It took several years for the ladies of Sex And The City to finally figure that whole cell phone thingie out (Carrie’s neon pink contraption in the series finale was one of the cutest/saddest attempts by a TV show to be “cool” we’ve ever seen) and, as these two leaked clips from the movie show, it’s taken them until now to conquer the Booty Text discussion. In the first clip — spoiler-phobes should avoid there eyes starting NOW — Sarah Jessica Parker brags to her assistant, played by Jennifer Hudson, about her texting ignorance before launching into a wink-filled lecture on what exactly your 20s, 30s and 40s are all about. And in the second, SJP brags to her hags about her brand new apartment before launching into a wink-filled lecture on boys ‘n real estate. We haven’t been winked at so many times since...the series finale of Sex And The City.

• An LA band called Lustra called out Miley Cyrus by name for a song that sounds way, way too much like one of their songs. But it turns out Cyrus doesn't write any of her own songs, so now the band kind of looks like a bunch of assholes. [P6]

What is it about London that makes otherwise prim actresses turn into girls gone wild? At last night’s premiere of SATC: The Movie across the pond, sex book author and Police Academy alum Kim Cattrall decided to do away with those pesky accessories we’re all (aside from Britney) forced to wear in public: her shoes. The good news? As Cameron Diaz proved at the premiere of Charlie’s Angels, walking the red carpet barefoot attracts some great press. The bad? Cattrall’s shoe-less night on the town revealed the most frightening pair of tootsies we’ve seen in recent memory, and Kim’s reported late-night behavior was eerily reminiscent of the night Renee Zellweger painted London red last month.

[The Sex and the City actress arriving at the after party for the film's London premiere; image via Bauer-Griffin]

• There is no goddamned way animal-hating monster Paris Hilton actually said this to justify her alleged competitive need to conceive: "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."

An early warning to SATC fans reading: potential spoilers lay ahead. That said, we have caught wind of one of the most intriguing (some might argue, the only intriguing) rumors regarding what to expect from the Most Important Movie Of The Year. It involves the possibility that one of the main Sex And The City characters, namely Mr. Big, will bite the bullet in the Cosmo-drenched show's big-screen debut. And director Michael Patrick King has been ingeniously coy when it comes to responding to all the death chatter:

Okay, you clever SATC minxes. Your masterfully executed plan to generate press for The Most Important Movie Of The Year Century has officially come full-circle. First, Kristin Davis just happened to appear all over our computer screens being attacked by a massive Segel, then Cynthia Nixon gave a far more ladylike interview breaking the news of her former struggle with breast cancer. But today, in "Me Too!" attempts to pipe in and get their names in the papers, both Sarah Jessica "Sex Is Icky" Parker and Kim Cattrall are gabbing and blabbing about completely irrelevant and ancient stories about marriage and age-old rumors. But hearing about how SJP's marriage sucks and how Kim likes money don't really compare to inspirational disease fighters and nudie photos. Though, it is shamefully fun to hear Parker tell us once again why being married to Matthew Broderick is like riding "rather treacherous train rides":

For what seems like an entire century, ladies and ladyboys have been anxiously awaiting the release of the ultimate "chick flick," Sex And The City: The Movie (have we mentioned how godawful that title is by the way?). In any case, yesterday we had the privilege of seeing the final one-sheet for the film which is set to open next month. And almost immediately, we began griping about it (annoyingly, just the way Carrie Bradshaw whined over her column's bus ad during the first season). After the jump, we discuss all the various problems with this image, from that dress to that font to, well, almost everything, boiled down into three primary points:

· Sure, Rickrolling is a fun way to amuse yourself while harmlessly pranking your friends. But were you aware it might have added benefits, such as quieting your cranky infant? [YouTube]
· Meet Tricia Walsh Smith, who's harnessed the power of YouTube and a Magic: The Gathering deck to totally out her sleazebag of a Broadway producer ex-husband. [YouTube]
· "Sign district" status for downtown and K-Town brings us one step closer to the blinking neon, replicant-infested L.A. we all wish would get here already. [Curbed LA]
· Kim Cattrall is thrilled to star alongside Daniel Radcliffe in PBS's Samantha and Harry Potter Try Something Period and Artsy-Fartsy For a Change of Pace. [AP]
· Michelle Rodriguez on her sexuality: ""What the majority of [people] want to know is what I'm doing with my vagina, and I think that that's sick." Translation: Not putting penises in it! [latina.com]

Despite all the photos we've seen from the Sex And The City movie set, and all the rumors circling around about plotlines and marriages and dream sequences, fans of the show are still in the dark regarding what lies in store for the four aging heroines. And expressing any interest whatsoever is somewhat embarrassing, since caring about the futures of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte has become slightly de rigueur as each passing year post-finale makes SATC episodes look more and more ancient and silly. But for those of you who feel no shame in wondering what happens in the big-screen version of the girls' lives (at least in the privacy of your own cubicle or home), the NY Post has provided a few spoilers to satisfy your curiosity. More info after the jump; warning, it's spoiler heavy.

Cattrall achieved fame as the over-the-top vamp Samantha on Sex and the City.

["Sex and the City"'s Kim Cattrall and a friend (?) act the good Samaritan and clean a private beach while on break from a photo shoot, Malibu, Jan 8; image via Bauer-Griffin]

We don't think a certain, syndicated entertainment news program had succumbed to hyperbole when they recently dubbed Sex and the City: The Movie "the single most anticipated event in history"—the rapid decline of global civilization in the early aughts has been directly tied by many designer-footware academics to a lack of Sushi Samba-based cosmo klatsches since the show left the airwaves. Of course, that the reunion happened at all is a miracle, particularly when one considers that the more accommodating of the City quadrumvirate were given bonuses just for having been subjected to Kim Cattrall:

• Alli Sims, Britney Spears' cousin-assistant, got served with papers by Kevin Federline's lawyer for the upcoming custody craziness. How could he want to take Brit-Brit's babies away? She is doing such a good job. [Us]
  

Great news for those whose lives have felt a little empty ever since Sex and the City's cast members collectively miscalculated their career prospects back in 2004 and left the warm, protective bosom of premium cable to suckle at the unforgiving teat of the big screen: HBO and New Line have finally bought off all four of the SATC gals, allowing them to move forward with the long-gestating feature version of their beloved TV series. Var reports on how holdout Kim Cattrall was convinced to join the reunion:

Cosmopolitan editor Kate White threw a book party of sorts at Michael's today? The hostesses, who—for the record—didn't look too abused, asked why I was there. "For that book thing whatever," I said. They pointed me to the bar. The first thing that caught my eye was Elizabeth Hasselbeck. She was still wearing the harlequin dress that merely hours earlier had weathered the heat of battle with Rosie O'Donnell. Her face was still unnaturally tan. And one long deep wrinkle, as if she had traded in all the little ones for this one, perfectly bisected her forehead.

· Stevie Wonder's mom, Lulu Hardaway, inexplicably referring to herself in the third person, complains that her son won't endorse "Lulu's book." [Page Six]
· Human housing market indicator, Barbara Corcoran, is buying real estate while it's cheap. [Page Six]
· Moby, fearing an attack by Eminem fans, is having a New Year's Eve bash at an undisclosed location. [Page Six]
· Sex in the City siren Kim Cattrall and husband Mark Levinson are getting a divorcepossibly because Levinson wants to be married to "Samantha" and not Kim. [Cindy Adams]
· Giuliani says proposals to build the world's tallest buildings at the trade center site are a mistake, and his latest book may prove a hit for Talk/Miramax. [Liz Smith]
· Cameron Diaz dances dirty with Leonard di Caprio at Dorsea, while Hugh Grant gooses Harvey Weinstein [Intelligencer]