Before Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for governor of California, he was busy impregnating "a longtime member of [his family's] household staff," according to a report in the Los Angeles Times and a statement from Schwarzenegger.

In his 87 years on Earth, Bello Maasaba has married 107 women. Currently he lives with 86 of them. What led Maasaba to ruin his life by surrounding himself with so many women like that?

Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels should have joined the presidential race by this point. Economic conservatives like him, he's beginning to mend fences with social conservatives, his close friend Haley Barbour won't run against him, and most importantly, the D.C. establishment glorifies him as a very serious, fiscally responsible Grown-Up. So what's the hang up? Mostly, he and his wife Cheri don't want to read long exposes about their unique marital history for the next two years. And certain other, shady candidates are trying to exploit this vulnerability and scare him off.

After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have separated. Shriver, a journalist and Kennedy family member, moved out of the couple's mansion a few weeks ago while the two "work on the future of [their] relationship."

The Navy is getting a special reward for shooting Osama Bin Laden: Gay marriage! Navy chaplains will be, officially, allowed to officiate same-sex marriages after Don't Ask Don't Tell ends this summer. The news came in a memo, which also covered the possibility of using base facilities for the events:

Tragically lucky British man Lee Knight's first wife tried to kill him by putting antifreeze in his curry. Knight's soon-to-be second wife took care of him after the poisoning. It's karma in action, with a dash of trading up!

The Royal Palace tells People that there will only be one ring at the Wedding Extravaganza of the Century next month, per the couple's wishes. Yes, no wedding band for Prince Willie. What do you think that means?

Time was that good salt-of-the-earth country folks never would get divorced. They'd just sit around, whittling and canning preserves and fantasizing about whittling down their awful spouse's dead body into tiny parts and putting those parts into jars and calling them "preserves," and fleeing to Brazil. They never would, though. They'd just think about.

In this troubled economy, many people are having a hard time getting a job. Though, most of those people probably aren't denied opportunities because of their marital status. Not so for Evangelical Christian clergy folk, some of whom are now speaking out about "singlism," job hiring discrimination against lonely single ministers.

At Crystal Cathedral—the monstrous southern California megachurch that went bankrupt last year despite being home to the blessed "Hour of Power" broadcast—the problems just keep on coming, as if god was not even listening to their prayers.

Have you seen this video yet, of musician Anna Grace's five-year-old sister explaining her (very smart) feelings about financial independence and marriage? She seems quite sharp! Certainly smarter than the YouTube commenters on the video, many of whom use the phrase "man-hating." (Update! She wants to be a comedian or a writer, but she "needs someone to Tweet" her.)

Jennifer Tapper, wife of ABC White House correspondent Jake Tapper, has given her husband the best gift of all for Valentine's Day: She joined Twitter. And tweeted at him. It is the love story of our time.

"I have to work this out with my wife." —Craigslist Congressman Christopher Lee, to Fox News.

Chelsea Clinton's husband, Marc Mezvinsky, has apparently left his hedge fund job to go skiing in Jackson Hole, Wyoming for "a few months." His wife, however, will visit him "every few weeks." Jeez, Chelsea, give the guy some space.

A Turkish man living in Germany fled to the local police station this week seeking protection from his wife, whose insatiable demands for sex have caused him to sleep on the couch for the past four years. Wacky, wacky stuff.

The 90-second message ends: ""Don't ever forget I love you, I love you so much, I love you with all my heart and I was going to ask you, don't answer, obviously you can't answer, but will you marry me?""

Today is Bóndadagur, "Husband's Day," when Icelandic wives feed their husbands "dried fish, smoked lamb, putrefied shark and soured blood and liver pudding along with other soured meat products, including ram testicles" as a token of their love.

Tonight, 30 Rock returned from its holiday break with the news that Jack and Liz had accidentally married each other—which turns into a hilarious tit-for-tat game for both of them. Inside, a video montage of the relevant scenes.

A study of 289 pairs of twins found that 'antisocial behavior' in men decreases after they get married. But also, nicer men get married first. Conclusion: if you want to date the nicest guy scientifically possible, date a married man.

That strange shifting you just felt in the ground? Elizabeth Edwards rolling over in her fresh grave. The National Enquirer reports John Edwards "proposed to Rielle Hunter. Apparently Elizabeth's children are already working on their escape pumpkin. [via HuffPo]