• Britney Spears' last tour led to $34 million and a descent into insanity. This time around she just wants the money. [Billboard]

Madonna and filmmaker Guy Ritchie are divorcing, according to Madonna's publicist, Liz Rosenberg. The couple is now asking the media to "maintain respect for their family at this difficult time." (Good luck with that.) And the announcement is not expected to disrupt Madge's touring schedule. She performs tonight and tomorrow in Boston. [AP]

In June, reports bubbled up in British tabloids that Madonna would divorce Guy Ritchie, her film-director husband of eight years. Today, Rupert Murdoch's tabloids on both sides of the Atlantic, the Sun and the Post, are reporting that a statement should come out shortly that the couple are breaking up after shouting matches over their careers and differences over whether to adopt another child. Though the prior reports didn't pan out, it's worth noting that this time around everyone from Time to the Associated Press is citing the tabloid reports, lending the impression an open secret has perhaps been breeched. Or maybe everyone is just chasing Web traffic! Then there's the level of detail in the Sun report:

♦ Are Madonna and Guy Ritchie really divorcing? It might be another rumor or really a Sun exclusive, but the British tabloid says they plan to announce the split as soon as today. [The Sun]
♦ Christie Brinkley is suing Peter Cook for violating the couple's confidentiality agreement by talking about their relationship on 20/20. [NYP]
♦ The "mystery illness" that's caused Janet Jackson to cancel tour dates is supposedly a vestibular migraine, which "induces the sensation of vertigo." The good news is that now she's apparently cured. [ET]
♦ Raffaello Follieri's lawyers yesterday asked a judge to "go easy" on Raffaello in exchange for his quick return to Italy where he'll "never be heard from again." Ha! [NYDN]
♦ The 40-year-old CEO of a company called Future Tech Enterprise on Long Island is actually paying $20,000 to box Michael Lohan. And Stephen Baldwin is now planning to serve as the match judge. [Newsday via NYO]

"PHOTOS: Madonna's Movie Premiere With Friends, Facial Hair," promised the headline today on the Huffington Post today, and we dutifully clicked, wondering who would be the latest star to don Hollywood's hottest new accessory: the moustache! Previously an outdated cultural relic, the moustache has undergone a renaissance thanks to actors like George Clooney and Robert Downey, Jr.; would a star of similar stature attending the premiere of Madonna's Filth and Wisdom be the newest member of the facial hair club? Then, we came to the last sentence of the article: "Here are photos of some of the celebrities who came out to support [Madonna] Monday night and, perhaps more surprising for such a perfectionist, a close-up of Madonna's upper lip hair."

[Madonna at the New York premiere of her directorial debut film "Filth & Wisdom" last night; image via Splash]

[Actress Juliette Lewis heading into the Madonna concert at Madison Square Garden on Saturday; image via Splash]

Albert Hammond Jr. and Agyness Deyn walking their dog in the East Village ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber riding around on a Vespa in SoHo and later walking with their son to a bookstore ... Jon Stewart and his wife pushing their kids in strollers ... Julianne Moore getting a parking ticket in the West Village ... Taylor Momsen and Leighton Meester filming Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking son James to school ... Emma Watson walking with an unidentified guy ... Kate Winslet running to keep up with her son ... Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone holding hands on a walk in the West Village ...

• Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett of CNBC insist they aren't backbiting rivals. The business network said the Post created the rivalry from thin air. The Post said someone at CNBC "leaked" word of the supposed feud for free publicity and now everyone on the inside is trying to figure out who the leaker was. Which is believable, because it's not like they have anything better to do right now. [P6]

Marc Jacobs standing on the sidewalk outside the Mercer Hotel ... David Duchovny jogging across the street ... Molly Shannon and Nigella Lawson outside ABC studios ... Naomi Watts walking in the West Village with bag from the Container Store ... Salma Hayek and daughter Valentina arriving at their hotel ... Penn Badgley shooting a scene on the Gossip Girl set in Brooklyn ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri out of their East 13th Street apartment building ... Ethan Hawke crossing the street ... Paula Deen and her husband Michael arriving at their hotel ... Beck outside the Letterman show ... Madonna and Alex Rodriguez leaving Yom Kippur services at the Kabbalah Center ... Sarah McLachlan leaving her hotel in Midtown ... and Daniel Radcliffe talking to fans outside the Broadhurst Theater.

♦ Angelina Jolie can be seen breastfeeding on the cover of the upcoming issue of W. Brad Pitt is the one who took the pics. He's also the one who convinced Angie to have kids of her own, she says. [NYDN, People]
♦ A judge denied Christie Brinkley's request for a temporary restraining order that would bar Peter Cook for seeing their kids this weekend. He did rule that Cook cannot "expose" them to his 20/20 interview. [People]
♦ Sarah Palin is set to appear on SNL on October 25th. [Cindy Adams]

Though Sarah Palin may claim to "tolerate" gays (with all her heart!), pop superstar Madonna owes her entire livelihood to them, and she certainly knows which side her bread is buttered on. At her Monday concert at Madison Square Garden, then, the fledgling director and potential A-Rod squeeze put on her pundit's hat, announcing that "Sarah fucking Palin" was decidedly not invited to the concert (a message Palin may have already gathered from Madonna's tasteful McCain/Hitler montage) and exhorting the crowd to "get that bitch out of here!" What's the matter, Madge — no residual "Papa Don't Preach" love for the knocked-up Bristol Palin? Video, after the jump.

Tina Fey and Peter Dinklage filming scenes for 30 Rock outside NBC studios ... Whitney Port walking on the Bowery with Jay Lyon ... Blake Lively carrying her dog on the set of Gossip Girl ... Sarah Vowell standing outside the Letterman show ... Tom Cruise leaving an office building in SoHo with Katie Holmes and Suri ... Brooke Shields on the set of Lipstick Jungle ... Anne Hathaway showing up at the SNL after-party at McCormick & Schmick ... and Carrot Top and his girlfriend arriving at LaGuardia.

[Madonna opens her 'Sticky and Sweet' tour at Madison Square Garden on Sunday night; image via Splash] TedSez's new line beats the original, Ghost Of Long-Dead Material Girl Forever Haunts Pop Star.

♦ David Duchovny has left the rehab facility where he's spent the last few weeks receiving treatment for sex addiction. He's now in NYC with wife Tea Leoni. [Us]
♦ Brangelina has left town. The family was spotted walking around New Orleans yesterday. [E!]
♦ Madonna made fun of Sarah Palin at her concert at the Meadowlands on Saturday night. [P6]
♦ Clint Eastwood might think Sarah Palin would make a good VP, although he didn't actually say it in so many words. [P6]
♦ Break out the tissues: Holly Madison says she and Hugh Hefner are no longer together. [TMZ]

♦ Rachael Ray's reps are denying reports that Ray has throat cancer, although they do admit she's having surgery for a cyst on her vocal cord in December. [People]
♦ It was a busy weekend for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. With hoards of paparazzi in tow, the couple made an appearance at the premiere of Changeling, where Angelina showed off her newest tattoos (the coordinates of the places where each of her kids was born) and told reporters that she and Brad are planning to have even more kids. [NYDN, OK!, previously]
♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky tied the knot on Friday night at Le Cirque with Billy Joel performing in front of guests like Denise Rich, Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, and Donald Trump. [NYP, Us]
♦ A fire at Geraldo Rivera's home on Friday didn't singe his mustache, but it did damage the two 1954 Jaguars in his garage. [P6]

Perhaps mindful that her McCain/Hitler concert montage went over about as well as a soiled dominatrix outfit, pop superstar Madonna has returned to the well that attracted her the most attention this year: her are-they-or-aren't-they flirtation with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Though Madonna's camp had quelled the rumors before by having her step out with husband Guy Ritchie, the director is now overseas shooting Sherlock Holmes, and Us Weekly says that Madonna seized the opportunity to meet up with Rodriguez once more:

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez had a big secret dinner at Dos Caminos Third Avenue in New York. They arrived half an hour apart, sat in the back at a quiet, "alcove-like" table and left by separate exits. Then they denied the Mexican food rendezvous to the press, since Rodriguez's soon-to-be-ex-wife has the crazy idea Madonna sneaks around with A-Rod . But Us Weekly and Page Six each has a source who saw the dinner, so it's basically confirmed.

♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky are getting married tonight. Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, is presiding over the ceremony. So if you have no plans and you'd like to see this bizarre menagerie of people for yourself, please show up at Le Cirque on East 58th Street. [P6]
♦ Despite rumors, Elisabeth Hasselbeck says she has no plans to leave the View for Fox News. [E!, People]
♦ Madonna and Alex Rodriguez may have had dinner together, although both of their reps deny it. [P6]
♦ Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse are working together on a new song. Hopefully it'll turn out better than their last attempt at a collaboration, which "ended in tears." [Mirror]

John Mayer leaving a Krav Maga session on West 22nd Street ... Sarah Jessica Parker and Caroline Kennedy making a promotional appearance at the Barnes & Nobles in Tribeca ... Alex Rodriguez having lunch outside at Bar Pitti ... Katie Holmes signing autographs outside the Schoenfeld Theatre ... Madonna and son David walking into the Kabbalah Center ... Sandra Bernhard leaving the center with her daughter hours later ... Kate Walsh and Barry Sonnenfeld outside the Letterman show ... Britney Spears heading inside Soho House ... and Jay-Z standing on the sidewalk in the West Village.