[Fashion martyr Lady Gaga dons the traditional garb of a hood and wayfarers while on a pilgrimage through the streets of Jerusalem earlier today. Image via Getty]

Leighton Meester acts obnoxiously in a fancy Hamptons restaurant, Bernie Madoff boned his secretaries, Shania Twain is an Idol judge, NeNe was a stripper, Erin Andrews gets dirty for GQ, Madonna turns 51, and Sean Penn's marriage is officially over.

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

While we're pretty sure that Lady Gaga isn't a hermaphrodite, we're still not entirely convinced. Let's go digging through her cover shoot for the new issue of Out looking for the nubbin, shall we?

Last Week, Lady Gaga accidently/on-purpose showed off her penis to the world. We don't think she's really a hermaphrodite, but the fiction has already joined the great pantheon of celebrity urban myths.

Madonna regrets breaking up with Guy Ritchie because she's bored schtupping young men. Kate Major's still talking, for some reason, about Jon Gosselin. Leighton Meester went shopping and the SWAT team was called in. Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Lady Gaga has a knack for getting attention. So it's no surprise that video of the singer revealing a mini-penis at a concert successfully captured the attention of the Googling hordes. Britney Spears would be proud of this NSFW non-slip-up.

Brad and Angelina enjoy pool sex, Lady Gaga is a confirmed hermaphrodite, Constantine Maroulis gets beat up over Paula Abdul at Ciprianis, Patrick Swayze is recovering nicely, Britney looks good in a white bikini and Paris and Douglas Reinhardt reunite.

An article in the latest issue of Out says that more gay bars are popping up all over the country. That is very true, and it could be the worst thing to happen to gay culture since Judy Garland Died.

Cameron Diaz is a playa, Jessica Simpson drowns her dumping sorrows with friends, Lilo and Sam Ronson engage in an epic fight over Drea De Matteo, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are engaged and Jeffrey Donovan get a DUI.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are probably boning, Mischa Barton has a serious "medical issue," Jon Gosselin's new lady is a walking white-trash stereotype, The Hoff parties with Lady Gaga, Madonna has "bingo wings" and Robert Redford gets married.

Harry Potter and Gossip Girl finally meet in the middle, Jon Gosselin wants to capitalize on the worst fashion trend in the History of the Universe, Robert Pattinson's good in bed, Jim Carry's a scary grandparent, and celebrity DUI time!

[Lady Gaga in Paris, France; image via INF]

Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.

Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out.

Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z.

Britney is planning the "filthiest aftershow party" to ever hit the UK, Lady Gaga wants to bang all the Jonas Brothers at the same time, Lindsay Lohan is seeking to enter fashion as a "creative consultant," and the Susan Boyle crazy breakdown story gets even sadder.

[Lady Gaga greets a little girl in Sydney, shortly before flipping her over and playing her like a mandolin; image via INF]

[Lady Gaga in Sydney today; image via Splash]

May 5th @ 2:30pm Walking with a bodyguard and a short rotund older lady in a pink spandex outfit. [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]