Earlier today, following the news that Vogue editrix Anna Wintour has a little crush on actor Gerard Butler, Radar compiled a list of some of Anna's known paramours. It's a strange mix of gents. B-baller LeBron James, country club hero Roger Federer, Monty Python's Eric Idle, Condé Nast chairman Si Newhouse (oohhh..), and, um, Bob Marley. Yes! Bob Marley. Heh heh. Well, because it's such a varied group of dudes, we got to wondering... who exactly would be Anna Wintour's perfect man? We tapped our Photoshop whiz Steve Dressler and employed some of our own inductive reasoning and have come up with a fellow called Archie Bronson, a writer and public speaker. Read a little about Archie and see a photo after the jump.

Famous actresses should really write something into their contracts that says that in the case of their ex-boyfriend being arrested for international money-laundering and fraud, all mandatory TV interviews for a new movie can be postponed at least until his trial is over. Anne Hathaway already had to face David Letterman's questions about her ex, conman Raffaello Follieri, and today she had to go on Good Morning America to explain what she "learned" by dating an Italian hustler. Uh, not to do it? Click to watch her speak poignantly enough to live up to GMA's standards of public purging. [The saddest part of all is that the movie she's promoting, "Rachel Getting Married" is absolutely terrible. Epically grating. I even got free tickets, but Jesus. It's not worth the headache, Anne.]

Somewhere out there is a budding female public intellectual destined to marry an embarrassingly oversharey lifestyle magazine editor1 who dribbles out in monthly editor's letters the grotesquely bourgeois details of their life, providing endless gossip fodder to media workers frustrated in their own loveless (if not as literal!) marriages to the consumerism bankrolling their profession. Until then, however, we will have to be satisfied with the likes former Business 2.0 editor Josh Quittner, whose wife shares their home life with the readers of the New York Times—and smartypants Jacob Weisberg. The Slate group editor sleeps on a horsehair mattress covered in "beautiful heavy linen" and sheets from a special shop in London, all of which we know because his wife, Domino editor-in-chief Deborah Needleman, told Fashion Week Daily in excruciating detail (click thumb for a closeup) about the marital bed. By the way, New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell introduced the couple! (Hey Gladwell, anyone ever tell you you were a "connector"?)

Remember that male:female demographic map that statistically charted the surplus single females across the nation and made every single woman in New York want to hang herself? Turns out it was somewhat misleading, because it counted everyone between the ages of 20 and 64 and most of the women who read about it on some blog—and who then accordingly expanded the universe of Dudes With Whom They'd Potentially Go Home to include, like, actuaries or men with off-putting tribal tattoos—were probably younger than 40. An amateur statistician named Jonathan Soma with an apparent surplus of free time and something to prove coded the map to make it adjustable by age (and divided by local population), and the sudden sprouting of big blue single male dots makes the situation seem a lot rosier for women……until they reach their mid-forties at least! So there is, it turns out, probably a surplus of single young dudes, and an absolute paucity of single old dudes. Oh yeah, and none of this counts unmarrieds in relationships, which decidedly includes The Gays:

Gossip Girl simps Blake Lively (that's the girl) and Penn Badgley (that's the boy) have played lovers on and off camera, and though their characters have split up (for now...), their conveniently press-ready real-life romance is going strong. Perhaps too strong, if a Page Six "spywitness" (really?) is to be believed: "It's gotten crazy, they are all over each other after every single take," the CI tells the paper. "He's in scenes with this new cute brunette, and Blake is all over him after wards. And no one on set is talking to the new girl be cause they don't want to upset Blake." This is notable for only two reasons. One, the "spywitness" (really?) is probably a spokesperson for the show. And two, there is absolutely no news today. So, suck it up and feed the machine. [P6]

The passive-aggressive love story of Vimeo employee Patrick Moberg and his subway crush, Camille Hayton, has drawn to a close. The couple, you'll recall, met after Moberg spotted Hayton on the subway, then used his website to solicit help tracking her down. Romance bloomed, or seemed to. Rumors later swirled about a breakup, but then the couple was in a magazine for olds inspiring everyone with their love. But then someone ran into Hayton while she was waitressing and asked her about being the subway girl and she was all, "that was SUCH a long time ago" in her Australian accent. It sounded like a bad sign and, as it turns out, it was.

That Slate lady-blog has been talking about divorce all week, all because Maureen Dowd wrote a column about how no man on Earth is good enough to marry her (or "you"). And because Ellen Tien wrote an O Magazine piece about how her husband is an utter shithole who she can't wait to divorce, right ladies? Anyway. For those keeping score at home:

Breaking: the (female) fiancée of probably gay Florida governor Charlie Crist owns a company that manufactures beards. [HuffPo]

From the mixed up files of Craigslist comes a Missed Connection from a dude who must be an actor or some sort of bigwig behind-the-scenes person on raggedy teen soap Gossip Girl. The show has been filming in the Hamptons recently and this CL poster was enamored with a bikini-clad blonde nymph, an extra who had "the body of a goddess." And don't worry, blondie, your Romeo is fairly certain you'll figure it out—"if you see this you probably know who I am," he writes, romantically. So are you out there, dreamgirl? Do you know who he is? If not, read more about yourself and your thwarted romance after the jump.

Meet Dimitri! He met you on the street the other day and just wanted to say hi, and have sex with you. Call him "as soon as you have the courage to." He doesn't like leaving second messages, but he likes you. "Here how it's going to work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume-I'll assume that you've already work. ... But if i do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock, Thursday afternoon, I am no longer interested. and you can erase my phone number. I do not play games like that." There's NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. But maybe your mother has cancer? So. WHO IS DIMITIRI? He's probably this guy:

The question in the headline is from InStyle's interview with actress Anne Hathaway in its upcoming issue. And we have a scan of it! To recap: Hathaway broke up with Follieri last week, and yesterday he was arrested on wire fraud and money laundering charges. So it must be so weird for her to have this interview coming out in which she gushes about cooking pasta for Follieri and throwing awesome dinner parties with him (not any more though, cause of the whole house arrest thing). Such unfortunate timing. Click through for a large version of the awk-ward InStyle page:

Just last week we asked when button-cute actress Anne Hathaway would break up with her troublesome, scandal-plagued boyfriend of four years, Raffaello Follieri. She's reportedly "devastated," about it but hey, about time. He was a pretty sleazy character. After the jump, a field guide to the dumped Italian playboy:

TheFrisky.com has finally launched! If you have an exceedingly good memory, you'll recall it as the purportedly smart and fun love and sex site for women we previewed for you a month ago, which seeks to sneakily promote "Sex and the City" through dog sex. It seems that they've edited out most of the dog sex, unfortunately, and they no longer want to "bone Barack Obama"—a political shift. So how to put the actual live content into words? How about.... "SexyFashionGuysCuteSoooooooooAnnoying!"

In honor of our fallen governor, DealBreaker will be hosting an impromptu happy hour at Spitzer’s Corner on Manhattan’s Lower East Side starting around 5:30 this afternoon. If you get there early enough, we’ll probably spring for a round or two. We hope you’ll join us as we raise a glass to the end of the dirty, rotten legacy of Loathesome Eliot.

Jimmy Wales can't get enough of Rachel Marsden, the girlfriend he met on Wikipedia. Here's a shot of her pouting for the camera. Three more after the jump.

Internet cartoonist Dorothy Gambrell produced this lovely Valentine's Day graph measuring the most popular Google results finishing the phrase "my love is a...." Of possibly more amusement potential is the list of "answers with one listing in the top 100 Google results." Have a vaguely depressing Valentine's Day! [Very Small Array]

"Mogul Larry Tee, fashion designers Heatherette, new media Artist Andrew Strasser, and music video producer Francis Legge" all got together to produce this adorable and incredibly weird Valentine's Day music video featuring children chanting in their best Flying Lizards monotones over a looped electro beat as some sort of post-hipster Sesame Street interstitial video unfolds around them. Exploitation has never been sweeter. [Larry Tee]

David Martin is a guy who enjoys playing piano on the beach, marrying his high school sweetheart, and growing his own flowing blond hair. He also owns the voice you will hear later on today when you crack open that garish box of plasticky Whitman's chocolates that your forgetful, cheap ass boyfriend purchased at Walgreen's at the last second. Because the chocolate company has seen fit to make their boxes of Valentine's candy play Martin's terrible love song, "Something In Your Eyes." It's not bad enough that you have been given a $9.99 box of inedible chocolate; you must also be subjected to the soft rock lyrics of an up-and-coming Michael Bolton, such as, "In your eyes, I saw a million angels." After the jump, the full video of David Martin strolling on empty piers, singing the chocolate song that will soon be disgusting couples across America. [WSJ]

The American Family is Under Attack. Homosexuals, liberals, Europeans, celebrities, immigrants—all seek to undermine our nation's moral code. Marriage, parenthood, even chaste teenage courtship are embattled and probably doomed. Movies about children having children out of wedlock, gays trying to marry gays, and wife-stealing media moguls are just symptoms of a deeper moral rot in our culture. Here, we present to you, exclusively, three of the greatest dangers to your family unit that you are sure to face this February—and beyond!

BREAKING UPDATE: DOREE BOUGHT JOSH THE FATEFUL CLAFOUTIS. OR HALF OF IT ANYWAY. [The Doree Chronicles, Related, Previously]