There are TV characters you hate to love, and then there are those whose love you hate. TV Guide writer Damien Holbrook tackles the latter in the magazine's upcoming feature, "Top 10 Most Annoying TV Couples," which details the most aggravating, chemistry-free romances ever foisted on television by a hubris-stricken showrunner. Did your least favorite couple make the list? Will Katherine Heigl make her beloved Joshua forward the article to the Grey's Anatomy writers? Results and analysis, after the jump:First, the runners-up: No. 10 – Rob & Amber, Survivor No. 9 – Sara & Grissom, CSI No. 8 – Ryan & Marissa, The O.C. No. 7 – Trista & Ryan, The Bachelorette No. 6 – Kate & Jack, Lost No. 5 – Billy & Alison, Melrose Place No. 4 – Clark & Lana, Smallville No. 3 – Boris & Natasha, The Bullwinkle Show (ed. note: ???) And the top two, excerpted from TV Guide:

By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it's interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN's headline on the nuptials, noticed by blogger Chexydecimal, which reads, "Ellen DeGeneres 'marries' Portia Rossi." After complaints were lodged, they pulled the scare quotes—floating there like two chubby, hooked televangelist's fingers—but kept De Rossi's last name wrong. T.R. Knight's internalized, anti-breeder wrath nearly ruins the wedding video, after the jump!At the other end of the spectrum comes a video greeting card from People.com, where Katherine Heigl opens the well-wishes with a thoroughly exasperated, "Marriage...[defeated exhalation] marriage..." Glad you're loving it, Kath! Then, T.R. Knight swoops in to give what could very well be the most depressing congratulatory wedding message in history. He almost cracks a smile near the beginning, then pauses thoughtfully for an uncomfortably long moment before launching into a diatribe about "the anger, and rage, and rage, and sadness" he feels at the many wrongs inflicted by this country upon, presumably, Caucasian males making seven-figures a year such as himself. Thank God Jason Biggs is around to add a little—you know—happiness to the proceedings. This dude loves marriage! And breeding! He's a marriage-loving, breeding machine!

Katherine Heigl paused for a moment on the red carpet for the Hot in Hollywood event on Saturday night to admire "the girls". The Bride of Chucky star had forgotten just how awesome the girls were and that the dress really put them on a golden platter. Heigl said, "Joshua always talks about how great they are, but what's that saying? You can't see the forest from the trees. I thought I was only seeing the trees, but apparently, I have a magnificent and lush forest here."

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory star Katherine Heigl performed a bit of light calisthenics before embarking on a shopping expedition in Santa Monica on Tuesday morning. You see, Heigl got bit of a charlie horse the last time she went to Barney's in Beverly Hills, which left her in a surly mood for a few days afterwards. Heigl said, "That injury really knocked the wind out of my sails. I could barely walk for a few days afterwards. It was great having everybody helping me out. Joshua make daily runs over to the House Of Pies for the chocolate crème pie. It was nice, but I was bit of a pill and there's no need for a repeat performance."

Ah yes, the dog days of summer. These are the kind of days where nothing sounds finer than sitting 'round the backyard with a few of your closest chums, tossing back a few cold ones and firing up the grill. But this weekend, instead of cooking up some Hebrew Nationals and a few burgers, might we suggest that you bring all the fixins for a nice Dirt Sandwich instead? The ingredients are pretty simple, and you can't beat the calorie count: all you need is an internet connection, a computer and an internet browser that's pointed right here. If you have a laptop computer and a WiFi connection then, well, that's even better. Gather your friends round the warm light of your computer screen and click play. Because nothing says summer time like topless supermodels, a John Stamos marathon make out sesh and Katherine Heigl's continued emasculation of her husband Joshua. Enjoy!

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Much like the first day of elementary school, Katherine Heigl spent a decent portion of her first day back on set catching up with the cast and crew of the popular medical drama Grey's Anatomy. When it came to time to explain what she did over her vacation, an uncomfortable silence filled the parking lot. A pensive Heigl kicked at a few imaginary pebbles then explained that she's got to listen to her lines on her iPod in her car and added that she might check out that 'cake fart' website everybody is raving about as well.

Seeking an escape from the wall-to-wall coverage of the Great Earthquake, Grey's Anatomy amigos T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl engaged in a bit of retail therapy at the Americana in Glendale. Knight and Heigl felt that new shopping center was a lot like the Grove, but with fewer tourists. Sensing a lull in their conversation, Knight asked if Heigl had sent an apology bouquet from Edible Arrangements to the writers yet. Heigl shook her head and said that she couldn't decide on which one to send. Knight thought the right approach would probably be to just send all of the arrangements.

Before embarking on a late summer vacation, momanger extraordinaire Nancy Heigl promised to reward her daughter/client Katherine Heigl with a mysterious envelope if she does a good job housesitting for a week. Katherine begged her mother for a clue, but Mrs. Heigl refused and said that the Roswell star would have to wait until she gets back. Mrs. Heigl said, "All I need you to do is make sure the new episode of Mad Men doesn't get deleted and you'll be happily surprised by the contents inside the pink envelope. And no Grey's Anatomy read throughs either. You know how rowdy they can get." Katherine pouted, but then Mrs. Heigl waved the envelope in her daughter's face and the frown quickly turned upside down.

Katherine Heigl has never failed to shock us, whether she’s yapping about her highly tuned gaydar or wearing dresses made out of The Darjeeling Limited's costume leftovers. But her latest comments on her childhood spent growing up Mormon suggest that, on top of burning Emasculated Husband Joshua Kelley’s pinky finger and forcing him to wait until the very second her biological clock beeps “Procreate!” to have kids, she may even make the poor guy raise said kids Big Love-style. As she recently told a British tab:

Popular actress Katherine Heigl valiantly fought her urge to enjoy one of her trademark cigarettes after a meal in Pasadena on Monday. It was a perfect moment for a cigarette; the waiter even put an ashtray on the table for Heigl. Yet Heigl remained steadfast in her decision to restart her New Year''s resolution a few months later. Mrs. Heigl noticed the tension in her daughter's face and slightly nudged the ashtray over to her daughter. Heigl shot the ashtray back like a hockey puck. Heigl said, "I just have this really big food baby, right now. It'll pass in a bit."

The world awoke this morning to the chirping of little birds resembling Kristin Chenoweth and Neil Patrick Harris, perched at a podium in the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, announcing nominations for the 60th Emmy Awards. While most rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, we sat bolt upright as usual and sprinted to the window, our furious note-taking chronicling a few snubs, surprises and plenty of the conventional wisdom we've come to expect from the annual ritual.

Made to address rumors that Grey's Anatomy writers' room dartboard pinup-girl Katherine Heigl might not survive the coming season, ABC head Steve

Unless that's what you want. Katherine Heigl may have finally done it. Someone on the inside at her popular show Grey's Anatomy is whispering that Heigl's character, Izzie, will get a brain tumor and possibly die in the upcoming season. "It's their way of screwing with her," the insider says. "She won't know whether she's going to live or die." Hah! ABC has only confirmed that her former costar Jeffrey Dean Morgan-who played a patient that she loved but sorta killed (right?)-will be back in the saddle for some episodes. The inside source says that he'll be appearing in Izzie's tumor-induced dreams/hallucinations. So yeah, she may have finally pissed off the showrunners enough to get once-and-for-all written off the show, which she seems, foolishly, to be gunning for. I mean what other reason could she possibly have to publicly trash the writers (saying that their writing for her character made her unworthy of Emmy consideration)? You know, other than rampant unchecked ego. Now, I'm sure that if the character passes on, the decision will be chalked up to gentle creative differences. But we'll know the truth: it was revenge.

Bride Of Chucky star Katherine Heigl and husband/rocker Joshua Kelley ran into a bit of trouble with an old man while on way to the Coldplay concert. The commotion began when Heigl made a stop in an Los Angeles area neighborhood to pick up an friend. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Heigl was greeted by paparazzi and fans taking pictures. The old man, reportedly named Mr. Johnson, came out storming out of his 2 bedroom ranch when the flashbulbs and clamor made it nearly impossible for him and his wife, Gertrude, to watch America's Got Talent. Mr. Johnson told Heigl that if she didn't leave by the count of ten, he would turn the hose on them. A panicked Joshua Kelley grabbed Heigl and headed into the car, explaining that he didn't want to get his hair wet.

[Actress Katherine Heigl, who we seem to dislike these days, enjoying a bloody Mary and a smoke in LA yesterday; image via INF]

The ongoing mutual loathfest between notoriously stroppy film and TV star Katherine Heigl and the producers of Grey's Anatomy reaches a hateration crescendo with rumors that her character will have the plot equivalent of a soft hospital pillow (or maybe an actual one) pressed onto her face by showrunner Shonda Rhimes until all of her limbs stop flailing, at which point her lifeless corpse will be free to pursue whatever big screen pursuits it so pleases. From EOnline.com:

Okay. Until now, we’d tried to give Jessica Alba the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she’s impossible to watch in any movie she’s ever made, what with her amateur acting skills that include crafted facial expressions such as “I’m Happy, See, Because You Can See My Teeth!” and “I’m Sexy, See, Because You Can See My Bikini-Clad Butt!” And yes, she made pregnancy look like possibly the most miserable state of being, unlike all those other actresses who affected the standard Glow (see Naomi Watts and even Nicole Kidman, incapable of moving her face, yet still dewy and happy ‘til the arrival of her daughter Sunday). But after reading an excerpt from new mom Alba in next month’s UK Cosmo, we think it’s safe to say the actress, who insults all male actors, obsesses over her weight, and shows warning signs of early Husband Emasculation, is on her way to becoming the next Katherine Heigl:

Madonna's epic reputation as a racy, sexual icon who lives life with "no regrets" has encountered a few speed bumps in recent years. The transition from Material Girl to Earth Mother circa Ray Of Life in 1998 marked the most significant rupture to her free-wheeling Erotica-encapsulated days of drugs, sex, and whispered rock 'n roll, an "epiphany" she credited to Kabbalah. But after the ethereal schtick grew tired, the older but not necessarily wiser Madge launched a campaign to reclaim her It Girl Woman cred by slipping Christina and Britney some tongue, spreading her legs for Hard Candy, and using that handy Husband Emasculation method perfected by Katherine Heigl to resurrect her old identity as a shockworthy icon of sorts. And after hearing just what kind of "sordid" revelations await us in her estranged brother's tell-all memoir Life With My Sister Madonna, we don't think Madge's reps should even bother issuing a denial about Christopher Ciccone's book. Anecdotes about same-sex makeout sessions, drug parties with studio execs, and straight-edge Guy Ritchie's alleged "homophobic" tendencies, all of which actually add up to a convincing pro-Madonna campaign...

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Eli Roth sucking face with a teenager when he should've been watching Schindler's List The Happening.