"PHOTOS: Madonna's Movie Premiere With Friends, Facial Hair," promised the headline today on the Huffington Post today, and we dutifully clicked, wondering who would be the latest star to don Hollywood's hottest new accessory: the moustache! Previously an outdated cultural relic, the moustache has undergone a renaissance thanks to actors like George Clooney and Robert Downey, Jr.; would a star of similar stature attending the premiere of Madonna's Filth and Wisdom be the newest member of the facial hair club? Then, we came to the last sentence of the article: "Here are photos of some of the celebrities who came out to support [Madonna] Monday night and, perhaps more surprising for such a perfectionist, a close-up of Madonna's upper lip hair."

Kudos, HuffPo, for allocating resources and a crack team of interns with magnifying glasses to the mysterious case of Madonna's stubbly upper lip. Sure, the pop superstar's facial hair is a somewhat sad excuse for a mustache, even flimsier than the three-week old peach fuzz sported by a heavily concentrating McLovin (and we're surprised to see the site venture down this path so soon after their "Look at 58-Year-Old Anna Wintour's Wrinkles in Close-Up" item bombed a while back), but this investigation reps a brave new frontier for Arianna Huffington's respected news organization. In no time, we expect the to see the editrix personally drawing cum stains that dribble down Sarah Palin's face — and won't our national discourse be better for it?