Flawless goddess Beyoncé has plenty of admirers, but recent high-profile endorsements from her peers are almost disturbingly hyperbolic.

Well music, anyway.

"I wrote the song Perfect Bitch about Kim," Kanye West tweeted today, referencing the new song he unveiled in NYC over the weekend.

Charming! ;) [Twitter, while it lasts]

"Keep your life in a positive perspective. We are not defined by our pasts," socialite Kim Kardashian told her 15 million Twitter followers yesterday.

If you are a best friend or close friend or casual acquaintance of or do not really know Kanye West, chances are you are reading these words under the watchful gaze of a $34,000 gold skull statue recently given to you by Kanye West.

The thing about this lawsuit is that it hinges on the testimony of a man who might be more hungry for fame than Kim Kardashian and Kanye West combined.

That's what Kim's ex-husband Kris Humphries allegedly told his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj.

Twitterers last night collectively gasped at the sight of a big-bottomed birthday-suited girl alleged to be sex-tape thespian Kim Kardashian, but were quickly disillusioned: The photo proved to be a year-old twitpic snapped by porn star Amia Miley.

Hold on to your butt, Kim Kardashian, because Kris Humphries has supposedly moved on to another woman with curves so round and hair so dark. Her name is Fatmire Myla Sinanaj—it's Myla, actually—and she is in trouble for saying mean things about Bruce Jenner's face on Twitter.

It's been days since one of Beyoncé's back-up dancers tweeted a picture of herself posing with Kim Kardashian backstage at Beyoncé's triumphant return to the spotlight in glitzy Atlantic City, and the world is still no closer to knowing whether Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian are friends or enemies or frenemies or indifferent or one of them thinks they're friends and the other one is like "I don't know that person" or what.

Justin Bieber becomes a criminal battery suspect. Cynthia Nixon marries her girlfriend. Lindsay Lohan flees a $40,000 tanning salon bill. David Beckham likes to eat babies. Tuesday gossip is for old times' sake.

"Home is where the heart is." "Bless this mess." "Sometimes I get emotional over fonts."

Just three little old ladies doing what three little old ladies do: Watching Kim Kardashian: Superstar, and commenting on the size of Ray J's snake.

Both Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan will attend this Saturday's White House Correspondents' Dinner as guests of Fox News.

E! Entertainment Television announced today it has signed the Kardashian Klan to an unprecedented three-year, $40 million contract that guarantees at least three more season of the reality TV show family's flagship series, Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

In an outtake from Khole Kardashian's E! reality show Khloe & Lamar, big sister Kim revealed a diabolical plan to force the people of Glendale, California, to submit to her nefarious whims by becoming their mayor.

The fame cycle is complete: Following their much-watched Date of the Century, Kanye West has agreed to appear on the upcoming season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Radar Online reports.

Yesterday, Kim Kardashian was spotted with something that may have been a hickey. Today, TMZ reports that it totally is with the eye-grabbing headline, "HICKEY CONFIRMATION." Kim ostensibly earned this hickey from Kanye West, some time after seeing The Hunger Games but before eating pizza. (The timeline is still rough — stay glued to TMZ for updates.)

The Date of the Century may be over, but its memory lives on. Kim Kardashian wandered New York City today with what looked like a hickey on her neck. Might have been psoriasis, though.