Last night's Lost season finale—spoilers ahead—was as gripping as TV comes. (Even if you're like us and stopped watching regularly somewhere around Season Two, thus forcing you to concoct your own cockamamie plotlines. We've now settled on the island being a secret Revlon animal-testing facility from which no one escapes alive.) No sooner had we recovered from the hapless bunny accidentally sent back to King Arthur's Court, when googly-eyed island bully Ben dislodged the Land-Mass-Disappearing Frozen Donkey Wheel of Doom.

[This week, Jim Behrle's kartoon kitties don't go see the most important movie ever, do watch the most important TV show ever, and spread their usual joy and cheer. Exciting moving picture adventures await you below!]

Well, what did you think of Lost last night? Our friend at EW.com, Jeff "Doc" Jensen, liked it. Did you??

For every high-pitched shriek of rage we let loose after making it through a new episode of Lost without a single Big Question answered, there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to know what’ s going on anyway. Sure, it’d be nice if the epic’s smarmy producers decided to shed some light on what the four-toed statue from season two was all about, gave us some clues about the Smoke Monster, or what Josh Holloway might look like as a member of the full-frontal nudity club, but maybe getting some answers would weaken our obsession. At least that’s how we felt before hearing today that a sole cast member knows for sure exactly how the series will end. And we have a feeling that between now and 2010, they might wind up “blurting it out” despite assurances.

The flash forward is an intriguing way give impetus to a show which has lost viewers in its fourth outing, and provide something of a trailer for its return in the autumn. But the writers will have a hard time maintaining suspense when Desperate Housewives comes back on the air.

As everyone knows by now, watching Lost is akin to having Damon Lindelof mount a stepladder week in and week out, and proceed to engage in vigorous intercourse with the squishy contents of your skull. Last night's episode was no exception, offering us [spoiler alert] a flash-forward to Matthew Fox's Jack, who, in a shower-reveal scene reminiscent of a gender-reversed "Bobby's return" from Dallas, is shown to be living with Kate back home. This Jack, however, sported not the rabbi-envy-inducing beard teased in Season Three's finale. Now bear with us, if you will, as we tumble even further down the manscaping rabbit hole:

So, that was a really good episode of Lost, right? The perfect blend of season one-style human drama, with enough mystery-solvin' (well, sort of) to satisfy the new, frenzied pace of the show. I am starting to love Miles, for all his mysterious ghost hearing (and seeing? Claire??) Also, a fun theory tossed out by a friend last night: Ben can't kill Charles Widmore because they're each other's constant. Makes sense! Doc Jensen's typically excellent recap is here.

Aliens, Raiders of the Lost Ark, pyramids, and broken spaceships all might have something to do with Lost. More immediately, though, we're getting a Jack flash-forward that may explain the pill popping... and something about his father. [EW]

It finally returns tonight, with smoke monsters, gun battles, and mysterious trips to the desert. Be still my squiggly, obsessed heart.

Lost executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof struck a note of reassurance for the actors they have so callously murdered this season in a conference call yesterday. Their message to their cast: death could be the best thing that ever happened to you. As show honcho Carlton Cuse put it, "The good thing about Lost is that, a lot of the time, being dead leads to more work on the show. Actually, you can kind of improve your standing in the cast by being killed." Having crammed an eight episode story arc into four hours and a two-hour season finale on May 29, the show's writers will ferret six castaways off the island, and you can bet there will be blood. Promo photos for the series return already show an ailing Jack (Matthew Fox) being tended to by his new boo Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) and Fox has admitted he thinks he might be next. While it's more likely a bait and switch, he'll want to flip to the end of his script with trepidation, as past casualties haven't fared well on or off the show.

After all her fun-filled DUIs and failures to properly account for them, we expect nothing but the nastiest quotes to drip from jailbird Michelle Rodriguez's mouth. And most recently, she's directing her curse-filled anger towards we, the media. As the SCRAM bracelet-wearing actress tells Latina, anyone who dares to hypothesize about her sexuality and whether she likes girls or boys is just plain "slime":

Spoiler Alert? Entertainment Weekly's Doc Jensen spent three days on the Lost set recently, exploring what's in store for the final five episodes of this most exciting of seasons. Ben in a woolly parka! A gun battle in Locke's camp! A body mysteriously washing up on shore! Another "game-changer"! By season's end we'll know how the Oceanic 6 got off the island, what happened to those who stayed behind, and who was in that damn coffin. Oh, and the show will completely buck its traditional format, much like J.K. Rowling did with book 7 of her Harry Potter series. Sounds exciting. It's almost too much to bear. It's April 23rd today and sweet, sweet Lost comes back tomorrow, right? [EW]

· If you're anything like us, you frequently watch Lost and wonder what in the sam hell is going on. Well, as it turns out, the characters are thinking the very same thing. [/Film]
· On the hunt for a birthday present for that friend of yours who's a real history buff? Look no further. [Custom Ink]
· We're loathe to admit it, but yes, we are a little bit hooked on Rock Of Love 2. For those of you out there who also suffer from the same affliction, this one is for you. Remember in yesterday's episode when Ambre claimed that she was a TV host? Well, here's the evidence. [Radar]
· This has precious little to do with our normal topics of conversation here on Defamer, but your Uncle Grambo's world was slightly rocked this weekend when my all-time favorite female musician wrote about my second favorite rockstar of all-time. Here's Liz Phair on Dean Wareham's new book, Black Postcards. [New York Times]
· Lastly, if you are on the hunt for a great website that covers all things retail related in LA (and, frankly, who isn't?), we would like to suggest that you pay a visit to the recently launched Racked LA. Definitely worth a click. [Racked LA]

This "Time Loop" Lost theory is crazy and a bit garbled, but some interesting questions are raised, namely: does the author like living in the basement?

Who's gonna die (Chahleee) on Lost tonight? As always, Doc Jensen at EW.com has got theories. His top pick? Karl, Alex's dopey-cute boyfriend. That would follow in the grand of tradition of over-hyped TV deaths always being some slightly random peripheral character. He also has an interesting idea about Desmond and Penelope being the Adam & Eve skeletons. Craaaazy. Who do you think will bite it?

Spoiler Alert: Eek! So the "man on the boat" is definitely Michael. Well, as definite as things on this show get. Fun time travel theories abound as well. [EW.com]

Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

Stalker tip: "Just saw Michael Emerson, aka Ben, leader of The Others on Lost. He was walking down 23rd St. deep in conversation with a friend. Well-dressed in a chocolate-brown suede bomber jacket and little rimless glasses. Taller and better-looking in person than you might expect, though still kind of anonymous-looking; if I hadn't happened to look him right in the face I never would have noticed him. Still, my first reaction was a little chill of fear."

· Freckles. Cowboy. Skeletor. Sweetheart. Mergatroid Murgatroyd. Chachi. Oliver Twist. Hoss. Just a handful of the nicknames that Sawyer has called people on Lost over the years. [YouTube via Detroit News]
· We have no idea how they pulled this off, but 23/6 managed to get their paws on an "advance copy of the table of contents" of the Olsen Twins' new book, Influence. [23/6]
· Treehouse Of Horror: The Movie? Hank Azaria floats the idea of an anthology movie for the next Simpsons big screen adventure. [MTV Movies Blog]
· We always thought those Monster cables the goons at Best Buy always try to bully you into buying were ridiculously overpriced. That said, we always just kind of assumed that they must work. Turns out we were wrong about the second part. [Consumerist]
· The trailer for Once gets sweded. [Hollywood Elsewhere]

It simply has to be said: holy shit Lost last night was completely insane. American Idol (dying a quick death) was not.