During yesterday's presidential oil spill commission hearing, Louisiana crawfisher Drew Landry, who helps "pay the bills" by working in oil fields, entertained panel members with a beautiful folk song he wrote about workin' hard. The commission's plutocrats were reportedly amused.

Oil spill update! BP's awesomeness continues: The company has decided to reduce the payments to around 40,000 "individuals whose claims files were incomplete." But rest easy... BP is also fitting a new well cap and is claiming "progress."

Religious people don't attend religious services as often as they used to, probably because they're boring. But what if you could take your awesome guns to churches, mosques, synagogues, etc., as you will now be able to in Louisiana?

Louisiana legislators passed a resolution asking residents to pray today for the end of the oil spill. Said State Senator Robert Adley: "it is clearly time for a miracle for us." Said God: "But... I'm almost at 150 million gallons!"

Louisiana prison inmate Joe Lewis, perhaps inspired by The Butt Smuggler, was caught trying to sneak cigarettes, four muscle relaxers and chewing tobacco back into jail inside his prosthetic leg from a work release program. Four pills? Weak. [TheTownTalk]

There's another leak in the Gulf of Mexico. And it's supposedly been going on since April. It's unrelated to the BP spill; it's coming from another rig off the coast of Louisiana. But a 10 mile-long slick is now visible.

Officials from Jefferson Parish, Louisiana have told Yahoo News and local NBC affiliate WDSU that BP bused in hundreds of temporary workers to make it look like they were doing more than they were for oil-slicked local beaches.

The Environmental Protection Agency ordered BP to stop using the toxic dispersant Corexit to break up their oil mess in the Gulf of Mexico. BP decided to keep on using it. And why not? They're basically in charge down there.

The company responsible for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill wants you to know that they're working very hard to fix it. They've capped one leak! And now they're towing a concrete "dome" to the site to contain the spill.

Oh, Rush. While everyone is focused on the environmental and economic impact of the oil rig explosion and subsequent spill, Limbaugh has his own theory: the rig was blown up by "hardcore environmentalist wackos."

A "gag-inducing smell," believed to be a byproduct of the nearby oil spill, is hanging over New Orleans. Think "if a bus was in front of you blowing out exhaust fumes right in your face." Laissez le mauvaise odeur rouler!

[A leaky BP oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico "could equal or even eclipse" the damage caused by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. Experts expect the slick could hit the Mississippi River Delta by late tonight. Image via Getty.]

Steven Seagal: Lawman combines a really really boring episode of Cops with a washed up, overweight, out of work actor. Even with his fat suit on, he's bound to get recognized by the people he arrests. And it is awkwaaaard.

Louisiana judge Keith Bardwell, who stood up against interracial marriage, has resigned. What a character!

Keith Bardwell wants desperately to give his racism a happy face. The white Louisiana Justice of the Peace refused to give an interracial couple a marriage license because he feels for those little mixed babies. What a good Samaritan...

Bobby Jindal just can't win! The Louisiana Governor became a national joke last year, after he attempted to counter President Obama in that laughable speech. Now, after months of lying low, he's taking heat for taking a helicopter to church.

Since Michael Jackson died you've probably lost sleep wondering, "I wonder what he'd have looked if he hadn't f-ed himself all up with plastic surgery?" Well now, thanks to the work of some forensic artists, you can know.

Unparalleled in the history of American political corruption is the backwards collection of scoundrels, scallywags, hooligans, rascals and charlatans collectively known as the Louisiana State Legislature. So seeing a rapper blasting profane lyrics in their chamber is—Very funny!