Marketing research firm Civic Science was forced to recalibrate its survey scoring system after finding that "millennials"—children born between the late 1970s and early 2000s—don't feel particularly strongly about anything. Not true! Want to know what millennials hate?

It's been more than 72 hours now since America's princess Chelsea Clinton got hitched, and you, the little people, are likely going into Chelsea withdrawal. Click through immediately for today's Chelsea news: real estate! Party time! And Jews!

All these "online dating sites" are quite valuable for research purposes, according to scientists who were found hastily closing their AshleyMadison.com tabs. The most valuable finding of all: shut up, already.

A study in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology says the same part of the brain that deals with romantic rejection also handles cocaine addiction. Now there's a scientific explanation for stalking! [NYDN]

Do you like to fuck, but hate being forced to say one word to your prospective sex partner up until the very moment of copulation? You live in the right decade, buddy. Modern dating is retreating even deeper into sullenness.

A "socially inept" Pennsylvania judge has been suspended from his job for calling repeatedly and "making uninvited visits" to the homes of five women. We'd expect that from a lawyer, cop, or other male professional. But not a judge. [AP]

After Frank voted himself off the island last night, Jimmy got to give Ali Fedotowsky an excellent "I told you so." He also ponders the big questions like "Will Ali find love" and "Why'd Ali get Roberto naked?"

Time magazine funnyman and true American original Joel Stein has revealed at last Which Mistake Taught Him the Most. Spoiler: his answer is about Joel Stein's sex life.

New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser is positively smitten with America's heartthrob, Lindsay Lohan. It's so obvious. Andrea's just like a little kid, spewing false insults at her crush object to cover up her undying love.

A couple's chances of divorce are increased by 75% if a close friend or colleague of one partner gets a divorce, according to researchers. Does this mean that Al Gore, Tiger Woods, and Kelsey Grammar are bros? [Daily Mail]

Today we looked at the hotbed of hot Missed Connections that is the L train, inspiring love, lust, and confusion among you commenters. One commenter in particular had his heart captured by an enchanting strap-hanger.

Using a very sophisticated algorithm (or something), the folks at Craigslist have figured out that, per capita and per ride rate, the L train gets more Missed Connections mentions than any other train. The Brooklyn stops are especially bumpin'.

Twenty-nine-year-old bus driver Duane Snipes has confessed to stealing a brand-new Greyhound bus to drive up to Mount Vernon to see his lady love. Aw, let him off! He was following his heart! But yeah, definitely fire him.

Gather round, unhappily married men, because the FDA has issued a report on flibanserin, the real live "Female Viagra" that will usher in a new golden age of raw, dirty once-per-month sexing.

Are you horny, but rushed? Here's the condensed version of sex beast Andrea Peyser's column today: "Breast-feeding. It was in your face...so much testosterone...muscular chests...mommy's milk...crime against nature?...Hot single mommy...showed off her assets." Mmmm. That's the stuff. [NYP; Previously]

Flibanserin, the real live, no joke "Female Viagra" that makes the ladies want to get down and rock it 'til the morning light...what were saying? Ah yes, the FDA is studying it! Its dynamite sexual effectiveness will astound you.

Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman with a computer. Someone has been wallpapering Williamsburg's telephone poles with a printouts warning of a jobless man who "made passionate nasty sex with [mistresses] ALL OVER" his girlfriend's apartment.

Spanish mathematician Jose-Manuel Rey has calculated the "second thermodynamic law for sentimental interaction" and charted the trajectory of "sentimental equilibrium." Just like a relationship that is falling apart, it is as complicated as it is inscrutable.

It's not easy for Andrea Peyser to come up with new sex column topics every week. Pantie shopping? Done. Sexy lesbians? Done. Prison rape? Done. Breast milk? Done. Fireman fantasies? Done. Ummm...what about cougars? Can we write about cougars, still?

Yes, there are bad interns in this world. But there are also bad internships. Like the one where the boss sends you a video of himself jacking off, allegedly.