Love takes a Geldof girl under her wing, which can only lead to disaster. Drew Barrymore blames her parents for her problems, and so does Michael Douglas' smack addict kid. Brangelina's new Voight-related headache, Michael Kors' weird bellybutton. TGIFriday gossip.

Tonight, Larry King talked to a bald guy who apparently is the leader of a religion? The Dalai Lama? Anyway, King managed to get him to shut up about world peace for long enough to talk about Tiger Woods.

When Larry King asked David Paterson tonight if his blindness made it hard for him to read the tabloid headlines about a story he claims doesn't exist, we understood the true meaning of "Kafkaesque".

Rosario Dawson leaving the Bowery Hotel ... Keanu Reeves walking in SoHo ... Larry King picking up food on Madison Avenue ... Renee Zellweger arriving at JFK ... Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox walking in the East Village ... Madonna arriving at the Kabbalah Center in Midtown with her kids ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts in Soho pushing their kids in strollers ... Amanda Seyfried picking up coffee in the East Village ... Natalie Portman taking a break on the set of Black Swan ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse in the Village ... and an unrecognizable Kate Gosselin leaving the Ted Gibson Salon before heading to dinner at Butter.

Tonight, Brittany Murphy's mother and husband gave an exclusive interview to Larry King about the death of the actress. The whole thing was fishy, but one moment—in which the morning of her death was recounted—was particularly troubling.

Tonight's Larry King Live ran the pop culture gamut: Jay Leno on Oprah, John and Elizabeth Edwards—even an appearance by non-gay Ted Haggard and wife Gayle. The best moment, though, was a sassy caller from Boca Raton. *Snaps*

• Negotiations between Conan O'Brien and NBC didn't wrap up today, as expected. Conan is holding out for more severance for the employees who will lose their jobs. Or "posturing" as part of a "PR ploy," to use NBC's words. [NYT]
• Related: Conan has a big lineup planned for the rest of the week, which will be his last. And NBC's Jeff Zucker played defense with Charlie Rose last night.
• Larry King's celebrity telethon for Haiti last night raised $9 million. [Us]
• Speaking of Haiti, do there really need to be hundreds upon hundreds of reporters on the ground covering the disaster from every angle and also gobbling up very precious resources in the process? Good question. [TNR]
• Rumor has it the Times is going to begin charging for online content soon. The plan comes with some pros and cons, as you might expect. [AdAge, PC]
• Apple will probably unveil its tablet computer on Jan. 27. [WP, ZDNet]
• Related: HarperCollins is in talks to put its books on the tablet. [WSJ]
• It's been a full year since Glenn Beck started spewing on Fox News. [HP]
• Obits: Mystery writer Robert Parker died yesterday. Kate McGarrigle, the Canadian folk singer and mother of Rufus Wainwright, has died, too.

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Tonight on CNN, a special two-hour edition of Larry King Live is underway. The official point of the broadcast is to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Unofficially, it's about the celebrities and their precious "Tweet Suite."

In your mawkish Monday media column: James Dobson coming to your sexxxy radio dial, a rumor of perfidy at McGraw-Hill, an editor passes away, and Larry King and Pete Wentz team up to save Haiti.

Tonight, SNL opened with a Larry King Live parody that addressed the mess at NBC over its late night lineup. It sucked. What didn't suck, however, was Seth Meyers' anti-NBC rant during the Weekend Update segment. Video of both, inside.

• This is going to come as a big shock to you, we're sure, but it seems Alex Rodriguez has been hooking up with several women since splitting up with Kate Hudson. A-Rod also "keeps bragging that Madonna is still texting him all the time," although for Madonna's sake, let's hope that isn't true. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie has been dropped as the face of the clothing brand St. John in favor of red-headed model (and the wife of Jack White) Karen Elson. Why the change? It seems St. John concluded that Jolie was too famous and had "overshadowed the brand." [NYDN]
• Related: Did Brad Pitt deal weed in college? No, but he kind of looks like he may have what with that scraggly beard he's been sporting recently. [NYP]
• Usher had more than $1 million in jewelry, furs, and electronics stolen from his SUV in mid-December. Exactly why he had all this stuff stored in his car of all places—and why he only noticed now—is unclear. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila was set to be interviewed on Larry King Live, but CNN yanked the "Casey Johnson tribute" at the last minute. Did the network realize giving a mentally-ill publicity addict was a bad idea? (Unlikely; the Balloon Boy dad was a guest the other night.) Maybe CNN worried about getting sued? Who knows, but you can always go to Twitter (where she's tweeted about Johnson's death more than 160 times over the past week), or go to People's website for your "Tila Tequila exclusive interview," if you must. [TMZ, E!, People]

In your thawing Thursday media column: Further evidence that Larry King is losing it (more so), Ted Koppel's still got that pizzazz, troubles at Print magazine, and everything remotely associated with the Redskins is corrupt.

Tonight, our favorite suspender-wearing, cute as a button CNN host—Larry King—ran a Christmas-themed special. Filled mostly with musical numbers from Sting, David Archuleta and others, the episode's highlight was Queen Latifah's interesting rendition of The Night Before Christmas.

So tonight Larry King was just like, "Screw it. We're never going to get Tiger Woods now, so let's just show an interview from 1998." There were some funny parts where it sounded like Tiger was talking about sex!

Awkward, unexplained live television moments—a la Spaghetti Cat—have been popping up a lot recently. Last month, it was Miss Piggy on Dancing with the Stars. Tonight, we present a plethora of WTF, courtesy of Larry King Live.

Jack Dorsey, the creator of Twitter and the man you can blame for destroying your productivity at work, turns 33 today. Fashion designer Calvin Klein is turning 67. Meg Ryan is 48. Today show news anchor Ann Curry is turning 53. Former GE CEO Jack Welch is 74. Ted Turner is turning 71. Jodie Foster is 47. Restaurant-less chef Rocco DiSpirito turns 43. Model Daria Werbowy is 26. Actress Allison Janney is 50. WNYC president Laura Walker is 52. TV legend Dick Cavett turns 73. Jerry Sheindlin, the former People's Court judge and husband of Judge Judy, is turning 76. Former football player and sportscaster Ahmad Rashad is 60. And Larry King is 76 today, or just 24 years away from celebrating his centennial.

• Down-and-out former pageant queen Carrie Prejean must be getting really desperate: She's turning to Donald Trump for career advice. Trump suggested she "become a major porn star," make tons of cash and then "give it to worthy causes." Clearly, it's this type of forward thinking that has made Trump the business titan he is. [P6]
• Nic Cage's lawyer now says the countersuit by the actor's former business manager—Samuel Levin claims he warned Cage about his "compulsive, self-destructive spending" years ago—is "ridiculous." As for Cage himself, he's in Somalia right now facing down evil pirates since he's under the impression that his life is one big action movie, but says he'll sort everything out once he gets back to the States. [P6]
• Lou Dobbs is taking a vacation now that he's no longer with CNN. Mexico is not on his travel itinerary, in case you were wondering. [NYP]
• Larry King's 10-year-old son is the luckiest boy in all of Los Angeles today: He's been signed to host his own cable TV show. Ain't nepotism grand? [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's dad says his daughter's new breast implants are leaking, which is why she's been in the hospital recently. But presumably that's to be expected if you poke yourself with needles all day, no? [Sun]

• Did you catch dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean's hissy fit on Larry King Live last night? It was awkward TV at its finest. [TMZ, YouTube]
• Mike Tyson had a meltdown of his own yesterday. When a paparazzo got a little too close for comfort at LAX, Tyson dropped the photog to the floor with one punch to the face. Both men were later arrested. [LAT, NYDN]
• The latest recorded phone call courtesy of Michael Lohan has Dina Lohan telling her ex that "time is running out" for Lindsay and she's started drinking again. As for how LiLo feels about having her dad air the family's dirty laundry: "My father knows nothing other than now to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." Lindsay is a normal person with a real job? Who'd have guessed? [Radar, MSNBC]
• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone were supposed to get married over the summer. But it never happened and now Martone says the couple's decided to wait until after the holidays to tie the knot. "Who wants to get married during a busy season like this? I don't want my friends having to use their lunch break to get me gifts." How thoughtful! [P6]

Lou Dobbs wasn't the only right-wing populist to attempt a dramatic CNN exit last night. Unfortunately, he's the only one who succeeded, because former Miss California and Christianist poster girl Carrie Prejean can't even throw a proper on-set hissy fit.