Prince William and Kate Middleton are playing with fire. Charlie Sheen bounces back. Lindsay Lohan is shocked. And Michelle Williams might be a hipster. Welcome to your Gossip Roundup: Lord's Day edition.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are a young, attractive couple who have been living together for ages. If they haven't had sex by now we'd be worried. Luckily nobody in the UK cares about whether their princesses are virgins anymore.

Charlie Sheen's live show was terrible, unsurprisingly. Lindsay Lohan might play a murder victim. Kate Middleton has six hairdressers. Bad things are happening in the world; let's numb ourselves with a Sunday Gossip Roundup!

The Royal Palace tells People that there will only be one ring at the Wedding Extravaganza of the Century next month, per the couple's wishes. Yes, no wedding band for Prince Willie. What do you think that means?

Chris Brown apologizes for breaking GMA's window. Whoopi Goldberg confesses she was high when she won her Oscar. Ashley Greene's post-Jonas rumspringa continues. And Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest at Liz Taylor's funeral. Thursday gossip has regrets.

Asked about his history of violence, Chris Brown flies into a violent rage. Rob Pattinson calls Justin Bieber a liar. Bam Margera calls a girl a whale and gets punched in the face. Tuesday gossip lacks impulse control.

Tiger Woods' gentle path is in danger. Courteney Cox and David Arquette reunite. Renee Zellweger dumped Bradley because he wouldn't propose. Britney Spears gets a tutor. Monday gossip backslides.

Holy shit, Prince William and Kate Middleton might have a honeymoon destination in mind! The dashing prince, on a tour of cyclone-ravaged Queensland, Australia said he enjoys scuba diving and complained about the "dreadful" weather back home. Then, according to the Telegraph, he dropped the big one on a crowd in the coastal city of Cairns: "I will have to come back, maybe we'll have a honeymoon in Cairns?" And the crowd went wild.

A transparent dress that princess-to-be Kate Middleton wore to a 2002 fashion show has sold at auction for about $125,000.

Chris Brown explains the emergence of a naked self-portrait: "Girls be reckless." Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing in New York. For the price of 15 minutes with a high-end hooker, you can now meet Charlie Sheen. TGIFriday gossip.

Kate Middleton's parents are contributing a six-figure sum towards her sure-to-be-extravagant wedding to Prince William, reports royal wedding and Kennedy assassination guide Vanity Fair. Is that in pounds? Cause then it's like $174 kajillion. Still, it's probably worth it.

Lindsay Lohan hyperventilates and calls the paparazzi "animals." Someone is selling a sex tape of Usher. Charlie Sheen misses his son's birthday party. Britney Spears reunites with K-Fed at her son's baseball game. Monday gossip sucks and blows.

Though we love her news anchor dad, we are worried about this young actress. Also today: let's analyze Suri Cruise for absolutely no reason, more exciting wedding news about the world's most important wedding, and Amanda Seyfried fesses up.

A young upstart named Gwyneth Paltrow is now embarking on a great adventure, specifically conquering the music industry. Also today: Justin Bieber's tweets grow up so fast, there are naked pictures of Britney Spears that exist somewhere, and Kate Middleton picks a dress designer!

• The Venice Beach jewelry store at the center of Lindsay Lohan's necklace theft case has sold the surveillance tape that purportedly shows Lilo stealing the $2,500 necklace. This will likely screw up the trial, but Entertainment Tonight's going to play the video on Monday anyway. They've already released a few teaser stills, where Lindsay is seen trying on stuff at the jewelry store. According to the video's official website (yes, it exists) "The tapes speak for themselves." Are theft tapes the new sex tapes? [Radar]

Christina Aguilera's mugshot wasn't supposed to be released, but here it is, anyway. Scarlett Johansson gives Sean Penn a lap dance with her foot. Montana Fishburne narrowly avoids jailtime. Wednesday gossip sneaks forbidden peeks.

The royal wedding invitation is here! Kim Kardashian licks her boyfriend's tongue in public. Lindsay Lohan's parents battle for her in the tabloids. Old pictures of JWoww making out with a girl. Sunday Gossip Roundup is here.

What is wrong with Anne Hathaway's pants? A few Charlie Sheen tidbits. New Kid on the Block Jonathan Knight officially comes out. Come, explore Prince William and Kate Middleton's Scotland. Sunday Gossip Roundup makes it all better.

Nicki Minaj self-debunks. Lilo's nurse wants a truce. Kate Middleton has chosen her dress. David Beckham did not have sex with a hooker. Paris Hilton's return to porn. Jared Leto's intense driver's license picture. Sunday gossip roundup is here!

Owen Wilson had a baby boy. Kim Kardashian tweeted a picture of herself in a tiny bikini. Charlie Sheen slept with five women at once. Selena Gomez removed her purity ring. Saturday Gossip Roundup!