In a stunning victory for lovers of linear medical serials peopled by a variety of horny doctors prone to solipsistic monologue-delivery over aficionados of tropical sci-fi adventures with a penchant for adding confounding new plot elements without explaining the significance of the approximately two dozen such elements introduced prior, ABC has announced a Thursday night programming shift. The network will be returning Grey's Anatomy to the prime, Thursday-at-9 spot on their post-strike schedule, bumping Lost to the less-desirable 10 p.m. slot:

Some really fascinating Lost scoops, courtesy of our friend Doc Jensen and show creators Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. When will we know things? When we know things what will we know?? Find out! [EW.com]

Today's LAT picks the strike-weary brains of four TV showrunners who are returning to work after three weeks of agonizing about the fates of their series, storylines they were forced to abandon, and early-draft scripts they may soon need to rush into production, hoping to illustrate the back-to-work chaos facing a town scrambling to pick up where it left off in early November. My Name is Earl's Greg Garcia, for example, is publicly promising that anyone who fritters away their precious time with unproductive chatter about which agency's picket line snacks were the most delicious (the debate, of course, begins and ends with CAA's baby-filled scones) risks an immediate shitcanning. ("[T]hat's all I've heard about for the last three months. And now it's over. I'm not going to sit and listen to them talk about it now. If you say the word 'strike' and you're not talking about bowling, you're fired.") Meanwhile, Lost's Damon Lindelof frets that his staff's been laid off for so long that they may have lost their already seemingly tenuous grasp on what the hell is going on with their magical, polar-bear-and-smoke-monster-infested island:

"The group is called Previously On Lost, and they recap Lost episodes via song," says blogger Pam Newman. God, I don't know what witty text I can add. Except that it sounds like Rockapella guest-starring on the toddler show Yo Gabba Gabba. [Previously on Lost]

EW.com's Jeff "Doc" Jensen may be one of the biggest nerds of all time. But we think it's kind of great. His write-ups of the (still good!) mystery series Lost are some of the most thorough (but not too much) and lucid on the garbled, bizarro internet. Occasionally he'll get to watch an episode ahead of time and his giddy, jumping-up-and-down-and-clapping enthusiasm for what we're about to see is palpable and infectious. He's never really Comic Book Guy-ish about it, only criticizing when it's absolutely necessary. If you're a fan of the show (and you really, really should be) we can't recommend reading Jensen enough. Though, you may want to stay away from the comments section. What goes on down there, much like the basements where the comments are written, is horrifying and definitely covered in an orange Cheetos smear.

[Jim Behrle's kartoon kats did not particularly enjoy either last night's Lost or the Democratic Debate. (Kock, though, was inspired.)]

Call it a curse, call it a lack of fulfilling leisure activities in Hawaii, call it the stress of never getting to speak any of your lines in English—the cast of Lost has claimed yet another DUI:

Feeling jilted by ABC's apparent higher regard for conventioneering nerds, TV critics at the TCAs coerce network president Steve McPherson into revealing news about the return of a cherished Lost character to the series, a super-top-secret development he'd hoped to break to fans at Comic-Con. Following the link provided will likely spoil the entire upcoming season for you, so click at your own peril. [Reuters]

Two Google-chatters decipher the Lost finale. [ trybecca]

· Lost's producers officially get three more years to pretend that they have any clue what's happening on that island, as ABC gives the series an advance order for three more 16-episode seasons. As currently scheduled, all loose ends involving smoke monsters, polar bears, and Jack and Kate finally getting it on should be tied up in early 2010. [Variety]
· Did we mention that Spider-Man:3's $227 million overseas was an international box office record? Well, it was! Unless you don't think it should count because it includes a six-day total from some early-opening foreign territories. [THR]
· DreamWorks wins the bidding war for Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones adaptation, committing at least $65 million to the project. Now that the deal is closed, perhaps Jackson's lawyers will calm down about assistants sharing the script. [Variety]
· Fans of the The OC who think the show was mercy-killed prematurely should be heartened by creator Josh Schwartz's pilot season buzz, which indicates that his projects for NBC and The CW are looking like strong contenders for pick-ups. [THR]
· In other pre-upfront pick-up news, NBC has already greenlighted Medium for a fourth season, ensuring that at least one network will have a juggsy psychic on its primetime schedule this Fall. [Variety]

It's hard with all that sixth-order navel-gazing and water-cooler fellatio and gripping boardroom oratory on the weekdays to keep up with what's actually going on at Media Level Zero. You know, like on TV and stuff. Thus, TiVo Theosophy, in which our special correspondent Daniel Luxemburg, who may or may not own a television, momentarily steps out of the geist-glow to tell us what it all means. And why to go on anyway. Or not. Consider him a First Life avatar.

With help from possible sitcom saviors like Jenna Elfman and the Geico Unfairly Persecuted Cavemen Project not to arrive until the fall season at the earliest, increasingly desperate ABC development executives are looking inward for more radical and immediate solutions to their comedy problems. This Just In has leaked this internal presentation the execs have put together in an attempt to convince boss Steve McPherson to allow them to repurpose the lighter moments from flagging drama Lost as a half-hour summer schedule-filler, which would help both to bridge the gap between Lost seasons and the next generation of surefire sitcom hits that will arrive by the end of the year.

Past Class Day pre-commencement speakers up at Columbia University make up a fairly fancy gang, one that includes George Stephanopoulos, playwright Tony Kushner, and last year's much-protested choice, John McCain. But never before has the student body been quite so totally pissed over the choice of Class Day speaker as they are now. What, Lost star Matthew Fox isn't good enough for you children?

Michelle Rodriguez, who last year found her Lost character falling victim to a network-president-ordered /showrunner-sanctioned hit, is no stranger to the wrong side of the law, having served time both in LA and Hawaii for various well-publicized DUI offenses. "But what's her side of the story?" you've not likely asked yourself. The Lost Blog guides us to Rodriguez's own site, where she finally opens up about the rough justice she suffered at the hands of the corrupt American penal system that forced her to do 4 hours and 27 minutes of a 60-day sentence. It's all in there: The cockroach droppings! The alcohol-sensing robo-bracelet! The disparity between TV and film payscales! Read on, if you dare:

• Inside The 'Lost' Writers Room [Defamer]

To supplement the Survival Guide intended to get Lost fans up to speed on this season's intricately plotted story lines following the prolonged hiatus that finally ends tonight, ABC has just released this behind-the-scenes video clip of the show's writers' room, hoping that offering a glimpse into the hit series' creative process will make for a more fulfilling experience for its loyal viewers. As Lost's detail-obsessed producers are wont to hide clues in the show's promotional materials, we'd encourage everyone to pay close attention to the magical, top-hat-wearing turtle on the index card, which almost certainly will play a crucial role in unlocking all of the mysterious island's secrets over the course of the next 16 episodes.

While the big bomb dropped at yesterday's TCA press tour events involved Lost producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse unexpectedly announcing that they're looking to identify a creatively valid "end point" to their series (and ABC president Steve McPherson's seeming annoyance over the showrunners' yapping about those ongoing discussions) and rob ABC of an opportunity to explore the mysterious fates of heretofore unseen survivors from the "cargo hold" and "wing" sections of the doomed plane (the "Holdies" and "Wingies," respectively) in syndication-padding eight and ninth seasons, we found this nugget from the TV Week's Critical Eye junketblog an even more enthralling behind-the-scenes look at the series:

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has cut ties with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair for her reported underage carousing with Miss Temporarily Disgraced USA Tara Conner, but it's expected that she will quickly rebound to sign on as a spokesperson for Mothers Totally In Favor Of Hot And Horny Pageant Chicks Getting Coked Up And Making Out (MTIFOHAHPCGCUAMO).
Evangeline Lilly's Hawaiian house burnt down, but as Michelle Rodriguez has been off the show for a while, fire inspectors have already ruled out the possibility that conflagration was caused by a flaming mai-tai drinking contest gone horrible awry.
Christians prepare to protest the pregnant, virgin Komodo dragon expected to give birth around Christmas, claiming the reptile is making a mockery of the sacred holiday.
· Over at HuffPo, Studio 60's Steven Weber does his best impression of 30 Rock's Alec Baldwin.

· The WOW Report is all over Lindsay Lohan's next move should that angry letter from her producer hurt her future career prospects.
· The Franklin Avenue blog discovers what happens when Lost's producers get sloppy with the details: they have Hurley shrug it off. Sometimes a washing machine is just a washing machine, and not a Hanso Foundation conspiracy to drive people in the hatch crazy.
· AP entertainment editor writes headline, "Movie Prompts Barrymore to Take Up Poker," retrieves loaded revolver from desk drawer, blows brains out.
· More "Lance Bass used to pretend to be straight" hilarity: Giggle knowingly as Sharon Osbourne watches Bass shower and tries to set him up with her daughter.
· For that special lady in your life, Gawker's "Hot Piece of Twat" t-shirt.

In our first-ever Defamer Celebrity Service Announcement, an eagle-eyed operative offers some helpful advice to celebrities trying to avoid detection in public places: