Brad and Angelina enjoy pool sex, Lady Gaga is a confirmed hermaphrodite, Constantine Maroulis gets beat up over Paula Abdul at Ciprianis, Patrick Swayze is recovering nicely, Britney looks good in a white bikini and Paris and Douglas Reinhardt reunite.

  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoy boning in the grotto attached to their pool, according to Brad Pitt. But really, what's the use of having a grotto if you're not going to bone in it? [Sun]

  • Many people have speculated that Lady Gaga might be a hermaphrodite, and then she came out recently and said "I have both a poon and a peener," and now this video of her "peener" popping out during a performance confirms it—Lady Gaga is a chick with a dick. [Bossip]

  • American Idol alum Constantine Maroulis got his ass kicked at Cipriani Wall Street the other night after getting into an argument with another guy about Paula Abdul. Yeah, this is a great story. [Gatecrasher]

  • Josh Lucas say that he hates LA because is the vortex of suck in the universe and he loves New York because New York is the world's golden vagina, but everyone already knows that, right? [Page Six]

  • The Gods are smiling today because Paris Hilton and Douglas Reinhardt are reconciling to bring their tainted nether bits back together so that their bodies can once again form one giant human Petri dish. [Page Six]

  • After being pronounced dead on the internet at least a dozen times, Patrick Swayze is looking like he's getting better. [Daily News]

  • Leonardo DiCaprio is dating yet another Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Where does he find them all? Does he order them from a freaking catalog or something? [Page Six]

  • Gotta admit it, Britney Spears looks pretty damn good in this white bikini. Britney's back baby! Or something. [Daily Mail]

  • Queen Latifah enjoyed a lovely evening recently at a lesbian club on 14th street ordering bottle service for the friends she was sharing a table with. [Page Six]