Leave Britney Alone Guy, it seems, fundamentally misunderstands what is expected of him in exchange for the meteoric, disposable fame he's derived from those two minutes of carefully calculated YouTube histronics.

Even though the clip's ultimate purpose is unclear—unless it's intended to create a viral abomination that will rampage through the internet, destroying every bears-in-hammocks video in its path—it did, like all provocative works of art, cause us to ponder an uncomfortable question: namely, how can we live in a world where LBAG can rack up 9 million views en route to his own possible reality show, while a gifted improvisational performer like Atene is forced to toil in development-deal-free obscurity? God, we are forced to conclude, has turned His back on the YouTubes.

"Chris first got on our radar a year ago," said 44 Blue prexy/co-founder Rasha Drachkovitch, who said he wants to develop a show that plays to Crocker's strengths.

· Despite being led to believe that Megatron was the gay one, something about hearing the plea from the reassuring-yet-authoritative lips of Optimus Prime really made us reconsider our callous response to the singer's disastrous VMA performance:

In a MySpaceTV! Exclusive!, Leave Britney Alone Guy (and yes, we know his name, he's only like the most famous person on the planet at the moment) offers to join his embattled hero in a suicide pact should she be driven to self-annhilation by the cruel words of insensitive bloggers. [MySpaceTV]