kids-these-days

Teens Are Smoking Lots of, Uh, "Cigars"

Hamilton Nolan · 11/15/13 09:57AM

Today's flaccid teenagers are more interested in "gaming" on the computer with their "I-friends" than in smoking cigarettes, traditionally the cool teen pastime of choice. There is at least some burning, noxious silver lining for the tobacco industry.

Devil Child Floors Parents by Fluently Speaking Backwards English

Neetzan Zimmerman · 11/11/13 06:17PM

When 10-year-old Cameron Bissett started speaking English backwards with the same fluency of a non-possessed person speaking forward, his parents didn't pick up the phone and call a priest — they picked up a video camera and started asking their son to do lines.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/08/13 11:33AM

Despite lacking the wherewithal to make their own sandwiches, entitled "Millennials" are demanding that the sandwiches made for them come on bread that is "unconventional," "unique," or even "wacky." It's about time for some famous newsman to ghostwrite another book about WWII, so we can hear how a real generation ate.