Nutripro diet dog food puts things in terms that you pet-coddling, Snausage-tossing, pooch-fattening, smothering-with-love fat dog owners can understand: Your fat dog isn't fucking. And that's wrong. [Via Adfreak. Click to enlarge]

Fresh off her Playboy pictorial, Spitzer superfriend Ashley Dupre sat down for an interview and explained that she doesn't talk about the fact that she has a boyfriend, which is why the story's not "out there." So everyone: shhhh.

Attention media hopefuls, an ad that may be useful to you has been found on Craigslist! "Freelance Writer Desired." Sounds good so far! "M4W." That seems odd to include. And why is this writing gig in "Casual Encounters?"

Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!

When heir to the New York Times throne A "to the muthafuckin" G Sulzberger joined the paper as a cub reporter last year, we asked—for journalism reasons—whether he had a girlfriend. Now he has "spilled the beans," love-wise!

Ashley Dupre—former Spitzer hooker (and oversharer) but not bad person overall (but bad singer)—had some serious things about love to get off her chest. So she took to the internet. Sigh.

These guys care about one thing, and one thing only. Love. The big doe eyes and gentle demeanor of Charlie, Desmond, and Daniel set to the music of Queen asks, "Could the real heroes of the island be the lovers?"

A judge yesterday rejected 26 year-old Long Islander Danielle Cavalieri's claim that she should be able to keep a $19,000 engagement ring because her (now ex) fiancee cheated on her. Long Island men were like, "Yes." [NYP]

Wealthy developer Robert Brot is suing Lindsey DeLeon for more than $100k, charging that the younger woman took advantage of his love, ripped him off, and became a prostitute. But! Lindsey says Brot was her pimp. Plus: Hot new pixxx!

Robert Brot, a rich 57 year-old real estate developer, says 26 year-old Lindsey DeLeon abused his love for her, ripping him off for more than $100K. Why didn't he just hire her? Her escort ads are still up.

Fameball 1.0 Julia Allison is allegedly quitting the internet. She may not resurface for days, or even weeks. It's a sobering moment. Let us now look back and remember three and a half years of highlights of Julia's unfiltered life.

Unmarried couples are increasingly living together, even though it doesn't improve your chance of a successful marriage. Births are up—but infertility gives guys cancer. What does this all mean? We're all going to die alone.

A controversial new book by a Harvard-educated lawyer weighs in on American society's most hotly debated sociological quandary: Should black ladies date people who are not black? The year now is 1955. Oh, it's not?

The Texas Court of Appeals ruled that a condemned man's execution should go forward even though the judge in his case was sleeping with the prosecutor. And the judge in question has an unintentionally comical rebuke, for her detractors!

John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline in 1953, but he was also creeping with many international beauties—including Sweden's Gunilla von Post, who's now auctioning off her love letters from the horndog president-to-be. He's lucky there was no internet back then.

The NYT CityRoom blog found a woman who supposedly went on a blind date with J.D. Salinger. She said he was "smashing looking" and that there was a "mystery" about him. Naturally, there was no second date. What a bro.

World's longest-married couple, dishing out relationship advice, on Twitter. You will never be this cute.

Stupid Valentine's Day. Every year you end up alone, crying salty tears into your can of Chef Lonelyheart's soup for one. Don't fret! Because you can find solace in these movies where love just leads to misery/death/having Satan's baby.

For Valentine's Day, Andrea Peyser asks her husband to bring her booze, then go away.

Elizabeth Edwards, nee John Edwards' wife, is reportedly planning to sue John's former aide Andrew Young because he broke up their marriage. John and Elizabeth Edwards are now both behaving in equally bizarre ways.