Scientists, of All People, Call Something Boring
Bee colors! Useless vitamins! Bad medicine! Big mammals! Cell trickery! Eating kids! Deer danger! And something else extremely boring! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—and try not to doze off, because dang!
- Red bees!? Well I'll be damned.
- Vitamin D supplements? You don't need em. Calcium supplements? Forget it! What are you, an osteoporosis-ridden cave dweller? Oh. Well in that case, the supplements aren't a bad idea.
- Have you ever given medications to your children? You gave them the wrong amount. If you were wondering why your children have experienced "certain sexual side effects," this is probably the reason, but that doesn't excuse you from wondering about that, sicko.
- After the dinosaurs went extinct, mammals got bigger. Cause dinosaurs weren't constantly eating all of them. Wow, science, great job. Why even exist?
- Devious scientists have learned to trick cells into transforming their very identities. Kind of like how you tricked that girl into thinking you were a "rocket scientist," isn't that right, Mike? You know you're not a god damn rocket scientist.
- So many kids these days have eating disorders and someone should really do something about it.
- Deers: where do they live? RIGHT THERE OHMIGOD LOOK OUT.
- Real live science has determined that April 11, 1954 was the most boring day in history. Until now.