Heartbreaking news from America's schools: children are approaching their teachers to ask what they should do now that their parents are unemployed. How embarrassing. Parents, don't let your kids blow up your spot. Talk to them about their newfound poorness.

If there are two things that reactionary tabloid sexpot Andrea Peyser enjoys, they are moralizing voyeurism of sexxxy teens, and blanket condemnations of Muslims. Can she combine both in one sexxxy, finger-wagging, drool-flecked column? This is America! (Yes.)

Police in Britain released this video of idiot teenagers car surfing in West Sussex, which resulted in driving bans for two people. In the video kids take turns flying around a parking lot, but they don't even do it right.

To succeed in America, you must get a college degree. To get a college degree, you must go into a soul-crushing amount of debt. And what do you get for all that money? Not learning. College kids don't learn stuff.

The young man seen here was apparently caught bragging about gang-banging activities, on Facebook. His uncle decided to whup his ass with a belt, live on video. Here is what strong social media boundary-setting looks like. Parents, take note.

No, it's not just your three friends from college and your ex-girlfriend and your cousin and those guys who used to be in your band: all the kids these days are moving to Austin, Texas. I heard Austin's cool, yeah.

A little-known aspect of Justin Bieber's rabid Internet fan base is the role that Bieber's camp plays in stoking the flames. Last night, Bieber's manager held an impromptu webcam chat and urged girls to lure guys into his new movie.

Placentas are nothing to be ashamed of. Four college nursing students demonstrated this, by posting photos of themselves on Facebook, posing with a human placenta. Their school kicked them out?! Say hello to a lawsuit, Johnson County (Kansas) Community College!

The meaning of grades, explained! Hurdles, hurdled! Teachers, sexxxily harassed! Science fairs, endangered! Manga, fake classes held! Science, professionalized! Books, criticized! Data, supersized and atomized! It's your Monday Education Watch, where we watch education—because it's a free country!

The majority of Americans officially had "difficult" childhoods. It all fits.

15-year-old Dutch sailor Laura Dekker arrived in St. Maarten on her solo trip around the world today.

Kids these days aren't even interested in "Silly Bandz" bracelets any more. Kids these days are all about "I (heart) boobies!" bracelets now. Kids these days!

The internet is so popular these days! A big new survey shows that people of all ages are emailing, searching, shopping, banking, and browsing news and information online more than ever. What they aren't doing more is blogging.

"Shit happens," Hawaii community college philosophy teacher Daniel Petersen tells his students, and Osama bin Laden could "kill you and your goddamn god." For this provocative philosophical cussing, some girl's dad complained, and now Daniel Petersen's out of a job.

Just to be perfectly clear: yes, Save The Children has suddenly stopped its work in support of a tax on soda; but no, that's not connected to the huge monetary grant the group's seeking from the Coca-Cola corporation. Okay. [NYT]

Another kid crawled into a toy claw machine and hung out inside, playing with toys! This time around, there's a picture of the two-year-old girl, eerily described as a "living doll." A fireman rescued her.

We naturally assumed that the United States of America took a backseat to no one when it comes to sexualizing our children at inappropriately young ages for the sake of commerce. Turns out, no: the UK is even pervier.

All-too-sober wine marketing mavens have their eyes on the wine drinkers of the future: The "Millennials," a.k.a. you, probably. Don't be intimidated, young Four Loko-swillers. The wine industry is going to make this whole thing very easy for you.

What the hell are our tweens doing on their little computer phones and Facebooks? Surely they aren't simply changing their avatars to cartoon characters all day. They're being bullied, and bullying. Luckily it's easy to see everything they do online.

Bee colors! Useless vitamins! Bad medicine! Big mammals! Cell trickery! Eating kids! Deer danger! And something else extremely boring! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—and try not to doze off, because dang!