A new government report says that 38% of American women aged 15-44 have never ever been married, not even once. What is wrong with them? Something. Nobody likes them? Apparently. Anyhow. They're not as hopeless as everyone thinks!

Perpetual Palin enemy number one, the pro-choice PAC EMILY's List has responded to last week's contraception controversy with an ad of their own. It uses Foster Friess' Aspirin recommendation and the woman who narrates all Kotex pad commercials to get "YOU," ladies, riled up over the issue.

The last time overeducated lit mag n+1 wrote a big think piece about a blog, they chased all the smart people away from this here website forever. Now, n+1 is back with yet another in their peerless "How to Overthink Things on the Internet That, In Actuality, Have Little if Any Overarching Theme or Philosophy." This one's for the ladiesssssssss!

Molly Fischer has thoughts about several popular internet "ladyblogs." Like what?

A few years ago, some dude actually found his "dream girl"—meaning some pretty girl he happened to spot on the New York subway—by drawing a picture of her, making a website, and watching it go viral. That had, at least, the whiff of being a clever idea with a happy ending. Then there's this.

Although scientists tell us that women are just as smart and capable as men, women still hold far fewer top corporate jobs than their ball-having counterparts. The reason? Probably something women are doing wrong. Allow us to help.

Today we heard a little anecdote, as a means of showing how women's friendships work, about a group of Tennessee ladies who get up at 5:15am every day to go hike. 5:15? To exercise?? Oh hellll no, said one commenter.

We well-meaning men have been trying to tell you this for years, ladies: your fancy hairdo is dumb. And it sucks up time that could be better spent on other things like, I don't know, just to pick an example out of thin air... doing some exercise to get yourself in shape, for once.

Here's a thing that the genius multibillion-dollar marketing industry did, probably at a cost of millions upon millions of dollars: instead of saying "incontinence," now we say "light bladder leakage," because that term is "less stigmatizing." See how much better it sounds? "Light bladder leakage." It's not all medical-y. It's just very plain and upfront to let people know, yes, urine is leaking from my bladder, lightly, and hey, I'm still human.

Although USA Today dedicates the bulk of its reporting resources to angels and infographic porn, the paper is also committed to being America's primary source of news about What Ladies Are Doing. The answer? Partying&mdashif you know what we mean.

Last week the UK papers reported that O.G. Tough Conservative Lady Margaret Thatcher had zero interest in hanging out with creepy-media obsession Sarah Palin during Palin's upcoming visit to London. Now a former Thatcher aide says those news stories were bloody LIES.

Ben Stein—wacky creationist, conflict-of-interest-ridden former columnist, and slow-speaking Ferris Bueller teacher—is still in demand as a speaker, apparently, despite being provably wrong about things. But he's funny, by financial standards. Right? Yeah, too funny.

Last year, the best-selling magazine in America was Sandra Bullock's "Meet My Baby" issue of People. Second-best? Woman's World's "Dr. Oz's Metabolism Makeover!" issue, which features an image of Dr. Oz on its cover—right next to a picture of a pie (top left).

Remember to include the Unilever corporation on your Christmas card list this year, ladies: without their groundbreaking research, you wouldn't know enough to be publicly concerned about the hideousness of your armpit region.

Justin Rocket Silverman, who's posed shirtless and publicly fingerbanged his girlfriend for the sake of journalism, has now done a new sex-related thing, for journalism: "naked therapy," a made-up thing consisting of an attractive young woman removing her clothes as you pretend to talk about some personal issues, or whatever. Breasts.

Hey, ladies: Have you been longing for a diaper to sop up excess period blood? Not an ugly diaper, but a sleek sexy one? You're in luck: Here is a new product called Sexy Period™ panties. I am of two minds about it.

American Apparel's breakthrough new advertising strategy: pictures of comely women removing their panties—but drawn in pencil. This changes everything. We were wrong about you, AA. You're practically running an art museum over there. The NSFW ads are here. [Copyranter]

What is the point of "fashion?" The point of fashion is to repel men. Oh. Okay. Darn. This topic admittedly surpasses my understanding. Does it work, this fashion thing?

Last night's season finales of The Big C and Weeds demonstrated what HBO's oft-wayward younger brother does best. They make compelling, if ridiculous, drama about middle class women in precarious tight spots.

So maybe weed is bad for you, but on the other hand, drinking is good for you! If you're a middle-aged woman having a drink or two in the afternoon. Which—let's be honest—you are.

Ladies: Have you been "bitten" by the "baby bug?" If so, blame those bitches at your work, for messing with your mind. A new study says that women are helplessly influenced by that baby-having of their social betters.