Okay so you know that Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David needs $53K per week to live because her CEO (soon-to-be-ex) husband was overly generous and divorce-fetishy (and submissive), but did you know she made him rich?

Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David was in court explaining why she wants $100 million in her divorce: her husband was too generous! Then again, he's a heartless control freak. And she's a shrew! They're perfect together:

Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess divorcee who is demanding $100 million from her soon-to-be-ex-husband to meet her $53,000-per-week minimum needs, is now telling her side of the story: her husband's a divorce sex fiend!

Grandparents: they hate their grandkids nowadays! It's all detailed right there in a brand new breaking trend story from the New York Times, the Paper of Record. Nobody likes anybody any more!

Some sort of Play-Doh knockoff begs: "Let the kids build a better world." Hmmm. Is this how we define "better world," more interracial dating by the Klan? Points for edginess, regardless! [Copyranter]

Hey ladies, lock up your vaginas, because Neil "The Game" Strauss—last seen telling you how to pull much vagina—is back, with a new book! It's about how pickup artist-authors can survive hurricanes or something.

People magazine is reporting that bubblegum pop star/ monster Chris Brown is back together again with battered (by him) woman/ superior singer Rihanna. I see only three possibilities, concerning this story:

What is the world coming to, when the bottom-feeding British press can't even trust 13 year-olds to be truthful about whether they were the one who screwed the 15 year-old and made a baby?

A tipster tells us billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle (and his model wrangler!) was "lurking around" Justin Timberlake's William Rast show at Fashion Week last night. Time for a listicle of creepy old ladies' men!

Weep for the DABA girls: an actual statistical analysis of the New York Times' wedding page reveals that finance guys just aren't getting married as much as they used to. Because they're all fired, probably!

Ooo, the rumors are true. MSNBC character and PR firm owner Dan Abrams is dating permasquint actress Renee Zellweger. There's photographic evidence!

Being a media mogul can get tiring. Could the news that New York magazine owner Bruce Wasserstein is marrying a younger woman signal a bit of loss of interest in his marriage to the magazine?

Barack Obama paid a visit to the Washington Post newsroom yesterday, and our capital's toughest reporters collectively swore to never wash that hand again. Crush on Barry! Nothing wrong with that, says Howard Kurtz:

We may have resurrect the word "Douchebag" for a day, because it's time for another "Fashion Meets Finance" Douche-Dating extravaganza! Jim Cramer will be there! And we have the entire list of attendees:

The winter may be bleak and cold, but at least we have this story to warm our hearts. We've had our first Gawker Commenter engagement! Well, OK, he was a Deadspin commenter. But still!

Not again! After her matchmaking attempts with Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston, and Ryan Seacrest produced no sparks, Ellen DeGeneres has plunged her knitting needles into Anne Hathaway (whose current boyfriend is not famous enough).

Last week, we gave you a photo of Rush Limbaugh's ladyfriend wearing what looks to be an engagement ring. It's been a week and no one's followed up with a confirmation?

When did Ellen DeGeneres turn into such a yenta?

The lady pictured with terrifying Jim Henson Creature Workshop creation/popular talk show host Rush Limbaugh up there is Kathryn "Kate" Rogers. Oh, look at that, she's got a ring! Congrats to Rush Limbaugh, for popping the question to this woman (according to what she's been hinting to friends!) who surely loves him for his winning personality (which is the same reason he loves her, obv). Kate, 32, is a party planner and is currently planning the Super Bowl or something. Rush divorced his last wife in 2004. Go ahead and congratulate Katie at her Facebook page!

• Nearly three years ago, Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett [Johansson] is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall at the Dark Room on the Lower East Side. Allure finally asked Johansson about the incident: "I don't know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar—I mean, shockingly so, like 'Whoa, what, who are you?'"