Today in "Why Detroit Can't Have Nice Things:" one Detroit newspaper caught a writer for another Detroit newspaper tagging up a brand new bridge—which was, by definition, the nicest thing in Detroit. Allow us to defend her crime!

In the wake of hearings about the youngest Guantanamo detainee, four of the most experienced journalists have been banned from entering the facility on very spurious grounds. Is the government merely trying to avoid further scrutiny?

In March the Village Voice's Foster Kamer made a penis joke about Jim Dolan, the evil billionaire who controls Cablevision, Madison Square Garden, and Rainbow Media. Dolan was not amused. Now he's retaliated by getting $1 million of advertising pulled.

In your enriching Thursday media column: someone in the media finally strikes it rich, everyone blames Jon Meacham, Les Moonves is wildly overpaid, and you better not buy what he's selling.

The Washington Post's Ian Shapira is shocked, shocked, that a competing reporter would deign to speculate on who Ian Shapira's anonymous sources were. In how many ways is Ian Shapira wrong? Let us brainstorm.

In your worrisome Wednesday media column: more details on the sudden (hot!) offering of Newsweek for sale, the guys at Atlantic Media hate the Politico, CNN and CBS huddle together for warmth, and cow journalism remains legal—for now.

The FBI has filed its criminal complaint against Times Square Car Bomb suspect Faisal Shahzad. In it, they say that Shahzad admitted that he "recently received bomb-making training in Waziristan, Pakistan."

In your biased Tuesday media column: a WaPo reporter loses all credibility with hateful Jesus wingnuts, yet another Tumblr-to-book deal, the entire media apparatus struggles to figure out the internet's secrets, and a new poll proves nobody is credible.

In your magical Monday media column: Media CEOs earn Monopoly money, a fine White House Celebucocksucking Dinner roundup, CNN gets a new toy, and the Arizona Republic finds a use for editorials.

Last Friday, The Wrap reported that The New Yorker was being pressured by billionaire Hollywood power broker and Clinton pal Haim Saban to remove politically (and economically) sensitive portions of a massive new profile of Saban. It didn't work.

MSNBC's Phil Griffin obviously did not see Obama's excellent speech yesterday about setting aside partisan bickering. He told the Chicago Tribune that Fox News overlord Roger Ailes "changed the world," and that the creation of the partisan network was "brilliant."

In your pleasant Thursday media column: Sarah Palin produces a string of English-language words that ostensibly describe Glenn Beck, a NYT reporter is hazy on sourcing rules, Barack Obama smooches the press, and management moves at Forbes.

The White House press corps has some complaints about how they're treated (I know, crazy!). On the one hand, sure, power to the press. On the other hand, everyone sounds like children jealous of the New York Times.

In your indignant Wednesday media column: yet another example of the WSJ's determined surliness, big media buys cheap ass stories, the battle for control of the doomed Philly papers, and Alex Pareene is somewhere else now.

Our nation's college journalists just cannot stop getting themselves arrested, for journalism. Alex Kotran, intrepid photojournalist-at-large for the Ohio State Lantern, was simply covering two runaway and potentially deadly cows, when he was rudely detained. Fiends.

The Way We Live Now: Standing up for our right to enthusiastic baristas. When all the employees leave your neighborhood coffee shop you're like, whoa, what should I do, just go work at the strip club, instead? Times demand it.

In your snippy Tuesday media column: Rupert Murdoch gets snippy at Pinch Sulzberger, Sumner Redstone gets snippy at Rupert Murdoch, we get snippy at the LA Times, and Variety's readership gets snipped.

Machine-like purveyor of conventional media wisdom Howard Kurtz takes on the DC press corps' most important question today: Hey, is Politico's Mike Allen really Washington's Most Important Journalist? Or might that Most Important Journalist be [my name]?

In your energetic Monday media column: Richard Beckman has a hardcore plan for The Hollywood Reporter, newspaper circulation declines, The Wrap gets paid big time, and anonymous angry stories from the bowels of the New York Post.

"Rats Mob the Upper East Side." So reads the cosmically appropriate top headline in the Wall Street Journal's new New York section, with which Rupert Murdoch plans to exterminate the New York Times. The newspaper war is on!