A Chicago woman called 911 and told the police her boyfriend was attacking her in an attempt "to scare him and have the police force him to marry her." Surprisingly, it didn't work, and now she's facing criminal charges.

Leon Walker, a 33 year-old Michigan computer technician, has been charged with a felony (and faces up to five years in prison) for using his wife's password to read her email. Well, he had a damn good reason.

84-year-old Hugh Hefner is getting married to 24-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris and, according to the old man's Twitter account: "This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory." So that basically means it's the happiest Christmas since last Christmas, right?

Today we looked at how your parents' divorce means you have to pay more for college. It's a sad fact, everyone seemed to agree. But one commenter had a pressing question that really deepened the issue.

When planning your dream wedding, do you fantasize about things like annoying trumpet players, bread piñatas attached to tree branches, and groomsmen falling into dumpsters? No? Well, in that case, you probably won't want to emulate these nuptials. Watch inside.

The constitutional challenge to California's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage begins tomorrow, in Perry v. Schwarzenegger, and cameras will be allowed in the courtroom for the first time. The proceedings are scheduled to last an hour. [NBC]

Attention, eligible bachelors: Actress Winona Ryder is looking for a husband. "I gotta bag me a husband!" she told Us Weekly, as a way of explaining her residence in San Francisco. So if you want to marry her, move there!

A young heterosexual British couple who wanted a legal commitment without all the brouhaha of a marriage has been denied a civil partnership, as only gays are eligible to apply for them in the UK. Separater and thus equaler?

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married at Westminster Abbey on Friday, April 29.

Tabloid sex-and-xenophobia commentator Andrea Peyser is, as we all know, America's chief booster of the concept of love. So it pains her to announce that Prince William and his slutty hussy bride-to-be are headed for The Big D (divorce).

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam that Iran's family planning program is "ungodly" and that girls should be getting married at 16, because the average Iranian woman gets married at 24 and there's "no reason for this."

Beverly Hills real estate investor George Saadian has been ordered to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife, Kathrin $2.4 million in damages after cheating and contracting herpes, which he promptly spread to her. Herpes really is the gift that keeps on giving!

What could go wrong with getting married in the beautiful Maldives? How about hiring a minister who calls you "infidel" and "swine" in a language you don't understand? Like, say, the poor unidentified couple in this video?

The United Arab Emirates' Supreme Court ruled today that a man can beat his wife and kids—as long as he leaves no visible marks.

It's good to be the president's polygamist half brother: "President Barack Obama's polygamist half brother in Kenya has married a woman who is more than 30 years younger than him." Expect plenty of Michelle Obama's judgmental eye-rolls during Thanksgiving dinner.

David Arquette is "begging" Courteney Cox to get back together with him. He's so torn up, he called his good friend Howard Stern to talk about it—and dished about their sex lives, "methodical" lovemaking, and extramarital relationships.

This week's plague of celebrity break-ups continues with an Us Weekly report that Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman "have been separated for a few months." (Was this photograph staged, then?) The couple met in 2002 and married in 2005.

Montana resident David Sicotte pleaded not guilty to hitting his pregnant sister in the mouth with "a large wrench" at her wedding reception. Before that, he'd "pushed his sister's new mother-in-law to the ground and started fighting with the groom."

According to an analysis of census data, young Americans are marrying later and less frequently than ever. Not surprising, but some experts say this is in part due to our crappy economy. Young people are too poor to get hitched.

This weekend, Philadelphia police arrested 27-year-old Robert Nickson Jr. (pictured) and charged him with statutory rape. One mistake? Posting pictures of himself and his underage fiancée to Facebook. The other mistake? Trying to marry a 14-year-old girl. [via]