Andy Rooney took to the 60 Minutes airwaves Sunday night to let the whole world know: He has no clue who Lady Gaga is. But don't worry! He still likes ice cream. Click through for glorious video.

Gaga lost a British lingerie company's "prototype" underwear; Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are a sexual dyad; Bombshell says she banged tiger; Gabourey Sidibe was mean. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is a containment dome lowered over a pipe leaking gossip.

She'll profit from a massive advertainment campaign for it, even as she fights it. Sandra Bullock is leaving L.A. for good. (We think.) Courtney Love reveals a depressing sex secret. Kenny Chesney's home is underwater. Here's your Thursday gossip.

Between the OUT Magazine cover shot and his scene-stealing role on Modern Family, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is riding pretty high these days. And just when we thought he's done it all, he goes and does Gaga.

The purported Britney Spears demo of "Telephone"—originally written for Spears by Lady Gaga before Gaga hit it big—has leaked. That sound you just heard was "BritBrit" overtaking "Bieber" on Twitter. We have the track, and some theories.

In a dusty storeroom in Afghanistan, seven soldiers stand in formation. Lady Gaga is on the sound system. They dance. Videos like these from the frontline are a far cry from candid camera hazing rituals that usually grab the spotlight.

Yesterday we met a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers who, in their free time in Afghanistan, remade Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video, with glorious results. Today, The Smoking Gun introduces us to the lip-syncing stars of the 82nd Airborne Division. [TSG]

This video shows a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers remaking the "Telephone" video. The result is magnificent. Alternating between regulation camo and spangled leotards, our men in Afghanistan swing their hips, snap their wrists, and twinkle their toes like pros.

After her jihad against fish sticks, she waged war on photographers angling for a Kate Hudson upskirt. Paris Hilton has a dancefloor fun-off. Lady Gaga does not subsist on baby food. Is Julia Roberts jealous of Sandra? Thursday gossip ahoy!

"Oh my Gaga" is the new "Oh my God" in China, apparently. [via]

This is one of those videos that makes you laugh uncontrollably, yet you're not quite sure why. Here, Beyoncé sits with Britney Spears, Lady Gaga and Rihanna as they go through their Number Ones—until an uninvited guest interrupts.

This week, electropop duo La Roux achieved what few British artists have, recently: Their single "Bulletproof" broke into the U.S. Top 40. Who are La Roux, and why did we provocatively suggest they are the Thinking Person's Lady Gaga?

Celibacy is not the pearly-gated Utopia that so many Americans think it is. It's been a hit in our puritanical country for centuries, but with Lady Gaga on board it's enjoying a new hipness. This is a very bad idea.

Good news for Lady Gaga stalkers: One of your own penetrated Gaga's inner sanctum, broke into her dressing room, "stalkerishly touch[ed]" her clothes, stole her itinerary, and put it on his blog. Bad news for Lady Gaga: See above.

Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.

Hey, girl, hey! Timmy is in da house, dressed from head to thigh in Mickey Mouse pajamas and armed with a makeshift banana microphone, ready to entertain you with his ~stunning~ rendition of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." Video inside. *Snaps*

On Monday night's episode of Dancing with the Stars, Kate Gosselin made a ~statement~ about her bad press with a horrible—and horribly awkward—dance to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi." Last night, Jimmy Fallon brilliantly reenacted it. Video of both inside.

Betty has made it. She now sits front row at fashion week! In the scene the writers have planted a Lady Gaga look-alike next to her, as if Betty's saying "Gaga, I am now in your league!"

The pop music thingamajig is the top target for the film's producers to ink and sing the ditty for the franchise. Be careful, she might try to change the title to "Skipaldeedoo Gobbeldygook" to fit her lyrics.[Getty]

If there's anything that could improve upon the already legendary Telephone video, it's a healthy dose of Grover and the Yip Yips. Now all we need is Bert and Ernie superimposed into the Telephone vid...come on internet, make it happen!