What were you doing when you were 8? This little girl was breaking records in weight lifting while some of us were glued to our Super Nintendo's and Sega Genesis. Umm, perhaps it's time to put down this double cheeseburger...

Beyoncé says that, "A diva is a female version of a hustler." Well, she can take the "female" part out, because this boy is certifiably F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S. Watch as he—plus his fierce outfit/trusty pink sheet—dances like it's nobody's business.

Remember those cartoons you loved as a kid like Rocko's Modern Life and Ren and Stimpy? They seemed so funny at first, but really there's some serious depravity going on. A collection of the worst innuendos and inappropriate jokes inside.

Liam Derbyshire, an 11-year-old British lad, has a rare condition that causes him to stop breathing when he sleeps. His parents plug him into life support every night. He's also in remission from cancer. And you think your life's tough!

The Coca-Cola Village, an Israeli theme park for teens, recently introduced RFID bracelets that store every guest's Facebook login/password, allowing them to "Like" physical attractions and tag themselves in photos with nothing but a swipe of the wrist. Video inside.

A 12-year-old girl was arrested on Wednesday in Queens, New York as part of a huge NYPD drug bust that nabbed 42 other people. Maybe she was the ringleader! Probably not though, as drug rings are complicated and dangerous organizations.

This video is hilarious. And not because it's of a zebra in some kid's yard, but because of the boy's narration. For example: "There's a zebra in my yard... a real zebra, I'm not even messing with you!" Video inside.

Shameless parents ask this little girl to recount the bedroom romp she overheard. Watch as she gives a full rundown, including sound effects and commentary, of her parents' indiscretions.

[India-hating Time "satirist" Joel Stein might not like this, but Sunday was India's Independence Day! Happy Independence Day, India! These are some schoolchildren performing for the celebration in Bangalore. Pic via AP.]

Pedophiles are everywhere, and they want your child: Fashion, to the rescue! Introducing Safe Cuddling, a fluffy playsuit that keeps the bad men away.

11-year-old movie critic Jackson visited The Early Show recently to review summer films. While Jackson liked Ramona and Beezus (and "favorite" Toy Story 3) and loved Salt, he hated Inception for being "confusing." Uh, you're 11? The insufferable video, inside.

Poor Natalie Morales. She was probably the only Today Show anchor that would agree to interview these sextuplets bursting with energy, and she gets hit in the head anyway. Video of demonic children and their behavioral issues inside!

Dutch teen Laura Dekker leaves Wednesday for Portugal, where she will begin her attempt at being the youngest person to sail around the world alone. Last week a court released the 14-year-old from Dutch child protection services guardianship. [AP]

Today on Rachael Ray, the star of Super Nanny was on to help audience members with their child problems. Watch as this boy pleads with his mom to have a Facebook at the ripe age of ten.

Children in the Gaza Strip yesterday appeared to have broken their own previous Guinness World Record for the most kites flown, when 7,200 took to the skies over a beach in Gaza City. Image via AP

Chelsea Baker, 13, may be a girl but she plays like the boys. Having gone undefeated in her last four seasons, with a killer knuckle ball, she may be the most accomplished pitcher for her age, regardless of gender.

A study released today in the Journal of Pediatrics says that giving children drugs to shut up is child abuse, and motives include "overwhelmed parents looking for a break, amusement or punishment." Amusement? Ha! Look, my kid's on Oxys! [CNN]

Bad: a 17-year-old mother was arrested on Friday after surveillance cameras caught her trying to smother her four-month-old to death to "make life easier." Worse: she admitted to attempting it three previous times. Worst: she's barely being charged. More inside.

One, two, three: ZOMG SO CUTE CAN'T HANDLE THE CUTENESS AHHHHHH! Now that we have that out of the way, why don't you come inside and watch this adorable video of a baby eating a watermelon... while inside said watermelon.

After a mandatory body mass screening, the state of Massachusetts deemed nine-year-old Shelby Sumner overweight and sent a letter to her parents to notify them of her corpulence. On a side note, skinny girls got As for being anorexic.