North Korea was defeated handily by the Ivory Coast today, 3-0. Having not won a single game, our favorite squad of plucky autocratic regime subjects are returning home. There they'll face hard labor or an outpouring of nationalist appreciation.

Today is the 60th anniversary of the start of the Korean War, so naturally North Korea is stirring things up by imposing a shipping ban in its western waters. The South fears the North could be preparing more missile tests.

South Korea has detected levels of radiation eight times higher than normal along its border with North Korea, according to reports. North Korea last month said it conducted a nuclear fusion test—a step toward building a hydrogen bomb.

Still trying to figure out who you're supporting in the World Cup? How about North Korea? They might be playing as representatives of a starving hellhole ruled by a brutal, insane dictator. But their coach has an invisible telephone!

Ambushed in Macau by a South Korean newspaper, Kim Jong-nam, oldest son of Kim Jong-il, when asked about the sinking of the warship Cheonan said, "I do not know. Please stop." He said his father is "doing well." [JoongAng Daily]

Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe was apparently not content with merely sporting a Hitler moustache. He clearly felt his crazy despot credentials were lacking something. Which may be why he sent a boatload of animals to North Korea's Kim Jong Il.

Time Out New York's back cover this week is a glossy, upbeat travel ad for tours in... North Korea. We decided to take a look at eyewitness reports of life inside the country's brutal gulags to provide some context.

Well, at least in his own mind, he is. The North Korean communist newspaper Rodong Sinmun says that Kim's drab track suit, called the Pyongyang, is the newest trend sweeping the globe. Make way on the imaginary runways.

Another former employee of North Korea's secretive dictatorship — a personal shopper — has escaped to tell his story. Here's a roundup of the bizarre details he, and two chefs, told of their time working for the world's weirdest dictator.

On Monday, David ‘Axis of Evil' Frum compared the GOP's health care defeat to Napoleon's Waterloo, and chastised Rush Limbaugh. On Thursday he was booted from his right-wing think tank fellowship. We have some ideas for your next move, Dave!

Blessed 68th birthday wishes to maniacal Elvis doppelganger and beloved North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il! While outside agitators allege that Kim's mental and physical health is flagging, we have official word that the truth could not be more opposite.

Another American has wandered into North Korea. Was 2009 Kim Jong-Il's best year ever, or what?

In the grand tradition of the last two guys, Obama has written a "personal" letter to megalomaniac North Korea dictator Kim Jong-Il. But will Kimmy agree to go steady? Welcome to the middle school dance of international diplomacy.

North Korea is reopening its southern border to allow tourism and Korean family reunions.

Bill Clinton went on over to North Korea, met the crazy dictator there, and won: North Korea has pardoned Current TV reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee for their slanders and calumnies.

Bill Clinton came through. Last night the former president jetted off to North Korea to negotiate the releases of Laura Ling and Euna Lee, the two journalists who have been imprisoned since March after they were accused of crossing over into North Korean territory without permission. Now they'll be going home. Kim Jong-Il has issued a "special pardon" and agreed to release them. [Reuters]

Someday, one of whacked-out demon leader Kim Jong Il's sons is going to inherit the porcelain throne that is North Korea's government. What makes the spawn of a psychotic despot tick?

Remember North Korean's deranged little troll leader, Kim Jong Il, the one firing missiles into the Pacific lately like a ten year-old with bottle rockets on New Year's Eve? Well, he's been hacking into American and South Korean government computers!

Kim Jong-Il basically threatened to nuke America Thursday at a massive rally in North Korea.

Japanese intelligence has learned that Kim Jong Il plans to fire a Taepodong rocket at Hawaii, possibly on the 4th of July. Wait, what?!