Ivanka has been dragged into The Great War of America's Most Famous Meanies Addicted to Putting Their Names on Stuff, our hopes for a reconciliation seem to quickly be evaporating, and we brace ourselves for the ugliness to come. Expect Trump to revamp his signature Apprentice kiss-off phrase to the significantly less catchy "You remind me of Martha Stewart, and she's a moron, so you're fired!" and future Martha sequences devoted entirely to "needlepointing your own 'Donald Trump enjoys having sex with young boys'-tableau cushion cover."