• Are Jude Law and Sienna Miller back together? That's what it looked like when the duo were seen cavorting at The Box last Thursday, but reps for the two are denying it. [NYDN]
• Either Jay-Z is a really thoughtful husband or Beyoncé is a bit of a control freak, but Jay refused to take photos with the models at the Victoria's Secret fashion show last week supposedly "out of respect" for his wife. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has officially taken Seal's last name and is now Heidi Samuel. Please update your address books, thanks. [People]
• The American Music Awards took place last night. Some highlights: Taylor Swift won three awards; Michael Jackson won four posthumous prizes; Lady Gaga set a piano on fire; Adam Lambert's S&M-themed closing act involved getting a mock blowjob and kissing a male band member; and Jennifer Lopez fell down on her most famous asset, but she managed to pick herself up and carry on as if nothing had happened. [People, MSNBC, TMZ]

Socialite, model, and cool movie star Lydia Hearst loves her some Twitter. While it's great to tell us that she's going to a Twilight screening tonight (OMG!), she should not use it to engage the right-wingnuts who attack her.

Lady Gaga stopped by for a superfluous visit to badly lip sync "Bad Romance." There were plenty of bad romantic decisions as totally yucky couples started to come together and ruin the power dynamics on the Upper East Side.

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

Beyonce and Lady Gaga leak a clip from their forthcoming music video; Levi Johnston disguises himself as the Unabomber; at least one member of Congress thinks Carrie Prejean should run for office. Welcome to Tuesday's gossip.

[Pink piano, hot guy in a tux, fashion, butterflies, handicrafts—Lady Gaga's performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art anniversary gala in L.A. last night was pretty queer even for her. Image via Getty]

• Did David Letterman's wife boot him out of the house because he "balked at telling her the complete truth about the female staffers he bedded"? That's what the National Enquirer has been claiming, although his spokesman says it isn't true. So maybe he's just still sleeping on the couch. [NYDN]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital for the 143rd time. It was due to an "adverse reaction" she had to cold medicine. Naturally. [Mirror]
• A brawl at a club in Queens over the weekend led cops to shoot a man who once worked as a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NYP]
• Paris Hilton is "declaring war" on the Kardashian sisters because they're more famous than she is these days and they're earning more money, too. Paris has "hatched a plan" to return to her former perch as tabloid queen, however. It entails launching a new hair and beauty line and playing up her "more stable relationship with Doug Reinhardt." [P6]

[Lady Gaga show the host of German talk show Wetten, dass...? just how big her penis really is. Image via Getty]

• Nicole Kidman isn't as vanilla as she looks, apparently. She tells British GQ that she has experimented with "obsession" and "strange sexual fetish stuff," although it's unclear when all this happened. As for her marriage to Keith Urban? It's "a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous." [DM, P6]
• The first of Lindsay Lohan's dramatic calls to her dad Michael has been released, and luckily, it comes accompanied by on-screen subtitles although you may need to shower after. At one point, she tells her dad, "Mommy says that I'm worse than you are," and then, between sobs, manages to ramble on, "No one cares about me. They don't, by the way. It's about how they feel, not how I feel. It's not about me. It's never been about me." Sad. [Radar]
• In happier news, Jeremy Piven is feeling much better now that he's added soy milk to his list of food products he will no longer touch. (You may remember his little run-in with sushi last year.) Piven was chugging 12 cups of soy milk a day, but then he realized it contained estrogen and was responsible for giving him man-boobs. "It was a very confusing time," he says. [Us]

Celebrity photographer A.J. Sokalner was working the rope line at the ACE Awards in Manhattan last night. Just after Lady Gaga arrived, he collapsed and died of a heart attack. Not how anyone deserves to go. [PDN]

Last night, Saturday Night Live did a re-run of the fairly interesting Ryan Reynolds-hosted episode from earlier this month. In it was a skit with musical performer Lady Gaga and a Madonna cameo. But they re-aired the funnier, racier version.

Wow. Do we have a special one today. Jon Gosselin, seeking help from a rabbi. Alex Rodriguez thinks he's a centaur. Jessica Simpson's man requirements. Lady Gaga's ballet. RobPatz's marriage prospects. Presenting your epic Halloween Morning Gossip Roundup. Get scared:

The celebrity chef and his jilted bride Erica Wang continue to duke it out. No one knows anything about Brad Pitt's motorcycle accident, Lindsay Lohan has a whole new drug, Madonna's kids are skipping school. It's Monday. There is gossip.

Apparently no one was listening the first time we went over this because now there is Balloon Boy costume for sale. Don't you dare! We also have some other played-out ideas to add to the list.

Leave it to the gays to take something old and tired and make it exciting again. Radical gay activist group Bash Back has committed the first act of "glamdalism." It's like vandalism, but with pink paint and glitter grenades.

If you thought it was going to be a while before you saw Lady Gaga's chyron on C-Span, think again. Our Lady of the Immaculate Penis spoke at the National Equality March on Washington today. We have video.

Barbra Streisand pulls off upset victory in the battle for gay America's musical soul.

• Jeremy Piven, now fully recovered from his bout with mercury poisoning, has been squiring lots of women around town in recent days. He was out with "a super-pretty African American girl" last Friday; a day later, he was at the Rangers season opener with "a gorgeous blond." Let this be another reminder, however, that short, balding guys can date whoever they want as long as they're on a hit TV show. [P6]
• Producers for Tinsley Mortimer's reality show are reportedly having a hard time getting her friends to sign on. Peter Davis, the Tinz's half-brother-in-law, wrote on Facebook that he has "zero interest in playing a warped, twisted version of myself on television." And socialites Zani Gugelmann and Dani Stahl have also passed. So far the only person confirmed is her sister, Dabney Mercer. So does that mean her ex, Topper Mortimer, is out, too? [P6]
• Padma Lakshmi has said she'd like to keep her pregnancy a private matter. And judging by pictures of her at various parties this week, she's barely showing. But none of that stopped her from telling a reporter that she needs to keep her belly "really lubricated" these days: "Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower," she said. "It's really like basting a turkey with body butter." [People]

• The Letterman mess rolls on. The Late Show host issued another apology on his show last night, describing how the scandal has impacted his wife, Regina Lasko ("She's been horribly hurt by my behavior"), and kindly pointing out that he's not having sex with any of his current staffers. Meanwhile, Stephanie Birkitt, the woman at the center of the "scandal," supposedly wrote in her diary that she was dating alleged extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman and sleeping with Letterman as recently as last fall, leading Halderman to flip out when he read her diary in December. [NYP, NYDN]
• So are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged? While Cruz's rep went with "no comment," Bardem's flack said, "I really don't know, but would not be able to say anything even if I did." That sounds like a "yes" to us! [People]
• Celebrity chef Todd English skipped out of his wedding at the last minute this past weekend. His jilted bride went ahead with the party anyway, while English headed to South Beach to hit the bars and clubs. Classy. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has filed documents to change her name to "Heidi Samuel," since that's Seal's last name. Please update your address book accordingly. [TMZ]

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos leaving the gym ... Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr going to brunch at Bubby's in Tribeca... Oliver Stone talking to his crew on the set of Wall Street 2 ... Sienna Miller reading a script while sitting outside Cafe Gitane on Mott Street ... Will Ferrell walking around on the set of The Other Guy ... Zoe Kravitz leaving the premiere of Precious with dad Lenny ... Beyoncé arriving at a Billboard Music event at the Pierre Hotel ... Chace Crawford leaving his trailer on the Gossip Girl set ... Mischa Barton walking her dog downtown ... and Lady Gaga leaving the Saturday Night Live after-party at DBGB.