Gaga's dress gets messy in the snow, Jersey Shore's Vinny forgoes a surreal appearance at Yale. John Mayer apologizes for using the n-word. Amanda Bynes doesn't see why craving "chocolate" men is wrong. Thursday's gossip is white all over.
• Marc Jacobs says he's totally over having celebrities at his fashion shows because it's boring, and the only reason Lady Gaga and Madonna turned up to his show last year was because Gaga was performing at the after-party and Madonna, well, she just showed up. "She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited." Somewhere, Madonna is burning all of her Marc Jacobs clothing. [P6]
• Rumors have been swirling recently that Ben Affleck fell off the wagon recently and is now drinking again. (He checked himself into rehab back in 2001.) On Monday, a bearded Affleck was spotted "cruising aimlessly" at the Chateau Marmont and "looking worse for wear." Uh oh. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, has scored herself a job. A day after sitting down with Extra's Mario Lopez for an interview and now the show has hired her as its new nightlife correspondent. Just like hooker-turned-sex columnist Ashley Dupre, Uchitel is proving that you can make a big bunch of terrible decisions in life and come out ahead in the end, provided you have no shame and a burning desire to be famous. [P6]
Rosario Dawson leaving the Bowery Hotel ... Keanu Reeves walking in SoHo ... Larry King picking up food on Madison Avenue ... Renee Zellweger arriving at JFK ... Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox walking in the East Village ... Madonna arriving at the Kabbalah Center in Midtown with her kids ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts in Soho pushing their kids in strollers ... Amanda Seyfried picking up coffee in the East Village ... Natalie Portman taking a break on the set of Black Swan ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse in the Village ... and an unrecognizable Kate Gosselin leaving the Ted Gibson Salon before heading to dinner at Butter.
• Conan O'Brien's tenure as Tonight Show host has ended, but it looks like he and wife Liza may be planning to stay in LA, since they're reportedly looking to unload their penthouse duplex at the Majestic on Central Park West. The 17th and 18th-floor spread, which features three terraces and Central Park Views, is being "quietly" shopped around for $35 million. [NYP]
• The buyer of Bernie and Ruth Madoff's penthouse has been revealed. It's Al Kahn, the CEO of 4Kids Entertainment and the man behind Pokemon and the Cabbage Patch Kids, who is said to be buying the place at at 133 East 64th Street for "just under" the asking price of $8.9 million. [NYP, previously]
• Jimmie Johnson has unloaded one apartment and picked up another. The Nascar driver has sold his 3,200-square-foot loft at 32 West 18th Street, which he put on the market last year, for $4 million. Meanwhile, he and his wife paid $8.33 million for a condo in the Superior Ink building on W. 12th St. [NYT]
Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass and chewtoy/boyfriend—New Orleans Saints player Reggie Bush—descend on Miami. Let Diddy be Diddy. Madonna's vagina is funny. Kristen Stewart got someone fired. Tiger Woods: excited to jack off? Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.
• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]
• As if Lindsay Lohan didn't have enough problems in her life, it seems she's a "secret hoarder," too. In an interview with the Style Network's Niecy Nash, LiLo's shows all her "stuff," which includes a bedroom filled with shoe boxes and a living room that's been turned into a giant closet. On the plus side, if Sam Ronson ever goes missing, at least the police will know where to start looking. [Us, DM]
• Tiger Woods is supposedly leaving sex rehab in Mississippi by the end of this week, which means he's changed his ways or he's planning on playing in a golf tournament in Arizona in two weeks and he's not going to let his compulsive sexual habits get in the way of that. Elin Nordegren has already flown down to pick him up. Just so there isn't an incident involving a flight attendant in the first-class lounge on the way home. [Radar, NYP]
• Season three of the Real Housewives of New York debuts next month and now word comes that creepy couple Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen may be booted before season four. It's supposedly because "viewers don't have a positive reaction to them" and Simon threw a fit when he found out he wasn't going to be paid as much as the housewives because, well, he's not a housewife, although you're excused if you thought otherwise. [NYDN]
• Precious star—and Academy Award nominee—Gabourey Sidibe would really, really like for Justin Timberlake to be her Oscar date. So, Jessica Biel, if you could step aside and make it happen, that would be great. [People]
• Jon Stewart sat down with Bill O'Reilly last night. Highlights here. [Gawker]
The National Enquirer says Cooper and his boyfriend will adopt a baby. Even crazier than that, the National Enquirer is talking about Cooper's boyfriend on the front page. Even your mom is gonna see that at the grocery store!
• Have Madonna and Jesus Luz gone their separate ways? That's what report today indicates, suggesting it was the couple's "overall lack of mutual interests" that caused the split and it was Luz who called things off. [CST]
• Rip Torn appeared in court yesterday and was formally charged with trespassing, burglary, and possessing a firearm following his arrest over the weekend for breaking into a bank because he thought it was his own house. In all fairness, though, Torn was in rural Connecticut and the "bank" is located in a two-story colonial, so this could have been a mistake that anyone could have made, no? Maybe not. Either way, Torn is now headed to rehab upstate. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Charlize Theron recently split up with her longtime partner, Stuart Townsend, but she may already have a new man in her life: Theron was spotted in LA last week on what appeared to be a date. [P6]
• Haven't the people of Haiti suffered enough? Hot on the heels of John Travolta's trip to the devastated nation to spread Scientology to the masses and now Michael Lohan and Kate Major say they, too, are planning to head to Haiti to "help" quake victims. [Radar]
John McEnroe jogging on Central Park West ... Peter Dinklage walking his dog in the West Village ... Madonna arriving at JFK ... Keri Russell carrying son River downtown ... John Lithgow leaving his apartment ... Jessica Szohr on the set of Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Ashlee Simpson arriving at the Ambassador Theater for a performance of Chicago ... and Jersey Shore's J-Woww posing for photos inside GLO nightclub on Long Island.
• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]
• What caused Brittany Murphy's death last month? The toxicology report hasn't come back, but Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, is already pointing a finger at the culprit: He claims Warner Bros. killed her. Yes, the sketchy writer/director/ photographer (who claims he has a PhD and made his fortune as a currency trader and art collector) is putting the blame on the film studio, since it fired her from a job two weeks before her death and it was the stress that ensued that killed her. He's now preparing to sue Warner Bros. But you probably could have guessed that. [Daily Beast, NYP, P6]
• Those reports last weekend about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up never panned out. But it could still happen at any moment, reports Us Weekly. Why? Because Angie feels that Brad isn't "pulling his weight" around the house and she yells at him "when he makes the eggs too runny or burns something." And the "spats have gotten so bad recently" that Pitt now calls "her a bitch behind her back." If you were thinking the recent false alarm might convince the tabloids to focus their elsewhere attention, think again. [Us]
• Michael Douglas' 31-year-old son, Cameron, pleaded guilty yesterday to trafficking meth and cocaine—he was busted at the Gansevoort Hotel last July, as you may recall—and now faces a minimum of 10 years in jail. [NYP, NYDN]
Madonna leaving the Kabbalah Center in Midtown ... John McEnroe sitting in the stands at a Knicks game with daughter Ava ... Ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer walking home from a jog on Saturday afternoon, accompanied by one of his daughters ... Ethan Hawke driving a car with his wife and kids on the UES ... model Coco Rocha walking with boyfriend James Conran ... Renee Zellweger heading to the airport en route to Sundance ... Tina Fey filming scenes for 30 Rock ... Sarah Jessica Parker getting out of a car in front of son James' school ... and Lady Gaga signing autographs for fans outside Rockefeller Center.
Oh look who's naked: Jesus Luz, the young boyfriend of pop singer/Crimean War veteran Madonna, has been snapped in the nude. Well, we only think it's him. 'Cause there's no head.
• As if this hasn't already been a crappy week for liberals thanks to the election results in Massachusetts, Air America announced today that it's shutting down effective immediately and filing for bankruptcy protection. [AP, WP]
• More on the conclusion of l'affaire Coco, what's in store for O'Brien (unclear), and what NBC can look forward to in the months ahead (lackluster ratings for Leno, mammoth losses, continued shame, etc). [NYT, TW, WSJ, NYT]
• CNN has been pulling out all the stops to cover the crisis in Haiti (not to mention invested in hundreds of tight t-shirts for Andy Cooper). And yet Fox News, which has sorta ignored the earthquake (and typically avoids covering stories involving poor black people) is still out in front in the ratings. [LAT]
• Kitty Kelley's tell-all about Oprah hits bookstores on Apr. 13. [AP]
• A Pulitzer for the National Enquirer? Stranger things have happened. [WP]
• HGTV and Food Network have returned to Cablevision customers. [NYT]
• Thanks to Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones, you'll be hearing "We Are the World" (Haiti 2010 edition) again in the near future. [Showbiz411]
• Madonna and Beyoncé have joined Team Clooney, FYI. [Reuters]
• So much for free content: Hulu may start charging its users to watch popular TV shows in the future; and YouTube is introducing pay-per-view videos.
• Is the Wall Street Journal really launching a travel agency? Yes. [E&P]
• Say goodbye (arrivederci?) to MTV's Jersey Shore. [NYM, Gawker, MTV]
