Charlie Sheen's dog keels over from malnutrition and neglect. Lady Gaga gets diamonds and a sex doll for her birthday. Kanye's new girlfriend is Pharrell's niece. Beyonce fires her dad. Tuesday gossip has a body count.

• The Venice Beach jewelry store at the center of Lindsay Lohan's necklace theft case has sold the surveillance tape that purportedly shows Lilo stealing the $2,500 necklace. This will likely screw up the trial, but Entertainment Tonight's going to play the video on Monday anyway. They've already released a few teaser stills, where Lindsay is seen trying on stuff at the jewelry store. According to the video's official website (yes, it exists) "The tapes speak for themselves." Are theft tapes the new sex tapes? [Radar]

A few hours ago, Kanye West tweeted a picture of his various accoutrements in an airport security bin. What do you think the subtext was?

Women begin to flee Charlie Sheen and CBS cancels his show, but he says they just "can't handle my power." Dianna Agron's "psycho" ex-boyfriend's house catches fire. Christina Aguilera gets drunk and bangs her boyfriend in the bathroom at a family get-together. TGIFriday gossip.

Taping in Rockefeller Center sure is dangerous, and not because of all the annoying tourists. Today while taping in the outdoor plaza, a crazy person hopped the barricade and lunged for hosts Meredith Vieira, Al Roker, and an android known as the Willie Geist 3000. Don't worry, no weathermen were injured in the making of this film.

Former music executive and current advertising guru Steve Stoute took a full-page ad out in the Sunday New York Times basically saying, "Yo, Grammys. I'm really happy for you. I'm gonna let you finish, but Eminem, Kanye West, and Justin Bieber had the best albums of all time." The sad thing is he's right.

Kanye promised a video for "All of the Lights" was coming by this weekend, and he didn't let us down. What West, Rihanna, and Kid Cudi delivered is a visual delight. Rihanna's not so bad on the eyes, either.

Ashton and Demi ignore a chorus of boos in Brazil. Charlie Sheen's rehab center is actually just his house. Glee apologizes to Lindsay Lohan. Helen Bonham Carter praises her own "huge breasts." Tuesday gossip is enhanced with video.

Today at Gawker.TV, Joan Rivers and the Fashion Police name their "Worst Dressed" at the Golden Globes, James Lipton makes a cameo on The Simpsons, new Archer, and Kim Kardashian flirts with Kanye on the premiere of her new show.

For what seemed like no reason whatsoever, Kanye West appeared in last night's big premiere of The Kardashian Sisters Have Another Show—and It's In Your City! Let's break down the new developments in the lives of the Kardashians.

[You can learn a lot about a straight man by how he reacts to an ex-girlfriend dating a woman. Kanye West is probably in the "I was such a good lover, I ruined men forever" camp. Click to enlarge.]

Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are having babies. Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Michael Douglas beats cancer. Andy Dick gets kicked out of the Oscars of porn. Tuesday gossip giggles and coos.

A disfiguring dance floor accident forced David Arquette into rehab. Eva Longoria rebounds with Penelope Cruz's brother. T.I. gets "frisky" in jail. James Franco: "Maybe I'm just gay." Thursday gossip hits rock bottom.

Last night's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! gave the viewer quite an easter egg: a fake promo for Josh Groban's new album, The Best Tweets of Kanye West, which features the singer performing songs set to the prolific rapper's musings.

Kim Kardashian's music career is actually happening, and she's as confused as you are. "I didn't mean to, but I did this song," she explained at the debut performance of "Turn It Up." Earlier that day, she shot the video.

After watching Kanye's new video for his latest single "Monster," did you find yourself pining for more, err, monsters? Thank goodness for the internet, who has rescued us once again with this mash-up featuring Sesame Street's best monsters.

How did you celebrate New Year's Eve? Probably not with a supermodel in Mexico. Jenny McCarthy has a new boyfriend. Justin Bieber tries to win Selena Gomez's heart with diamonds. New Year's Day Gossip Roundup is surprisingly not hungover!

Fake celebrity rumors are the id of pop culture, where we act lecherously (naked Miley), think wishfully (pregnant Aniston), and exorcise unspeakably hideous demons (prison raped LiLo). Some fake rumors are better than others. Here are the best.

[Kanye West drags a backpack to the studio in Culver City, California. Updated caption by The_Obvious. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift's relationship is still perfect in every way. Lindsay Lohan is scared of a photographer. Kanye's ex is out on the town. Demi Lovato's got a sex tape Saturday Gossip Roundup is happy to be here.