Cannabis-derived smoking drug marijuana, once confined to fringe attendees of elderly "hippie" music festivals and 1960s-era "dead heads," has now firmly implanted itself in America's youth culture, as teenagers embrace its "organic" marketing label and retro appeal. But surely this fresh-from-the-plant leafy green fertilizer-intensive drug will confine itself to our nation's rural areas, right? That's where you're wrong, parents—it's already making its way into America's largest city.

In the fabled "golden age" of America, parents were able to rest easy knowing that their kids would have good schools to attend, safe neighborhoods in which to play, and ample cholesterol-enriched food to consume as they grew. No more. Schools are hell; parks are weed-infested; and children just like yours are eating food severely lacking in precious cholesterol. Is your child's internal reserve of cholesterol at risk?

19-year-old Ikram Choudhury of Edinburgh, Scotland, could face charges for photographing a hit-and-run victim who lay dying by the side of the road, and then driving away without calling for help.

The premise of "Rich Kids of Instagram" is self-evident, but the Tumblr blog du jour still puts its mission statement upfront for the easily confused: "They have more money than you and this is what they do."

17-year-old Tyler Pagenstecher of Mason, Ohio, has been charged with two felony counts of trafficking in drugs for his alleged role as leader of a multi-million dollar marijuana ring.

Your teenage daughter—how much do you really know about her? You know that she likes church, and playing with dolls, and going to the ice cream shoppe. But did you know that she wants to be tied up and sexually dominated by a dark brooding stranger? Well, she does. Sorry.

Meet Taylor Cotter. I mean, just pretend she's here or something. Taylor is a 22-year-old graduate of Northeastern Journalism School. She has a job, a car, and an apartment. So what is Taylor's big problem? Her big problem is that she's too successful to be living "that 10-cents-a-word life that I always wanted." Crumbs! Can we help this poor young go-getter, somehow?

A vast new survey has found that school in America is far too easy, according to America's students, who are unable to pass tests indicating minimal competence in school.

"Albert Roundtree Jr. is a 6 year old rapper from South Florida," reads the description for "Booty Pop" — the alleged music prodigy's first music video, which, ironically, he is not allowed to watch.

The family of a three-year-old boy from Murrieta, California, became alarmed when they couldn't rouse him from a 15-hour sleep before realizing the toddler had consumed several of his grandmother's special "space cookies."

Jonathan Krohn made conservatives jowls flutter giddily when he addressed attendees of the 2009 Conservative Political Action Conference at the tender age of 13.

The four Athena Middle School students from who verbally abused elderly bus monitor Karen Klein have been suspended from school and its bus transportation system for one full year, Greece Central School District Superintendent Barbara Deane-Williams announced today.

A 17-year-old California kid got his arm stuck inside a vending machine while attempting to lift a soda can through the receiving slot.

The hot new drug kids are abusing is sold over the counter. It's cheap, it's easy to access, and children readily slather it all over their bodies for the full effect.

An aged bus monitor employed by the Greece Central School District in Rochester, New York, is moved to tears while being verbally abused by a murder of petulant school children in a blood-boiling video uploaded to YouTube by a concerned third party.

A high school teacher in Montreal is facing possible termination after he played the infamous "psycho killer" snuff film during a history and citizenship class last week.

Is it possible to bridge the divide between two NYC subway platforms?

Hanging up shitty student art is a time-honored school tradition, but one particular picture is stirring controversy at Fresno's Hamilton School. That's because it's a drawing of Jesus with the caption, "I want you to kill all infidels."

Is Miley Cyrus poking fun at her wrist-cutting rumors?

Challenging a dress code that prohibits "shoulders, undergarments, midriffs and lower backs" from being exposed, some 100 students at Manhattan's prestigious Stuyvesant High School shed their clothes for a day of protest dubbed "Slutty Wednesday."